I love Sonic. Every time their ads come on TV, I find myself drooling at the unique food and drink combinations advertised as part of their extensive menu. Fresh fruit limeades? Tater tots with cheese? Sandwiches served on Texas Toast? Delicious. Sign me up.
There’s just one problem with my “loving” Sonic: I’ve never actually eaten at one. In fact, I swear to you, I don’t think I’ve ever actually even SEEN a Sonic. For me, they are the Abominable Snowman of the fast food world - each passing glimpse or rumor I hear tempts me to pursue this elusive fast food beast. But no matter how much grainy Sonic video footage I see or reports I receive of where the nearest Sonic is, I never actually get close enough to one for it to be in my grasp.
No big deal right? There are hundreds, if not thousands of regional chains that I have never even heard of, that I’m also missing out on. But here’s the difference: THOSE CHAINS ARE NOT ADVERTISING ON NATIONAL TV. Each and every Sonic ad I see on TV is like a miniature punch to the balls from a hyper active 4 year old. It’s as if Sonic corporation themselves are saying to me, “Hey Jon, doesn’t this look good? It does, doesn’t it? Well good luck finding one! Hahahahaha.”
How dare you Sonic. And for those who think I am a Johnny Come Lately to the Sonic curiousity/anger train, quite the contrary. This has been a serious issue for me since about age 12. I grew up in Vermont, about 90 minutes from the Canadian border, and remember seeing Sonic ads as a kid. All through my childhood, I assumed Sonic was a Canadian chain. How else to explain the fact that I always saw their ads but had never actually been to one?
So where are these elusive Sonics? Well a map from their website shows they are heavily concentrated in the South and Southwest.
Notice anything about the map that jumps out? How about the fact that there are ZERO Sonic’s, even to this day, anywhere in New England or New York? WTF Sonic? Why are you advertising in New York or New England if you don’t have any stores there? Even now, living in Washington, DC, I am bombarded with your ads, but lacking a car to get far enough out to the suburbs, I STILL haven’t even been able to try Sonic.
Trust me, my desire to try Sonic is not for a lack of effort. In 2003, my girlfriend at the time and I drove cross country. From New York to Chicago to Kansas City then to Los Angeles. Sonic was very much top of mind on that trip - if I had noticed one anywhere near a meal time, I planned on being all over it. Surely on a cross country drive I stumbled across a Sonic while hungry right? Well, on the leg of the trip from Saratoga to Chicago, no Sonics.
From Chicago to Kansas City, there are 7 Sonic’s, mostly concentrated around KC. But did I manage to see any of them? Nope.
Kansas City to the Grand Canyon turns out to be a treasure trove of Sonics, but once again, I noticed none.
So yeah. 10 years of tempting ads, a cross country drive and still no Sonic for me. And for those of you wondering, yes, I did take the time to plug the results from the Sonic store locater into Mapquest. Um, yeah, because I’m just THAT into bitching about Sonic. You have no idea the mental anguish this has caused me over the years. I want to roll into a Sonic and order every single item on the menu, stuff my face, and roll up to the window to order more.
Sonic! Why must you torture me so? When you started advertising your tater tots with chili and cheese, it was if every time I turned on the television I was being waterboarded by Sonic. Have you no sense of decency Sonic? Isn’t showing these ads to people who can’t find a Sonic a blatant violation of the Geneva Convention against torture? Doesn’t the constitution prevent cruel and unusual punishment?
To make things worse, your witty commercials featuring improv-ed banter between two people in a car are actually GOOD ads! Arrgggggggh! Good ads, delicious menu and I still haven’t been able to try you!
Here’s the deal Sonic: I’m not asking you to stop making delicious burgers or asking your food scientists to stop making interesting creations. Goodness no. From all appearances, you are doing the Lord’s work over there. But please, there are tens of thousands of people out there just like me, and I am speaking on their behalf, as their voice: STOP RUNNING NATIONAL ADS. Until there is a Sonic readily available to each and every person, north, south, east and west, it is simply un-American for you to torture people by running commercials in regions where there are no Sonics.
So Sonic, unless you want to send a professional car service to take me the 30 or 40 miles to the closest Sonic to me in Virginia, I beg of you: end the torture. END THE TORTURE NOW. Stop running national ads, at least on a temporary basis, until I get a chance to finally sample your delicious menu.
Sincerely,
Committee to End National Sonic Advertising Until Eick Has Been to One (CENSA UEHBO)
Stumble it!
20 responses so far ↓
1 Victoria // Aug 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Heehee! This is so great to read. Why?
Because the exact same thing happened to me.
Sonic began advertising on our local Pittsburgh channels really heavily a few years ago. It drove my family nuts. As you did, we mapquested the crap out of the nearest Sonic loations hundreds of miles away. We were defeated. It was tragic.
But then, all of a sudden, they just began springing up quick as can be all around the city. Now we have two locations, one of which being a half mile away from my work. We frequent the happy hour for half price slushes.
So don’t fret, dearest. A Sonic is surely in your sights!
2 Lemmonex // Aug 7, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Before I even read this, I looked at the photo and thought “Is that a burger? On TEXAS TOAST? Sign me up!” Eerie.
My friends are also obsessed with driving to Sonic to get some cheesy tot goodness. many a drunken conversation has lead to us contemplating a road trip.
3 William Murray // Aug 7, 2008 at 2:40 pm
There’s a Sonic on the way to Ocean City (or maybe it was Dewey Beach). All I know is we made a point of stopping on the way there and back, but it wasn’t really out of the way or anything.
4 Toby // Aug 7, 2008 at 2:43 pm
HOLY CRAP, I could not agree with you more on this one! I absolutely love their commercials - I’ll often pause the fast-forward on my TiVo to watch them - and their food seems equally amazing.
Now, I did happen to eat at a Sonic ONE TIME while driving back from the Outer Banks. It’s on the main road to OBX - you can’t miss it. Unfortunately, I didn’t know enough about the chain to really appreciate that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Failing to order a Sonic Blast has been my life’s greatest regret.
5 Aragonesque // Aug 7, 2008 at 3:03 pm
A challenge, my dear Eick. Make an impact for your fellow Washingtonians! Time to author a strongly-worded cry to:
Christi Woodworth
Director of External Communications
SONIC, America’s Drive-In
(405) 225-5602
christi.woodworth@sonicdrivein.com
6 Zenne // Aug 7, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I didn’t realize that Sonics were so coveted, having grown up in Texas.
There are approximately nine locations within twenty minutes of where I sit! The closest one is a one-two minute drive. Tops.
7 Jeffrey // Aug 7, 2008 at 3:12 pm
coming from new york, and living in phila, I feel your pain. the sonic ads are always on tv, always when you’re hungry and always when there isn’t a single sonic within a 1 hour drive. Wouldn’t they save money by only advertising in the markets in which they are visible?
8 Youppi // Aug 7, 2008 at 4:06 pm
you’ve nailed it again, eick! commercials are good, food looks good. probably see a commercial for sonic multiple times, daily. the closest sonic to me? over 60 miles away.
but I long to try the new “fried ice cream blast”…
sounds soooooooooooooooooo good.
9 leisha // Aug 7, 2008 at 5:44 pm
what about the ocean water “cool, blue and tangy with a hint of coconut” mmmmmm.
10 Mattraw // Aug 7, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Well, I’m from Tennessee, so I’ve been to Sonic. A number of times. Its closest relative is probably the DQ of yore, where they made suspect chicken sandwiches in addition to Blizzards and whatnot.
Anyway, the ice cream/dessert stuff is pretty solid, and there are lots of options. The foodstuffs are pretty unremarkable, but huge points for featuring a grilled cheese sandwich. Such a simple thing, I’m surprised no other fast food chains have jumped on it.
11 steve // Aug 7, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Maybe it’s just because I grew up with Sonics everywhere around me (I’m from the South), but I find those commercials insufferable. They’re almost bad enough to make me NOT want to eat Sonic (but that’d just be silly). I’ll settle for just wanting to punch those car people in the goddamn face.
12 Christine // Aug 8, 2008 at 8:53 am
OMG- I’VE HAD THIS SAME CONVERSATION LIKE 100 TIMES! haha My dad text me the other day (a big feat for him) to say “Wildwood, NJ. Sonic Now Open. Yeay!” We can’t wait to go. After all of their ads, their food better be amazing. I’ll report back!
13 Amen! // Aug 8, 2008 at 10:03 am
Oh my, those commercials….and the nearest one to me is 30 miles away, and it’s unlikely ever to be in my normal path, or even on vacation, I’m with you, quit torturing us with those commercials or get some stores open in my neighborhood!!!!!!!
14 BS // Aug 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm
GOOD CALL. I have loved sonic since their “don’t bring that weak tot action” ad during the NCAA basketball tournament. I live in NYC and have never seen one either.
where are they???
15 Saj // Aug 9, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Dude, there’s on in Christiansburg, VA…come down for a Tech game, and we’ll hit it up!!
Until then, there’s always that Checkers in NE DC…But, it’s just not the same.
16 dani // Aug 11, 2008 at 1:13 pm
We should start a petition. I’m in Northern/Central NJ and the closest Sonic to me is 45 miles away. Those commericials piss me off. Damn you Sonic for making me hungry.
17 Anonymous // Aug 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm
I’m waiting for the follow-up. The detailed response for when you actually experience a Sonic.
18 Drew // Aug 11, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Well that’s what you call superb (but evil) marketing.
They advertise in places where the restaurants aren’t at so that people start demanding one in their location.
By the way, There’s none in Wisconsin, but I went to the one(s) in South Dakota and their one burger that’s topped with an onion ring is FANTASTIC
19 Eick // Aug 11, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Anonymous, I’m all for the follow-up once I experience Sonic.
Sonic, what say you? Hire a driver to take me to a Sonic, film me eating at a Sonic for the first time, and bam, you’ve got yourself an awesome web video/TV ad.
20 Capital Spice // Aug 13, 2008 at 3:23 pm
It took a trip from DC to Colorado, but I finally got to experience the glory that is Sonic this past weekend.
It was just about as good as I had hoped - Elizabeth tried the Cherry Limeade, leaving me a bit flustered as I stared at the countless combinations of beverages to figure out what I would get. Finally I settled on a Lemon Berry Slush. We paired them up with an order of cheddar cheese tots - good, but they didn’t blow us away.
And now I can finally say that I’ve been to a Sonic. I’m kinda glad they’re not all that close to DC - I could see myself making semi-regular trips if they were.
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