I’ve written several times in the past about so called “products of convenience” that really aren’t convenient or where it is questionable that anyone is asking for them. But P.B. Slices a.k.a. “The Funner Peanut Butter” may take the cake as the most utterly ridiculous product I have seen yet.

My pal Brendan, over at Endless Simmer has brought this wonderful product to my attention, along with Thursday Night Smackdown. However, as JoeHoya of Capital Spice observes, we have the talented researchers at Oklahoma State University to thank for this creation.

Brendan refused to link to the company’s website, but you know what? I will. Why? For no other reason than to alert you to the fact that their slogan is “The Funner Peanut Butter.”

Now putting aside the fact that “funner” isn’t even a word, what exactly makes these peanut butter slices more fun then regular peanut butter? Is it the fact that you have to remove them from cellophane wrapping? That you can roll them up or wrap them around things? I always thought the most fun part of peanut butter was that it was a little messy. Plus, it’s one of the few foods you can eat out of the jar without feeling THAT guilty.

So what would you use these P.B. Slices for?  Well the website has a couple suggestions:

On waffles or pancakes? Really? Is that a thing? Do people actually eat peanut butter on those products?  Also, I would be failing to do my job properly if I didn’t point out the ridiculousness of the picture that accompanies that list.  Dude, that girl is LOVING her mom right now.  Why? Probably because her mom bought her P.B. slices. Note to parents: if you don’t buy P.B. slices for your kids, they will most likely stop loving you.  That’s right, nothing says “I’m a good parent” like teaching your kids to be as lazy as possible when it comes to meal assembly, and to always, always, go with the pre-packaged, preservative laden “convenient” form of any food.

8 Responses

  1. dani

    I’m a pb freak so I want them, haha.

    And I have to say, yes, some people eat pb on their pancakes and waffles. My brother, now 31, always put pb on his waffles as a kid with syrup. So gross…

    Reply
  2. Eick

    Lem – Unfortunately it looks like most of the places that sell it are in the North or Southwest.

    The site has a list of retail outlets that sell it. Nothing on the east coast.

    Reply
  3. calexander13

    I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned the sinister astronaut-related implications of this foodstuff.

    This is obviously another part of the government’s plan to turn normal, ordinary citizens into ASTRONAUTS.

    Protect yourselves. Don’t trust anyone wearing a shiny helmet or chewing gum!

    Reply

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