I stumbled across the website for a new product recently, and I would like to declare that Bacon Salt appears to simultaneously be both the greatest, and the worst, condiment idea in the history of mankind.
First, let’s meet the founders, “Justin and Dave” (note:I have no evidence those are their real names). As you can see by the totally natural poses they are striking in the picture below, Bacon Salt is hip, fun and in-your-face!!! Yeaaaaaah!
Now here is where the marketing pitch starts to go wrong. I don’t know about you, but when I think “Bacon Expert” I usually don’t picture a skinny, balding guy in a sweater vest.
However, this is the point where I should note that “Justin and Dave” are totally hip to the series-of-tubes we call the internets, and thus are bloggers themselves. The name of their blog is, shocker! The Bacon Salt Blog. Here they blog about the many uses for, you guessed it…Bacon Salt!
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Jon, I love the taste of bacon as much as the next guy. However, before I make a purchase like this, I’m going to need to read some generic-sounding testimonial quotes that also include the person’s last initial, just so I can be sure the quotes are real.”
Fortunately for you, “Justin and Dave” (if those are their real names) have complied. Their homepage flashes a series of quotes touting why Bacon Salt is the world’s greatest product. Some of these quotes provide near irrefutable evidence of Bacon Salt’s greatness, such as this quote from “Chuck H.” (which we know is definitely NOT fake, because Chuck provided his last initial):
Touche, Chuck H. Touche.
Why WOULD you have regular fries if you could have bacon fries? Bacon fries? That sounds f-ing delicious. I would like to pre-emptively declare that this thought process should be applied to all fast food. Why would you have a vanilla shake when you can have a bacon-vanilla shake? Bacon Salt makes everything better!
So “Justin and Dave”, now that I’ve said my peace, let me confess: I’m jealous. You guys are living the American dream. Assuming, of course, that the American dream involves convicing people that no matter what food they are eating, it would taste better if it tasted like bacon.
So Good would like to extend an official congratulations to the creators of Bacon Salt. You’ve come up with an idea for a new condiment that is so, so, soooooooooo good.
Stumble it!
9 responses so far ↓
1 Attiya // Aug 10, 2007 at 1:00 pm
“Justin and Dave” must be the same people responsible for these tasty little creations: http://www.mcphee.com/items/11723.html
2 Andy // Aug 10, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Just wanted to point out that one of the testimonials on their site even used your ‘So Good’ catchphrase (see below). Looks like your catchphrase is catching on with the obese grade school demographic.
“I would spend my allowance on this. So good…”
- Alan’s 7 year old son
3 Kelt // Aug 11, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Jon,
Thank you for alerting me to the existence of this fine product! Unlike your dad, I need a reason to eat popcorn - a reason that consists of more than exploded corn. And since popcorn is one of the few things A.1. sauce can’t improve, I’m left with the lame choices of “butter” or “salt”. Unless you count the “golden flavor” motor oil they sell at the movies. Which I do not. What other food service industry could your server get away with saying “would you like butter with your bread?” and when you say “yes, that would be lovely I do so enjoy butter…” they squirt “golden” flavored industrial lubricants on your food with an old bicylcel pump instead? There would be lawsuits. There should be lawsuits. I think So Good should do an expose’ on the charlatanry that is “Golden Flavor Topping”.
But I digress.
If I can’t get real butter on my popcorn at the movies, I can at least smuggle in my own bottle of BaconSalt. Popcorn needs “something”, and I agree with Chuck H. - everything would be better with bacon.
4 Sarah Grace // Aug 11, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Um, I know at least three people who will flip out when I tell them that this exists… my husband being one of them.
I love your blog!
5 Thank You So Good Readers! | // Aug 17, 2007 at 11:36 am
[...] but the schedule for next week is already jam packed. Next week expect to see my full review of Bacon Salt, a full recap of my food and beer experiences in Vermont, as well as even more funny food videos [...]
6 Extreme Mortman » Kosher Bacon - Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Take Politics Seriously Again // Aug 19, 2007 at 12:12 am
7 Bacon Salt is Hip to the Series of Tubes | // Aug 28, 2007 at 2:28 pm
[...] previously wrote about Bacon Salt after discovering it just before this blog launched. Justin and Dave were kind [...]
8 Bacon Salt: The Review | // Aug 31, 2007 at 2:34 pm
[...] I discovered Bacon Salt right as I was launching this blog. I previously wrote about it to both critique the concept and praise their online marketing strategy. The creators of Bacon Salt were kind enough to provide [...]
9 Aaron // Sep 20, 2007 at 4:16 pm
A friend at work posted the baconsalt.com link two weeks ago and he ordered a bottle just because it sounded funny. We tried it on a few things and then I knew I had to have my own. I ordered Friday (9/14) and got it on Monday (9/17)! I couldn’t believe the speed of BaconSalt shipping! And I couldn’t believe how good it was. Even my wife started eating it right out of the bottle. I’d even snort a line of BaconSalt if only I could get someone to hold the camera without laughing. I’m blogging every BaconSalt experience I have. Lots of people have suggested ways to use BaconSalt and I plan to try every one of them. See also: http://iheartbaconsalt.supertucker.com
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