Why? Because of their “Milky Way 2 to Go” bar. What is that you ask? Why it’s the same as a king size Milky Way, except it’s split into two parts!
Hey Milky Way, this just in: IT’S A FREAKIN CANDY BAR!
Since when is a candy bar NOT “to Go”? Unless you are in the airport duty free shop and buying a Toblerone bar the size of your forearm, every candy bar in the world is “to go.” Oh, and by the way Milky Way, really cute using “2″ as well as “To”…you guys are adorable.
I know, I’m bitter, but I just read about this in today’s Washington Post. Fortunately, the article’s author, Monica Hesse, has the same level of skepticism I have. Hesse mocks the concept behind the candy bar, joking that the internal monologue of someone at a vending machine might sound like this:
“I would love to buy this Milky Way right now, but I am not sitting at a table and am entirely without knife and fork! If only someone would invent a candy bar that did not require such elaborate preparations for consumption!“
You know what else can easily be eaten on-the-go? An apple. Or a banana. In fact, I see people eating them all the time. But wait…how could they have possibly figured out to eat those foods while on-the-go? After all, there is no label printed across bananas that screams out “bananas to go!” Could it be that people figured out what foods they could easily eat on-the-go by…gasp…using their own common sense?
So I implore you Mars Candy Company. Stop the absurdity. End it now before it goes any further. Think about the poor kids who, thanks to your over-labeling, may never again be able to determine on their own what is appropriate to eat on-the-go and what is not. Do it for the children Mars, the children.