Hey, remember 4 years ago when everyone hated the French? You know, because they had that “crazy” idea that going into Iraq might be a mistake? Well France’s irrational opposition to the Iraq war sure looks silly now huh? What with that war having been executed flawlessly and all. But anyway…..

Apparently, our hatred of the French has vanished so much that we have allowed their European way of thinking to infiltrate even the most American of institutions: the burger competition. What prompts this thought by me? Hearing the results of Red Robin’s The Next Gourmet Burger competition. The winner? Eleven-year-old Joey Yarwick of San Diego.

“An over-sized certificate mounted on posterboard? Cool! Wait, am I the only one that wore this silly chef’s hat?”

Yarwick’s winning burger was called the “Au Brie Burger a la Francais.” It was loaded with melted brie and au gratin potatoes, and served on a toasted croissant. A croissant for a burger? Eh…ok. But what absolutely made this story for me was the quote from Yarwick, who told the judges:

“Close your eyes and you’ll see the Eiffel Tower”

Uh….what? Joey, dude, hate to break it to you, but you’re ELEVEN. Eleven. You may have been to the Eiffel tower before, hell for all I know you may have even lived in Paris. But the idea that you have created a burger with a taste that can make me “see the Eiffel Tower” is highly comical to me. Also, is it just me, or is there anything LESS French than a hamburger?

Honestly though, back to the anti-French point, do you really think 4 years ago when everyone was hating on the French a “burger” like this could have ever won this competition? Heck, if the judges picked this burger as the winner of the 2003 competition, President Bush probably would have had them sent to Guantanamo.

Congrats to Joey, whose burger will now appear on the menu at Red Robin. Now if I had any clue whatsoever where a Red Robin was located, perhaps I’d go out and try it. Yo, Red Robin, you might want to do a better job with your marketing campaign, because I run a food blog, and I don’t know jack about you.

Update: According to the Red Robin website’s locate function there are actually 9 Red Robin’s within 30 miles of me (although none within 15 miles). Red Robin? Y’all might want to figure out a way to reach consumers like me, because whatever you’re doing now, it ain’t working (well until this burger competition I suppose).

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