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I Try It So You Don’t Have To: Ronzoni Bistro Penne with Chicken and Broccoli

by Lemmonex · January 7th, 2009 · 9 Comments

As a “foodie” (a term I am somewhat conflicted about), people often express shock and dismay when I admit I eat the occasional lean cuisine or can of soup. Look, it isn’t ideal, but sometimes I am busy. Truthfully, there are a few frozen meals I shamefully love. I don’t need your judgment!

When I stumbled across this packet of horror in the supermarket, I was riveted. Could this actually be good? Could I ever be hungry enough to actually consume this? Egads, what if I like this? It just didn’t seem appetizing but I wanted to keep an open mind.

Smell: Like plastic. Gag inducing. Things did not look good.

Appearance/Texture: Well, look at the photo. Does this seem like something you would want to eat? It is gooey, mushy, and sticky. If glue and paste drank too many Amaretto Sours one night and things got a little out of hand, this would be their inter-adhesive love child. The chicken looked like a year old sponge that had spent too much time in a tanning bed. I searched vehemently for the broccoli in this “meal” until I realized the teeny flecks I assumed were pepper had a green hue.

Taste: Not so bad. I was expecting much worse. It was not nearly as salty or wretched as I anticipated. It didn’t have must taste at all. There was a plasticky undertone but this packet of culinary shame benefited from low expectations.

Final Verdict: Do yourself a favor and do not even look at this. Do humanity a favor and refuse to buy this. We need it off the street. It is for the children. We must save them.

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Lemmonex writes almost daily about food, life and how much she just wants to be held at her blog, Culinary Couture.

Tags: Bizarre · Comedy · Reviews

9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 …and Exhale « Culinary Couture // Jan 7, 2009 at 9:46 am

    [...] forget to check out what I am eating at So Good. The things I do for [...]

  • 2 Toby // Jan 7, 2009 at 10:31 am

    I’ve seen these at the grocery. Figuring that anyone who buys these things must be an asshole, I will sometimes take a packet off the shelf, mush it a few times with my fingers, and then put it back. Whatever.

  • 3 HP // Jan 7, 2009 at 11:16 am

    I was actually rather relieved to hear that you eat pre-packaged and frozen foods. Makes me feel like less of a slacker for my Amy’s burritos and veggie burgers.

  • 4 Eick // Jan 7, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    @Toby

    hahahahahahaha

    Classic. Well played.

  • 5 LiLu // Jan 7, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Listen, sometimes a girl just needs a little frozen. Ain’t no thang.

    Love you, lady.

  • 6 Lemmonex // Jan 7, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Long live Chicken Enchilada Suiza from Lean Cuisine.

  • 7 calamityjake // Jan 7, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Ugh. That pic makes it look like somebody had already eaten it, if you catch my drift. Glad to hear it didn’t taste as wretched as it looked.

  • 8 vanessa // Jan 8, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    Wow, talk about taking one for the team. I will tell my kids the sacrifices others made for them.

  • 9 I Try It So You Don't Have To: Ronzoni Bistro Penne with Chicken and Broccoli - Blogged // Jan 21, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Kramer auto Pingback[...] Read Full Story [...]

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