Attack of the Killer Tomato Sandwich!

Meet Forty-eight-year-old Alex Montreuil, a Canadian who had a run in with something far more horrifying than George Clooney’s perm-mullet hybrid in Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

Montreuil was at the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal,for a CT scan, when he alleges he was attacked with a tuna and tomato sandwich.

As bad luck would have it, he suffers violent allergic reactions to salicylates – a substance found naturally in several common foods. Including, you guessed it, tomatoes.

Upon being accosted up side the head, he began to develop a rash and swelling. Luckily, he was already in a medical facility.

A woman has been charged with assault with a deadly sandwich.

Click here for more on this news story, as the ever present “French vs English” language fervor in Quebec, stoked most recently by a Separatist government being elected & a most heinous shooting only moments after the celebration had begun, is being blamed for this “tomatoing”.