Stabbing food with sticks and toting them around as you nibble isn’t anything new. Any toothpick will tell you that.

In recent years however, this type of delivery system has mutated to the point of excess, thanks in no small part to State & County Fair vendors trying to become the next deep fried Snickers bar when it comes to thinking outside the plate.

It’s no longer your grandfather’s corn dog world. And who can blame them? People want portable meals, freeing themselves from the oppressive cutlery regime.  If you stick it, they will come.

Here are just a few items from around the world that have found themselves in sticky situations.

 

Is McDonald’s test marketing a new “Squid on a Stick” Happy Meal?

 Octopus Tempura on a stick. Joe Rogan take note. This is Fear Factor material.

That awkward moment Spongebob is at the market with Patrick.

The “Licensed to Chill” frozen treat bar from Dole UK. Fashioned in the ab-tastic likeness of 007 himself, Daniel Craig.

These little piggies went to market the hard way as a Thailand market

Which came first on a stick? The chicken or the egg?

Ah, State Fairs. Where the magic happens. Pizza Hut, take note, you’re missing out on a golden opportunity here.

Scorpion & Seahorse combo platter #5

Pop-tarts on a stick. Because you know, Pop-tarts weren’t portable enough before.

I salute Jimmy Dean. A pioneer in the frozen “everything but the kitchen sink” philosophy.

There are seasoned Hollywood special effect artists that can not created the horror that is a spaghetti and meatball dinner on a stick.

Sadly, many years too late to do a proper cross promotional tie-in with the Atari game “Joust”.

This corn dog totally failed its mandated drug test. It tested positive for fries.

Hmm Gator. Hmm Shark. Someone please alert Roger Corman. GatorShark needs to happen.

This seriously should be incorporated into the Texas State flag.

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