Wheat Thins Stix: The Enemy of Spellcheck

Hmmm…about a year ago Eick sent me some food in the mail, and I made a promise I could not keep….at the time.  I could give everyone a long-drawn-out excuse for my writing truancy…but…

THE STIX BECKON.

Shape and Texture: They are stix goddamn it.  Like a thick cracker cut into some stix.  Stix.  Good god my spell check hates these stix.

Flavor: The chipotle pepper stix weren’t so bad.  They were spicy and a little bit salty, but the flavors were not bold enough for me.

Cinnamon Kick: Yes, technically this is also a flavor, but it was so fugging awful that it deserved its own category.  When you have a stick-type product that is covered in cinnamon, where does the mind travel?  Perhaps to a frosting-type substance one could dunk said sticks in?  I bit into this stix and spit it out.  My wife actually gagged her mouthful into the sink.  Salty and cinnamony, but kettle corn this is not.  There should be a warning on this flavor that screams audibly from the box, “I’M FUCKING SALTY!!!  I AM NOT A SUGARY TREAT.”

Consensus: Ranked from 0 being awful and 10 being fantabulous, I give Wheat Thins Stix a long-awaited and full-hearted 4.  In a market saturated with products that I can dunk into various dips, I just can’t help but feel that Wheat Thins Stix are rather redundant, and quite frankly, the Cinnamon Kick flavor tempted me to grade this product even lower.