Every once in a while, when I am waiting in line at a drug store or super market, I will notice those ubiquitous little bottles of energy potion that I always assumed could double for antifreeze. Well, as I read in the WSJ today, apparently I am not the only one noticing. According to the article, the major player is 5-hour Energy, with 80% of the market share, and total annual sales of $1 billion.

What surprised me even more was not the popularity of this uber-caffeinated tonic (seriously – the same caffeine as 6 cokes, in just one ounce??), but the new target market – the 60+ demo.

Apparently, this snake oil has been advertising in AARP‘s magazine, and as a result, seniors have been hurriedly pushing their tennis ball-outfitted walkers to find this holy grail of energy.   However, what they will soon realize is what all of us who have downed a Mountain Dew or tall boy of coffee while pulling an all-nighter know “ that when the quick boost subsides, you either take a nosedive, or you have to keep hitting the sauce, which I guess is the idea. It works for crack, so why not energy drink?

My next question is – where 5-hour will go with their new audience? Prune-flavored shots? Nursing home sponsorships? Advertising in the newspaper? More bogus pictures of active-looking fossils? I sure hope so on all of the above.

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JT

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