I’m going to start this rant by saying something that people need to acknowledge, but seem instinctively unwilling to do: Pepperoni pizza is not that good. I mean, yeah, it’s good, but it’s not THAT good. Seriously, it’s not. If you think it is, it’s time to get over it, and get over yourself. Wake your boring ass taste buds up, there are many delicious pizza options out there, and the pizza world doesn’t revolve around pepperoni.
If pizza is high quality, a mere slice of cheese is delicious. If pizza is mediocre, I understand the need to add toppings. But I have news for you pepperoni: you ain’t all that and a bag of chips. Pepperoni, while ok, is simply NOT good enough to have earned it’s place as the default pizza order of choice on merit alone. Hell no. I believe it has earned that place through process of elimination, unadventurous American taste buds and dumb luck. It’s cheap, it’s meaty, it’s salty, and it adds additional flavor to an otherwise bland pizza. But you know what? So does sausage. But sausage just doesn’t look good in photos like pepperoni does, so pizza places don’t advertise the shit out of it.
Seriously, at what point did we decide that when a group of people are ordering pizza, that pepperoni, along with cheese, is the default choice for the group? The answer: a long ass time ago. When I was a kid and you had a pizza party, you ordered cheese and pepperoni. No other options were considered. No one ever thought to question the conventional wisdom by saying, “hey, how about a veggie pizza?” or “wouldn’t sausage be better than pepperoni?” or dare I even suggest it, but, “how about a pineapple or Hawaiian pizza?’
When you are ordering pizza with a group of 8 people, and someone says, “ok, lets get two cheese and two pepperoni”, do you say to yourself, “perfect! Just what I wanted”? Or do you secretly think “well I don’t want to mess up the order, but if I had my choice I would prefer X, Y or Z instead”? Well guess what? You aren’t 12 anymore. You are allowed to eat pizza besides pepperoni, even advocate for the ordering of a pizza besides pepperoni.
Here’s the dirty little secret of pizza ordering: while you are thinking that you would prefer something besides cheese or pepperoni, so are at least 50% of the other people in the group. But frequently, no one says anything because no one wants to rock the boat or be seen as “difficult.” This probably stems from a time (our childhood, the 70′s, 80′s, 90′s etc) when there were fewer vegetarians out there, almost no vegans, and fewer interesting topping choices to choose from.
So I am here to declare: if I could have my way, the era of pepperoni pizza would be over. OVER. With your help we can knock pepperoni pizza from its undeserved throne as the go-to pizza option after cheese. Yes, with your willingness to speak out, and a little elbow grease, we can end the tyranny of pepperoni pizza and return it to its rightful place: off the “default pizza” pedestal and back onto the list of general topping choices with everyone else, which frankly, is where it belongs. Pepperoni pizza is not special, it is not above criticism and it is not deserving of protected status.
75 responses so far ↓
1 Shawn // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Pepperoni is awesome. Don’t be a snob.
2 Matt // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Italian sausage is clearly superior in every way! Why hasn’t the world seen this?
3 Eick // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Shawn – I’m saying pepperoni should be put on equal footing with other toppings.
I submit that it is the pepperoni lovers that are being snobs by insisting we succumb to their BS status quo of pepperoni as the go-to choice for group orders.
4 Youppi // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:43 pm
you want to make a case for sausage and veggie, that’s fine. hey, even I love a good peppers and onions slice. But Hawaiian?!? c’mon eick!
Hawaiian can not, nor will it EVER replace pepperoni as a staple “group pizza”. I don’t want ham chunks on my pizza. I don’t want fruit on my pizza, and I certainly don’t want both on it at the same time. You know what that equals? Me eating the other half of “boring” plain slices.
You think the pepperoni era is over? Pepperoni is America’s favorite topping, (36% of ALL pizza orders). American’s eat approximately 251,770,000 pounds of Pepperoni per year!!
Just think of a world without it, and I think you’ll be ranting to a different tune…
5 Will // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I don’t know if pepperoni is necessarily superior just because it’s the default. In many ways, a default option is usually inferior to more elaborate options…or at least it’s considered the status quo.
I’m all for more exciting pizzas like Bertucci’s Silano or Sporkie (two of my favorite fancy pizzas), but let’s admit it…you don’t order pepperoni pizzas because they’re so damn good. They’re just a lot easier to order than a half Hawaiian, quarter sausage, quarter veggie, plus a half extra cheese, half meat lovers. We’re just lazy and/or stupid. It’s the same reason we burn the roof of our mouths on hot pizza, because we don’t want to wait or haven’t learned from our prior burns.
6 Eick // Sep 17, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Who says you are forced to eat Hawaiian?
And if you get so indignant about the thought of eating Hawaiian pizza, maybe that’s how some people feel when forced to have pepperoni?
All I’m asking for is a little equity here. Pepperoni should be up for debate like any other topping is. It doesn’t deserve to be some “golden god” of pizza toppings that is above criticism or reproach.
7 george // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I fully agree. Given the opportunity, I choose anything but pepperoni. It’s really not that great. Sausage IS vastly superior.
I’m proud to say that I haven’t had a slice of pepperoni pizza in quite some time now. Someone get me a good slice of Margherita.
8 LivitLuvit // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I concur. In a perfect world, all pizza is created equally and none should be discriminated against. But this is America, dear, and unfortunately, the divide that runs deep between cheap salty meats and vegetables is very real and seemingly irreparable.
9 WC // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Why do you hate America? Any red-blooded ‘merican should enjoy gods, guns, and cured porcine goodness.
Pizza without pepperoni? That’s not change we can believe in.
10 Grimace // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Pepperoni Pizza is the default choice for 1 reason and 1 reason only:
America loves Alliteration.
11 aaronichi // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I never get what I want either way, as am actually a fan of anchovies…
12 PhillyBop // Sep 17, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Who are you kidding, cheese pizza and pepperoni pizza will always be the staple of party pizzas. Why? It’s simple, caters to pretty much everybody, and it’s really hard to screw up taking down an order of those two pizzas.
Someone suggests sausage, there will be two people in the room saying that sausage on pizza is too spicy. You put onions on Pizza, you will have 5 people who don’t like onions. When someone doesn’t want to eat meat, they get to eat the cheese pizza, which is also good because you don’t have to buy a whole pizza for the two non-meat eaters in the room.
Granted, I prefer a combination (pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms) pizza, not everybody that I’m eating with likes mushrooms. I just avoid any kind of conflict by ordering the two pizzas that can’t go wrong.
I wish you luck on your crusade, but I won’t be expecting pepperoni pizzas to be coming off of advertisements any time soon.
13 rossitron // Sep 17, 2008 at 4:14 pm
i may not have the most sophisti-ma-cated palette in the world, but i do enjoy a wide variety of tastes in my food. however, pepperoni pizza is objectively good. it’s spicy, it’s salty, it’s meaty (i know it’s not a taste), and it is consistently good, at that.
i like other kinds of pizzas. i’m always open to alternative orders. true, pepperoni is the go-to order without much thought. but this doesn’t make pepperoni a bad choice, as your rant suggests when you allude to the 12-year-old-ness of the phenomenon.
to illustrate, veggie pizzas often have mediocre quality ingredients. that’s a fact. if pepperoni is cheap, at least its tasty. the veggies that come on your average veggie pizza are soggy, thin, and usually somewhat tasteless. don’t tell me my choice to order pepperoni is uninspired. at least it will be tasty.
if you want more interesting topping choices, or if you want to stick with a delicious, high quality cheese pizza, you do that. i support that and i will ask for a slice.
i am a staunch supporter of pepperoni. i don’t presume to tell people to like pepperoni. i don’t have to. pepperoni deserves to be defended and, more importantly, ordered.
14 BS // Sep 17, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Agreed! ‘ronis are fine – FINE…but we can do so much better. I would prefer the default meat pizza be sausage any day – or how ’bout the pizzarias get more creative – prosciutto? salami? no that’s some good porky pizza
15 Anonymous // Sep 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
“when their were fewer vegetarians out there, almost no vegans, and fewer interesting topping choices to choose from”
it was the best of times… it was the worst of times.
16 Jeff // Sep 17, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I’m on board. And while we’re at it – F fresh mozzarella as a pizza topping. It’s not appetizing nor does it make the pizza particularly attractive to eat.
17 jdeuel // Sep 17, 2008 at 6:51 pm
if you’re eating anything but pepperoni you’re doing it wrong
18 Why Pepperoni Pizza Sucks | Slice Pizza Blog // Sep 17, 2008 at 8:49 pm
[...] Eick over at the blog So Good has a great rant about pepperoni. Long story short, he don’t like it. Here’s why: If pizza is high quality, a mere [...]
19 James // Sep 17, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Canadian bacon and spicy Italian sausage … THIS should be the default pizza!
20 Aaron // Sep 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm
What a food snob! Just because pepperoni is not your style, does not make it inferior. That is just your personal taste. People swear by caviar, I hate it. Some people eat snails. I wouldn’t eat them in a million years. I eat to get through the day when I’m hungry. Fortunately, you have enough to eat to be a food snob. I pray that is always the case.
21 Serious Eats: A Food Blog and Community // Sep 18, 2008 at 12:06 am
[...] Eick over at the blog So Good has a great rant about pepperoni. Long story short, he don’t like it. Here’s why: If pizza is high quality, a mere [...]
22 Eick // Sep 18, 2008 at 11:04 am
“What a food snob! Just because pepperoni is not your style, does not make it inferior.” – Aaron
Who said anything about pepperoni being inferior? All I said is it doesn’t deserve its protected status and should be treated the same as other toppings – topping equality is what I advocate.
If I want all toppings treated equal, but you think one topping (pepperoni) should maintain its favored status, how does that make me, and not YOU the food snob?
23 Montana Eats // Sep 18, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I don’t really like pizza, other then my own home made pizza, but I remember a place in Amsterdam that had a wonderful pizza with ham, peppers and banana. So delicious.
24 The Dave Dameshek Message Board -> Pizza Toppings // Sep 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm
[...] I saw this today and couldn't help but think of Dave. Enjoy! http://www.sogoodblog.com/2008/09/17/no-i-…im12-years-old/ [...]
25 Pepperoni // Sep 19, 2008 at 10:29 am
What did I ever do to you, Eick?
What did I ever to to you…
26 James // Sep 19, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Nothing better than a hamburger mushroom pizza. I know it’s kinda plain, but I can’t help it, that’s just the way to go. When it’s just me, that is. When there’s more than me, the order is usually a pepperoni and meat lovers, or pepperoni and barbeque, or pepperoni and Supreme, or pepperoni and Hawaiian… you get where this is going. Pepperoni is the default because 99 percent of the pizza eaters that eat meat like it. When most everyone likes it, it becomes the default.
27 So Good in Washington Post Express | So Good // Sep 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm
[...] Mr./Mrs. Blog Log editor guy/gal! And thanks for deeming my posts, in particular my rants (about pepperoni pizza in this case), worthy of a Blog Log [...]
28 Express Night Out | Blog Log // Sep 19, 2008 at 8:18 pm
[...] need to add toppings. But I have news for you, pepperoni: You ain’t all that and a bag of chips.” Sogoodblog.com doesn’t understand why so many people default to pepperoni as a pizza topping [...]
29 cary // Sep 20, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Pepperoni is obnoxious. Let’s see, you try to bite through a pepperoni and you end up pulling the entire piece AND a lot of extra cheese. And that’s the BEST CASE SCENARIO. Usually you’ll end up pulling off almost the entire cheese/pepperoni topping when meaning to take a single bite.
Usually I have to wait for the slices to cool a little bit, which of course I hate. Who wants that? I like my pizza steaming hot.
Other than that, I’d say eat it with a fork and knife. And that, my friends, sucks.
30 Hillary // Sep 23, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I actually grew up in a household where we didn’t order pepperoni pizza so I never had this problem, but I see your point, pineapple…black olives…yellow pepper…tomatoes…mushrooms, all those ingredients are amazing. Don’t miss out!
31 James // Sep 25, 2008 at 1:46 pm
What an idiot you are. Pepperoni is tops. You never know what kind of junk you’re getting with sausage, like the nasty chewy or hard bits – YUCK. Pepperoni is good and it’s always good.
32 Accidental Hedonist - The Mediocre Pepperoni Pizza? // Sep 27, 2008 at 1:34 pm
[...] Eick over at So Good had a post a week ago that said….well, this: Pepperoni pizza is not that good. I mean, yeah, it’s good, but it’s not THAT good. [...]
33 Cuteculturechick // Oct 4, 2008 at 9:05 am
I 100% agree. Pepperoni = ick! Give me a quality multi-cheese pizza!
34 Nate // Oct 8, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I dunno, whenever I order a pizza, I feel like I NEED to get pepperoni (in tandem with a more exotic option, perhaps). I feel as every slice I eat that is NOT pepperoni is an opportunity missed. Also, whenever I’m trying out a new pizza joint, the pepperoni is always a great barometer as to the quality of said joint. I know what a good pepperoni slice should taste like and go from there.
35 Your page is now on StumbleUpon! // Oct 19, 2008 at 8:47 pm
[...] Your page is on StumbleUpon [...]
36 Pizza Restaurant Review Blog » Blog Archive » The Year That Was: The Top 8 Posts on Slice // Dec 30, 2008 at 2:46 am
[...] Why Pepperoni Pizza Sucks: We reblog a snippet of a So Good blog rant, and Slice readers go nuts debating the merits of the spicy [...]
37 So Good Blog/News Round-Up 12/31/08 | So Good // Dec 31, 2008 at 6:31 pm
[...] reports their Top 8 posts of 2008. My pepperoni pizza rant makes the [...]
38 Smagu // Jan 2, 2009 at 11:22 pm
what i want to know is, why dont’ more people accept eggs on their pizza? it’s meat!!!
39 So Good's Top Stories of 2008 | So Good // Jan 8, 2009 at 2:23 pm
[...] No I Do Not Want to Order Pepperoni Pizza – Do I Look Like I’m 12 Years Old? [...]
40 steve // Jan 8, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Here in New York (meaning New York City, that is) – the default for pizza is what we call a plain slice or regular slice: cheese. And we mostly get pizza by the slice unless we’re going out as a group to a restaurant. But for most of us who grab pizza at lunch or on the run, make it a plain slice.
And BTW – adding meat to pizza is definitely not the way it was done in Italy and by the early immigrants. Pizza was poor people’s food, and meat was just too expensive. So, cheese it is.
41 Bethany // Jan 8, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Amen for this post! I loathe pepperoni. True I am a vegetarian now, but even before then- I think it started in like 8th grade I realized how much pepperoni sucked and actually kind of grossed me out. The best pizza I have ever have- from a national chain at least is the Donatos veggie pizza. It is a complete masterpiece.
42 Ryan // Jan 8, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Cheese and pepperoni will always be the “default” pizza in America. It’s rare that I ever get it but plain tastes are more common than “outside of the box” tastes. I’m big on BBQ Chicken pizza and friends have always been turned off at the idea at first….but I have recruited many converts.
43 Nathan Logan // Jan 9, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I could not agree more.
44 Susan // Jan 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Family pizza gatherings (in-laws) were always 6 pepperoni pizzas for the gang. Why not get 6 different ones? Ask around for suggestions, Pop. But no, just make it simple. Simple and boring.
But I don’t hold a grudge, no sirree. 40 years of boring pepperoni pizzas. Arrrggghhh!
45 Mike // Jan 15, 2009 at 1:40 pm
It’s a pepperoni revolt. I’m in.
46 Amber // Jan 24, 2009 at 10:54 am
In Australia, we don’t even HAVE pepperoni.
Doesn’t affect me much, being a veggie-tarian and all
For me, nothing beats a mushroom-garlic pizza!
*drools*
47 Bill // Feb 15, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Death to vegetarians.
48 Tim // Mar 12, 2009 at 2:46 pm
i say if you dont want peperony on your precious pizza then dont friggen order it. i love peperoni but i would rather eat it with mushrooms and olives but i always get PEPERONY on every dam last slice because its friggen tasty damit
49 Andy // Mar 18, 2009 at 2:45 pm
If pepperoni pizza were an NBA player, it would be Shaquille O’Neal circa 2009. VERY well-known, but just decent. If sausage pizza were an NBA player, it would be a combination of Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard and Jesus.
50 Raiders757 // Mar 29, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Pepperoni owns you, man!!! LOL!
I do agree to a certain extent. For a pizza to be truly great, it must be as such with no toppings at all. Everything else is a bonus, and it’s your right to put what you want on your pizza.
I love pepperoni pizza, but I also love a great plain cheese pizza as well. I don’t mind other topping s as well, but more than tow, and it starts to ruin the pizza.
51 Raiders757 // Mar 29, 2009 at 8:40 pm
@ Cary
“et’s see, you try to bite through a pepperoni and you end up pulling the entire piece AND a lot of extra cheese.”
I make my own pizza from scratch. If this happens to you, your not ordering your pizza from a quality shop.
I slice my own pepperoni, and slice at a thickness that will give when bit into. I never have the problem you describe when making my own pepperoni pizza. Presliced pepperoni is the culprit in your case, and this more than likely means your shop doesn’t use the freshest toppings it can get.
52 TheGoldenPoo // May 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Do a google image search for “sausage pizza”, see which pizza looks more appetizing, any of the turd droplet pizzas or that pepperoni covered pizza in your rant.
53 Eick // May 5, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Exactly Golden Poo. That’s one of the things I made sure to note in my rant – pepperoni simply looks more appealing than sausage visually, which makes it easier to promote and advertise, thus fueling higher sales.
54 Cary // May 5, 2009 at 3:56 pm
@Raiders: Look, we’re talking about the great fallback pizzas people ORDER. Not make by hand. Huge difference. I wish everyone hand-cut their pepperoni, but they don’t. That’s a pipe dream, friend.
And it’s called a small sample size. Because the pizzas you make for yourself at home aren’t susceptible to the “pepperoni yank” doesn’t mean the thousands of pizzas chains are low quality.
Millions of people eat at Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, and Little Caesar’s(?). Does that make them peasants who don’t know the difference between good and bad pizza? Because that’s what you’re getting at.
55 Embracing Mediocrity Since 2002 - // May 28, 2009 at 7:20 am
[...] FINALLY, someone feels as I do about pepperoni.mood: amused [...]
56 jebo // Jul 9, 2009 at 8:01 pm
i love pizza.
57 Lis // Jul 18, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@Smagu ..eggs are NOT meat. They’re protein, but not meat at all. Kthx.
58 Betty // Jul 20, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Big Sausage Pizzas is definitely the way to go.
“I don’t want fruit on my pizza”
Tomato is a fruit.
59 amber // Jul 27, 2009 at 4:24 pm
what the fuck? you sound so retarded. if you don’t like things on your fucking pizza, then don’t get it! shut the fuck up and let people order what they want.
60 Eick // Jul 27, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Exactly Amber. People should shut the fuck up and let people order what they want instead of always insisting that pepperoni be the default ordering choice. You have proved my point brilliantly.
61 Waydo from South Clare F.C. // Aug 28, 2009 at 2:57 am
Pepperoni pizza is a true winner dickhead ! Have you ever ordered Pepperoni with garlic, chilli, pineapple or herb. Pepperoni is an important icon of Italian food and is a great meat basis for pizza , pasta etc ! Pepperoni is great ! I love pepperoni and its varieties !
62 Danielle // Apr 1, 2010 at 1:29 pm
“Hawaiian can not, nor will it EVER replace pepperoni as a staple “group pizza—
Actually, in Australia, Hawaiian pizza is probably the most popular. Pepperoni is hella popular too, but I personally don’t like it. It’s so…grisle-y.
63 Pat // Apr 26, 2010 at 12:30 pm
To Eick: Blasphemer! As an American of Sicilian descent, I take personal umbrage at your insults. I challenge you to a duel. Three-foot pepperoni sticks at dawn. If I win, we both eat every crumb of our sticks. If you win, I just eat mine. either way it’s a win-win situation for me. Down with all vegetarians and vegans. Pass laws to make meat-eating mandatory!
64 Pat // Apr 26, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Danielle: That’s what makes it so good. You are obviously not of Sicilian blood.
65 chris // Jun 13, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Pepperoni sticks are delicious. Just like Ricks said; ” HOLY FUCK THATS SOME GOOD PEPPERONI!” .
66 Nicolas R // Nov 7, 2010 at 3:41 am
I agree; pepperoni is not that great. Pizza with tomatoes, oregano and extra cheese is good. Bacon and pineapple is good too. Garlic is good. Bacon and dried prunes is so good. Sausage is good.
67 Jason // Nov 14, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Wow, a lot of people have thoughts on this. But yes, pepperoni is just salty and fatty and brings a pizza down in my opinion.
68 Ham, Pre-Cooked Bacon & Mini Pepperoni | So Good // Dec 18, 2010 at 3:04 am
[...] mini-pepperoni’s. Ugh. My complaints about the excess popularity of pepperoni pizza have been well noted on this blog, and these mini-pepperoni’s were basically just mini grease balls, lacking the [...]
69 iLOVE_PIZZA // Dec 12, 2011 at 6:39 pm
I’m mad azz hell iwrote a bigazz paragraph and then it didn’t work when isubmitted it -.- iwas gonna tell you OFFFF on how you hating on that delicious pepperonii , seriously go get a job ………….
70 Jenny // Jun 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm
i hate pepperoni. i hate spicy things so i always get cheese even though i would like to try other things once in a while
71 Brian // Jun 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Pepperoni on pizza is like mustard on pastrami, all right? It’s the way the world does it, it’s the number-one, go-to toppping. Eat your pizza any way you want, and put mayonaise on your pastrami, too, it’s a free country, but lay off the pepperoni, man, cuz Ricky’s right, holy fuck that’s good pepperoni!
72 This Blog Sucks Ass // Jul 28, 2012 at 5:25 am
What is the point of this article? I mean it’s really stupid to criticize ordering choices when I’m sure you have money and vocal cords and can order what you want. What the fuck do you care if strangers on the internet eat Pepperoni Pizza or dog’s testicles for that matter. The first comment is right, you sound like a snob, and over absolutely nothing.
73 Michelle // Aug 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm
I’m 15 and I must say my favorite pizza is Pepperoni. I like meat lovers, with the ham and sausage and PEPPERONI. But thats a bout it. I don’t like cheese pizza or any others. Btw your rant is pointless.. If I like Pepperoni pizza and think that it’s the best in the world, so be it. Just because you don’t think its all that in a bag of chip doesn’t mean I don’t.. Just so you know, Pepperoni is the only thing I get when pizza shopping. So this was a waste of your typing skills, and mine, to put something about pizza that you think isn’t good enough to be called the best.. Just so you know, that is.. (No offense intend in my words.) Domo arigato gozaimasu(Thank you very much in japanese) {Bows}
74 Top So Good Posts of 2012 | So Good // Jan 4, 2013 at 12:42 pm
[...] scored in the top 10 for traffic on the year. My It’s Time to Shut Up About Cupcakes & No I Do Not Want to Order Pepperoni Pizza – Do I Look Like I’m 12 Years Old? rants were written in 2008, yet still proved to be a big draw. When it came to things I wrote in [...]
75 Jay // Apr 25, 2013 at 5:20 pm
Its not that big of a deal. Don’t order something you don’t like. Period. How long did it take you to write this? If you spent more than a half hour on it you have no life. You must be big and fat to carry on a topic so stupid as pizza toppings. No one really cares what you think of pizza.
Leave a Comment