The suggestions for disgusting/bizarre/odd things for me to eat have been rolling in. I have done a few and welcome them all. So, while my stomach may not thank you, I do.

Yet, sometimes, I don’t need your suggestions. There is plenty of random stuff out there for me to just stumble upon on my own, when I am out minding my own business. For instance, during a quick dash in to CVS this weekend, I stumbled upon these Cheetos of the Crunchy Jalapeño Cheddar variety. I picked them up, pondered them, and wondered “Who eats this stuff?” I was then quickly reminded that I write a column to explore such things. I am smart like that…so here are my thoughts.

Smell: Fake cheese smell…gross, processed, mildly stale fake cheese smell. I have come to know this smell well. It is becoming and old and familiar friend.

Texture/Appearance: What an apt moniker these “treats” have. These Cheetos are, indeed, quite crunchy. Frankly, I am more of a fan of the regular, non-crunchy Cheetos ( or even better, Jax…oh, how I adore Jax), but there was nothing inherently objectionable about the texture. The appearance? Kinda lumpy and bumpy and speckled with red dots. They look like they need a trip to the doctor. The specks make sense when you read the ingredient list; these Cheetos are made with “jalapeño chili powder”.

Taste: These are not all that spicy, yet they do manage to have a bit of a slow burn afterward. Flavor wise, my roomie hit the nail on the head: they taste like Doritos. This prompts the question: Cheetos, why did you replicate a flavor that already exists? And after said replication, why did you call it jalapeño flavor? These do not taste like jalapeños; these are merely cheetos with heat. Jalapeños actually have a flavor besides containing heat, but you sure don’t experience that flavor here.

Final Verdict: These were fine. Yet, plenty of things in this world are fine. I don’t want fine. I want wonderful. You know what is wonderful? Doritos. Eat those.


Lemmonex writes almost daily about food, life, and her undying love for anything animal print on her blog, Culinary Couture.

12 Responses

  1. Youppi

    Cheese Doodles are way better than Cheetos, puffy or crunchy.

    I think most puffed cheese treats are gross, and that crunchy is the way to go.

  2. Grimace

    Jax Rule.

    I always equate crunchy cheetos as cheetos and completely ignore the “Cheetos Puffs.”

    Did I mention Jax Rule. Long Live Bachman.

  3. rrr!

    What kind of question is “Who eats this stuff?”

    They are Cheetos! Everyone eats Cheetos!


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