Let me start out by professing my love for Starbucks. Seriously, I love it. I am there daily for my caffeine fix, and thank my lucky stars for Howard Schultz. However, Starbucks’ recent rollout of their new “healthy” breakfast menu has me convinced that “the ‘Bucks” needs to stick to what they do best: coffee and pastries.

I am the biggest fan of their hidden secret menu for Starbucks. Even the biggest fans don’t know about it!

Earlier this year Starbucks tried to compete for the smoothie lovers of the world by launching the Vivanno, which in my opinion was less than stellar. I am not a smoothie lover, but I am pretty sure that a bland fruity sensation with an aftertaste of protein powder was not the desired effect. I see people ordering these all the time, so they must be somewhat popular, but honestly Starbucks is a coffee joint! They should just leave the bananas and juicing to the Jamba Juices of the world.

This week Starbuck’s menu decided to branch out just a little bit further – Healthy Breakfast! When I read about this I was actually really excited. Visions of individual yogurt cups, healthy cereal with skim milk and whole fruit danced in my head. Then I saw what Starbucks had in mind and I quickly abandoned all dreams of satisfaction. Ok, I’m totally over-exagerating, it’s not that bad. It’s just not that good either. Lets take the new items one by one:

1. Perfect Oatmeal with your choice of mixed nuts, brown sugar or dried fruit

First off, I want to know what it is that makes this oatmeal so perfect. It’s bad enough that we live in a world where nothing ever seems good enough – do you really need perfectionistic oameal? That being said, I like this oatmeal, it’s hot, thick and I like the idea of the various add in options (brown sugar’s my pick). But if I’m grabbing breakfast at Starbucks, I am most probably on the go and thus oatmeal is not an ideal option.

2. Power Protein Plate (includes apple slices, a couple of grapes, a hard boiled egg, a small amount of cheese and peanut butter)

I applaud the effort on this one, I really do, but it never really comes together. It would have been better had Starbucks offered the components of this pack seperately. I would have loved the option of being able to buy individual hard boiled eggs, apple slices or a mini bagel, but altogether it just doesn’t seem to fit. I mean technically I suppose this is the complete breakfast I always hear about in cereal comercials, but it just looks so unappetizing all smooshed into a plastic box underneath the harsh lights of the Starbucks display.

3. Chewy Fruit and Nut Bar

Umm this is basically just an overpriced granola bar. Not to mention it’s pretty small for its 250 calorie price tag. If I were you I would walk over to the nearest deli buy the granola bar of your choice and bring it back to Starbucks to enjoy with your coffee – cause this thing just isn’t worth it.

4. Multi Grain Roll with your choice of almond butter or fruit preserves

I don’t know about you but I normally don’t eat a roll for breakfast. A roll is more of a pre dinner food, no? As far as taste goes this isn’t bad, but I mean it’s hard to mess up a roll so… I don’t know this just confuses me because it suggests that Starbucks doesn’t understand the meaning of breakfast. I also love how they are trying to be all fancy by serving it with almond butter… are they too good for regular butter? This is fine as far as taste goes, but then again it’s just bread.

All in all I am disapointed. The new options had potential but none of them really hit the mark. However, I will not stop frequenting my local Starbucks. I will still show up daily for my coffee and a smile, and hope that someday soon Starbucks can find a way to make peace with who it is (a very good coffee shop) and stop trying to be someone its not (breakfast nook, juicebar, food purveyor of all sorts.)

**Apparently there are more items on the new breakfast menu, however they have not yet shown up in my local Starbucks, and thus were not available for review. I also chose not to include the Berry Stella as that one has been around for a while now and does not meet my qualifications for new.

via USA Today

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7 Responses

  1. Garnold

    Wait, you enjoy the taste of horrifically brewed burnt-to-a-crisp coffee? I mean, do you drink the coffee, or just order a mocha/latte and pretend not to taste the burny awfulness? Please elaborate. One doesn’t need to be a coffee narc to realize that Starbuck’s produces some of the worst-tasting coffee anywhere. No anger meant, I just worry about your taste buds.

  2. Baraf

    I agree the coffee leaves something to be desired but I dont think it’s thaaaaat bad…. I little strong but I like my coffee really strong

    All in all though I just like the starbucks “experience” – I like that there is always a place I can go to just chill and get away from it all 🙂


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