Oreos are awesome. If you disagree, there are two possible reasons: One, you are not American. I’ll give you a pass because there’s no way you could truly understand the awesomeness of Oreos. Two, there is something seriously wrong with you and you should go the the emergency room immediately. Your taste buds may have fallen out. I really can’t think of any other excuses. Evidence that Oreos are America’s favorite snack is just a click away.
Some believe the same could be said for birthday cake. I am not one of those. Not that I hate birthday cake or anything, but I don’t love it. It’s just too rich. More than a couple of bites is overkill, in my eyes (mouth?).
Of course, the typical way of American thinking is that combining these two delectable desserts must create an even more amazing flavor explosion. But as we discovered last week, two great things does not an even greater thing make.
Now back to Oreos. The sweet treat is celebrating its 100th birthday on March 6th, and Nabisco has created a new flavor in its honor: Birthday Cake. They may already be in a store near you; if not, you shouldn’t have to wait long. Oreo was kind enough to send me a sleeve of these limited edition cookies for a “sneak taste.”
There are already too many varieties of Oreos. The only kind I eat are the original and golden flavors, and that’s enough for me. Peanut Butter, Mint, and Fudge Cremes be damned. I really don’t think you can improve on the original. But every brand does it; one flavor just isn’t enough these days. If there aren’t seven bastardized versions of your product, you’re clearly doing something wrong.
When I first opened the package of Birthday Cake Oreos, my nose was assaulted by the familiar vanilla scent of, you guessed it, birthday cake. To give you an idea of just how strong the aroma was, my mother, sitting about 25 feet away, said she smelled cake. The sleeve contained twenty-one cookies. In case you were considering buying Birthday Cake Oreos and eating the whole thing in one sitting, one of these cookies packs 70 calories. My brain tells me that’s 1,470 calories per sleeve. So don’t do that. Laughably, the serving size is two Oreos. In the words of Brian Regan, “Who the hell eats two cookies?”
The filling of the Birthday Cake Oreo has colorful sprinkles, like a Funfetti cake. It’s also much softer than the regular filling, so it’s actually possible to lick it off. Haven’t the people who make Oreo commercials ever tried to lick the filling? It’s not possible, despite what they will have you believe. It’s a conspiracy! Anyway, there is about as much filling in these as in the Double Stuf Oreos. The Birthday Cake filling tastes exactly like vanilla frosting, so they got that part right.
Another detail is that one of the cookies on each Oreo says “Oreo 100,” like a 100 Oreo coin. It’s as though we’ve entered the future and Oreos are now currency. I better head to the store and buy all the Birthday Cake Oreos, just in case. They’re each worth a hundred!
By my estimation, Birthday Cake Oreos are a solid 7 out of 10, but they’re nowhere near the originals (9/10). The main reason is they are much too sweet. They’re so rich that it’s difficult to eat more than a couple at a time. Maybe the serving size is accurate after all. It’s probably for the best, considering the nutritional value or lack thereof. They did nail the birthday cake flavor, I’ll give them that. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing. It’s a fun product to have for a limited time. Happy birthday, Oreo, and thanks for the free sample, but I don’t think I would buy these.