Who Eats KFC on a Bus?

Ever since KFC started running its most recent TV commercial about a month ago, I’ve found myself snickering every time it comes on.  The ad, to promote KFC’s new Extra Crispy Strips, features a woman riding a bus, extremely annoyed by the douche-baggy (is that word hyphenated? spell check needs to get with the times and add “douchebag” to its database)  executive seated next to her who is loudly blathering into his cell phone.  After being handed a box of KFC Extra Crispy Strips by the disarmingly nonthreatening hipster dude sitting across from her, she bites into the Extra Crispy Strip and, low and behold, the strip is SO crunchy that the noise of her chewing drowns out the douche executive next to her, instantly bringing her to a temporary state of calmness:

Cute right? And a good way to illustrate just how super crunchy the new product is. There’s just one issue that I can’t get past every single time this commercial airs: WHO THE HELL EATS KFC ON A BUS?  If you eat anything even remotely messier or less compact than an apple or a granola bar on a bus, you immediately elicit glares and looks of curiosity from other bus riders who are both intrigued and annoyed by your eating invasion of their personal space.

Have you ever been on a bus when someone unwraps and starts eating a Subway sandwich? Be honest with yourself and admit the facts – the mere smell of the product, in addition to the act of someone eating an actual meal-like item on the bus makes you quietly seethe in annoyance and not-so-veiled hatred.  And folks, this is a SANDWICH that elicits such a reaction. A food item that by all accounts is compact, usually cold, and wrapped in a protective, lettuce-bits-catching wrapper.  KFC serves its Extra Crispy Strips meal in an open topped box. In addition to the aroma of fried chicken and potato wedges, this dude’s meal is exposed for all the bus to see.

KFC has put a lot of emphasis over the last couple years on moving away from its traditional image as the place to get giant buckets of chicken and sides of mashed potatoes to take home for your family on nights you are too lazy to cook.  In an effort to woe young people on the go and individual versus group meal purchases, KFC has introduced snack wraps, the Double Down, a value menu and a $5 Fill Up Box.  Never mind the fact that the strategy isn’t working and KFC sales are declining.

The bottom line is this: KFC’s latest commercial is, in my eyes, an inaccurate fantasy and not representative of where people ACTUALLY eat KFC – either around a dinner table with the family, in front of the television, or in a grimy plastic booth coated with grease residue that dates back to the Reagan administration.  Anyone with a basic sense of decency and respect for the personal space of others is not going to eat an open-topped box of KFC fried chicken and potato wedges on a public bus.

Word to the wise: if I’m ever on a bus and you sit down next to me and start chowing down on a box full of KFC, I will be compelled to punch you in the spleen. Repeatedly.