The posting below is from a diary at the liberal site Daily Kos by a user named JeffLieber .Â It’s a reaction to the news that a Dunkin Donuts ad was pulled after Michelle Malkin complained Rachael Ray was wearing a keffiyah in the commercial. I made a couple small edits to the original, but I found it amusing, and thought I would share it with you.
BREAKING: Rachael Ray strip searched at commercial reshoot.
Worried that Rachael Ray might wear “terrorist undergarments” similar to the “terrorist keffiyah” she wore in the original version of her online Dunkin Donuts commercial (see above), conservatives, led by Michelle Malkin stormed a film set and insisted the TV chef submit herself to a full and complete cavity search in order to ensure that the Islamists not win.
After the inspection, guard dogs were brought in to protect against the possibility that roadside-costumers might attack Ms. Ray and somehow fit her with a jaunty “terrorist skirt” or even an “off-the-shoulder terrorist halter”, which, beyond emboldening the enemy… is so VERY last season.
Unfortunately instead of protecting Ms. Ray, the canines got addled and started to bark at the naked and now addled coffee and donut spokeswoman, causing her to cower in the corner of the room.
The Malkinian-fervor got so out of hand at one point that two fans doused one of the production assistants in kerosine and set her aflame when they mistook a tabouli recipe for a passage from the Koran.
In the end, the conservatives, sure Ms. Ray’s writhing was a signal for an imminent terrorist attack, huddled to discuss ways of protecting themselves, the donut franchise, and children everywhere.
After a long deliberation they settled on a plan to allow Ms. Ray to film the advertisement as long as A) there were no actual pastries seen on screen B) she would agree to be clothed completely in black and obscure her face.
Once the conservative’s demands had been met, the commercial resumed, though a Dunkin Donuts’ spokesperson question whether or not the advertisement will be suitable for broadcast.
Michelle Malkin proudly announced that the brave conservative movement had won another battle in the war against terrifying inanimate objects.