Every serious food eater knows that to get the best bite possible out of a stir fry (or any other eclectic dish, such as a salad), you need to apportion the ingredients on your fork carefully. Nobody wants a bite that is all bland mushroom, or all slimy noodles, or all greasy pork. Only an artistic blending of these sub-par ingredients will yield a bite that makes you feel like you didn’t just waste $7 on “Chinese” takeout. Especially if the delivery guy was late (Okay, so he wasn’t late. But how were you supposed to know he was actually at the door for the last ten minutes? He knocks so softly!).

In constructing this comprehensive bite, some people choose to stab each ingredient with their fork individually. These “stabbers” slide each different-flavored morsel precisely where they want it on the tines, resulting in the most aesthetically-pleasing sample possible.

However, some “shovelers” prefer to slide their fork underneath the whole pile and cram whatever comes up with it into their mouths. Although it sacrifices some precision, the shotgun technique offers bigger mouthfuls and accomplishes what, for many, is the main goal: moving the most food from the plate into you at the fastest rate possible.

What do you think, So Good readers? Do you strategically apportion your bites or take the indulgent, stuff-your-face approach? When it comes to stir fry fork technique, are you a stabber or a shoveler?

***Note to pretentious chopsticks users: you don’t count. Unless, of course, you use your chopsticks to stab and/or shovel. Then feel free to vote away.

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My name is Sam and all I care about is food.

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5 Responses

  1. Jim Reed

    I always catch my self laughing on the inside when I assess the situation of where I am easting, who I am with, and what the occasion is for the meal all before I decide how to use my fork.

    Reply
  2. bruleeblog

    I was all ready to be offended that you didn’t give chopsticks as an option until I saw your last note. :)

    Most chopstick eating *is* shoveling. How do you think people eat rice otherwise?

    Reply
  3. Sam

    Bruleeblog – Please excuse my ignorance – up until my freshman year of college, my sole points of reference Asian eating culture were the book “How My Parents Learned To Eat” and Disney’s Mulan.

    Reply

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