A few days ago I stumbled across a post on a blog titled “Destined to be the ‘crazy cat woman’.” Alrighty. Anyways, she found an online toy site called Lilly’s Kids (part of the Lillian Vernon catalog) and got quite a chuckle out of the Subway “Sandwich Artist” Activity Set. (full disclosure: I worked for three years as a “Sandwich Artist”, and unlike the ex-cons and degenerates I worked with at the time, I actually did see sandwich assembly as an art form).

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Isn’t that cute? The little set has everything you need for your child to pretend to work at Subway. However, if you really want your kid to fall into the burger flipper career path, make sure to get them the McDonald’s Playset:

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Well, if that’s all there was to this story, we could have a quick chuckle and go on with our day. But oh no, there’s more. There’s only one review posted of the product, but the reviewer gives it 5 stars, and lists the product’s “Best Use” as “Play Therapy.” Which is great because…..wait, wait, wait…what? Play therapy? What is that? The reviewer continues (note: I am not so annoying as to write in all caps, this is how it was posted by the reviewer):

“I AM A CLINICAL THERAPIST, BY PROFESSION, SO THIS PRODUCT HAS BEEN USED SEVERAL TIMES WHEN I DO PLAY THERAPY WITH SOME OF THE CHILDREN I COUNSEL. I WILL ACTUALLY BE ORDERING ANOTHER ONE AS I GAVE THIS SET TO ONE OF THE YOUNGSTERS AT MY SCHOOL WHO REALLY DID EXCEPTIONALLY WELL IN EXPRESSING HIMSELF OVER OUR ‘MCDONALD’S’ SESSIONS!”

“McDonald’s Sessions?” Oh lord. Apparently having children pretend they work at a McDonald’s drive-thru is the new wave in child therapy? Why can’t they have an “investment banker session” a “doctor session” or a “car salesman” session? Wouldn’t that, you know, plant the seeds of a more promising career path?

Either way, I guess props go to Lillian Vernon and their fast food playsets, which are helping American children in need, day after day after day. We salute you Lillian Vernon!

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