In these dog days of summer, I will do anything to beat the heat.  Well, almost anything.

That important caveat is a direct result of a trip I took last weekend.  Driving back to town from a nearby swimming hole, with the sun scorching everything in its path, I pulled over at a convenience store in order to quench my thirst.  As usual, I carefully perused the glass-enclosed cooler, hoping to find just the right beverage.  Hmmm, Gatorade G2 Rain Lime?… or… wow, I haven’t had an ice-cold Yoo-Hoo in a month of Sundays.  But as my eyes keep exploring the myriad offerings, I got to something that I surely thought was a mirage, or maybe just an optical illusion.  It couldn’t be… could it?

I opened the case, seemingly breaking an ice crust like Ernest Shackleton’s footsteps to the south pole.  What I found defied explanation.  It was a beer – I recognized “Budweiser,” but it also said “Clamato” – and I know what that is too.  But in the same can?  As I looked around for the secret cameras to reveal this tragic scene, none appeared.  This was no joke.  This product actually exists.

Yes, beer + tomato/clam juice.

Who wouldn’t want to crack open a brew to find their favorite mediocre American lager accompanied by undertones of old seafood? Ahhhhhhhhh.

Seriously, has anyone tried this? Looking around on the inter-tubes, I found a beer review site that showcased comments such as these:

“Appearance: A disturbing pinkish color, like vomit pink, the appearance alone said, do not drink!”

“Somehow the brewers at Anheuser Busch managed to make one of the worst macros out there taste even worse.”

“This is plain terrible. This is otherwordly in its wretchedness. There’s a distinct vomit note, and I say that without hyperbole.”

“Oh dear god.  It’s like a Bloody Mary with a can of tuna juice dropped in.  Or wait, spaghettios!”

And all this can be yours for $7.99/6 pack!

If only Lemmonex was still around to knock back this cold one.

Chilling indeed.

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JT

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13 Responses

  1. cd0103@charter.net'
    Connie

    Okay– not my favorite beer, but I bought these because “who couldn’t???” and I didn’t think they were have bad. I like good beer and clamato, so….

    Reply
  2. brian7905@aol.com'
    Brian

    Isn’t beer + tomato juice suppose to help a hangover? I’ve seen these in stores out here in California for months if not years and assumed that was the only reason they were still around. It seems so disgusting that I never had the urge to try it.

    Reply
  3. johnturlington@gmail.com'
    JT

    Brian, you are forgetting one crucial component: CLAM JUICE!

    I’m not sure what that’s supposed to help… Chlamydia, maybe.

    Reply
  4. johnturlington@gmail.com'
    JT

    Kat – I wasn’t breaking news – I just couldn’t believe it existed… much less for 4-5 years.

    Reply
  5. sogoodblog@gmail.com'
    Eick

    JT, apparently you had already left our old office when I brought two of these in for people to taste test a few years ago.

    It is absolutely disgusting. I mean, really, really gross.

    And I love bloody mary’s and tomato juice….

    Reply
  6. sogoodblog@gmail.com'
    Eick

    I think what’s interesting is seeing these pop-up from time to time in “mainstream” supermarkets and such. For a few years they seemed to be relegated entirely to Latin markets.

    Reply
  7. hunt.jump@yahoo.com'
    Tori

    Those are all over the place down here in the South. I was unfortunate to try one once with someone who added tequila to them to make some odd bloody mary atrocity. Beer and tomato wasn’t that bad of a combo, but they second you taste the clam juice you realize that the only people who drink this stuff do it so they can throw up all the alcohol they drank before (so I can see how it can help a hangover)

    Reply

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