I Try It So You Don’t Have To: Ronzoni Bistro Penne with Chicken and Broccoli

As a “foodie” (a term I am somewhat conflicted about), people often express shock and dismay when I admit I eat the occasional lean cuisine or can of soup. Look, it isn’t ideal, but sometimes I am busy. Truthfully, there are a few frozen meals I shamefully love. I don’t need your judgment!

When I stumbled across this packet of horror in the supermarket, I was riveted. Could this actually be good? Could I ever be hungry enough to actually consume this? Egads, what if I like this? It just didn’t seem appetizing but I wanted to keep an open mind.

Smell: Like plastic. Gag inducing. Things did not look good.

Appearance/Texture: Well, look at the photo. Does this seem like something you would want to eat? It is gooey, mushy, and sticky. If glue and paste drank too many Amaretto Sours one night and things got a little out of hand, this would be their inter-adhesive love child. The chicken looked like a year old sponge that had spent too much time in a tanning bed. I searched vehemently for the broccoli in this “meal” until I realized the teeny flecks I assumed were pepper had a green hue.

Taste: Not so bad. I was expecting much worse. It was not nearly as salty or wretched as I anticipated. It didn’t have must taste at all. There was a plasticky undertone but this packet of culinary shame benefited from low expectations.

Final Verdict: Do yourself a favor and do not even look at this. Do humanity a favor and refuse to buy this. We need it off the street. It is for the children. We must save them.

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Lemmonex writes almost daily about food, life and how much she just wants to be held at her blog, Culinary Couture.