CBS Standards and Practices has reviewed your proposed Super Bowl ad and concluded that the creative is not within the Network’s Broadcast Standards for Super Bowl Sunday.

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It wouldn’t be Super Bowl season without debate over potentially controversial commercials. While the ad below is not for a food company, but rather for the gay men’s dating site ManCrunch, I thought it worthy of writing about because the pinnacle moment comes when the two featured men in the commercial have their hands brush up against each other while reaching into a bowl of potato chips – leading to an impromptu, but passionate make-out session.

Ah, hook-ups driven by food, you are an o-so-common occurrence. I mean seriously, how many times in your life have you awkwardly brushed hands with a date while reaching into a popcorn bag at a movie? Or accidentally started eating the same piece of spaghetti from opposite ends when sharing a plate of pasta (that happens in real life, not just Lady & The Tramp, right?)

The ad has not yet been formally accepted or rejected, but  ManCrunch’s PR agency has informed me that:

the site’s executives now believe CBS is intentionally postponing a final call on whether they will air the ad because they are worried about a backlash from gay and lesbian advocacy groups if they reject it.

It sounds to me like maybe ManCrunch is fishing for a story – if CBS was worried about backlash from gay and lesbian groups, wouldn’t they just accept the ad? If they are considering rejecting it, then they must have some level of concern about “pro-family” or anti-gay groups complaining or criticizing CBS if they were to air it.

So what do you think readers, should CBS reject this ad? Or is it ridiculous that they would even consider doing so?

And what do you think of ManCrunch’s intentions with this ad? Are they seriously interested in forking over the cash for this commercial to air, or are they just trying to stoke some controversy where it doesn’t exist in order to get some “buzz” online?

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Carl’s Jr. is leveraging Kim Kardashian beyond just this one ad though, enlisting her to invite people from around the country to join her for a “Salad Lunch Date.”

The lunch date will take place live, via the Carl’s Jr. Facebook page, and Kim has even extended a “personal” video invitation which you can find on YouTube:

So this raises the inevitable question, who is going to be joining her for this lunch date?

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So this is a new one to me. A burger with butter on it? Hmmmm. I know places that butter, or sometimes even heavily butter the buns they put their burgers on, but putting a big old slab of butter directly onto a burger? Wow. I stumbled across these butter burgers when reading a post on Andrew Sullivan’s blog, featuring a new ad for Miller High Life that prominently features this high-fat treat.

That looks awful and awesomely appealing at the same time. Apparently butter burgers are a Wisconsin favorite, and have been made famous by a place called Culver’s. Check out a review of these burgers from Would I Buy It Again?

Anyone tried one of these bad boys?

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Today I stumbled across a relatively new Corn Pops commercial called “Dragon Dreams.”  The title was intriguing, so I gave it a watch. I don’t know what else I should have expected from something that used both the word “Dragon” and the word “Dreams” in its title, but this entire commercial was like one giant acid trip right from the get go.

Now I know kids have this crazy active thing we like to call an “imagination”, and thus kids ads are different, but is there any type of food product with ads that are anywhere in the same ballpark as cereal ads in terms of trippiness?  Liquid Generation even put together a compilation video of what they believe are the ten trippiest cereal commercials:

If you’re in your late 20’s like I am, you must still have a whole host of memories about some crazy trippy cereal ads you saw when you were a kid.  Well then So Good readers. What do you think? Share some of your favorite trippy cereal commercials in the comment section.

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Dude, I totally don’t remember this at all dude. Nor did I ever try it, so I don’t even know if it’s “most excellent.”  But I am amused by the commercial. Anyone remember ever trying this?

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After a bit of a hiatus while Phelps was serving his suspension, Subway has finally put the swimming superstar back on the air.  For hidden message seeking stoners and freedom lovers everywhere, the ad could be viewed as either a subtle dig at Kellogg’s and/or nod of approval toward Phelp’s activities.  The new ad pairs Phelps with will-he-just-vanish-off-the-face-of-the-earth-already Subway icon Jared Fogle, and features Sly and the Family Stone’s “Thank You.”  The name of the ad? “Be Yourself.” That’s right Phelps, you should be be yourself! Toke up if you want!

Dan Neil, writing for the Los Angeles Times, examines the (lack of) endorsement fallout from the Phelps story and notes:

To the extent that endorsement opportunities are a rough metric of how well someone in public life is liked, admired, respected, the bong-heard-round-the-world scandal might as well never have happened. With the benefit of hindsight, Kellogg execs might well be kicking themselves.

With Phelps back on the air for Subway and still challenging world records in recent swim tournaments, it’s clear that American’s are happy to have him back, and their collective shrug in response to his pot use shows just how outside the mainstream Kellogg’s is.

Welcome back Michael Phelps, and way to go Subway. I knew there was a reason I worked for one of your franchises for 4 years.

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Via AdRants.

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At first I thought this was a children’s video, but by the end of the first verse I think it’s about actually fucking fast food- as in making sex with fast food, getting turned on by fast food, or using fast food as a sexual enhancer. These performers must be victims of human trafficking because no one would do this if they still had free will.

The name of the group who made this is Fast Food Rockers, the name of the song is simply “The Fast Food Song.”

According to Wikipedia this was their “hit” song, reaching #2 on the UK pop charts.  They released one album in 2003, which also featured the song “Say Cheese.” The band had broken up by March, 2004.  However, you can still find them on MySpace.

If you are wondering about the giant purple dog, he is their mascot, “Hotdog.”  He appeared in all three of their music videos.  I have no idea why they wear those futuristic pleather outfits.

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To see the contrast in the marketing technique utilized to shape the appeal of the BK King, take a look at this 1978 Burger King commercial, which features “The Magic Burger King” performing all sorts of tricks for an audience of captivated children:

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“In tough economic times, more people than ever are turning to fast food options as a way to stretch their paycheck.  Playboy.com has taken note of this trend with its own ‘video salute’ to lunchtime. The site’s editors recognized that Quiznos seems to have a good sense of humor about their brand, and didn’t hesitate in selecting them as one of the best bargains out there.”

When pressed with specific questions about if Quiznos had knowledge of the video’s release or gave tacit approval of the video, Playboy did not directly address my question, but simply replied with this statement:

“Playboy.com is responsible for the video and put it together as its ’salute to lunchtime’.”

Does the mystery continue?

Update: Confusion is swirling online as to whether or not Quiznos had any involvement in making this video.  We knew all along that it was produced by Playboy, but the assumption from most seemed to be that the prominent featuring of a Quiznos sub made clear Quiznos was part of it. AdAge reports that they have spoken with Quiznos, and the company has denied any involvement in the ad. However, many bloggers seem skeptical.

Jezebel:

“It seems unlikely that Playboy independently produced a viral video advertising their sandwiches.”

The Denver Egotist:

“We’re calling bullshit, especially after watching that creepy sex-addled talking oven spot they’ve been running.”

Adrants:

“We can’t help but wonder just how many people over at Quiznos are loving (even hoping) this thing gets as much exposure as it’s getting. We still think there’s some shenanigans going on here.”

Cafe Society:

“We say bullshit. We’ve seen those creepy mutant hamster commercials and “Put it in me” talking-oven spots, so we know for a fact that the folks at Quiznos are sick enough to make this ad happen.”

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Oh. My. God. I cannot believe that Quiznos made this ad.  First off, for those of you unfamiliar, this ad title/concept is based off the popular viral internet video “2 girls, 1 cup.” If you haven’t seen the video before, don’t bother looking it up. I can’t even begin to describe it to you in any level of detail without losing half my readers, but lets just say that it involves 2 women, eating, a cup, human excrement, and vomit. Enough. I don’t even want to say more.

Well some marketing genius over at Quiznos decided that a phrase (2 girls, 1 cup) that most users of the internet associate with one of the most disgusting, revolting and abhorrent things they have ever seen in their lives, should also be associated with the Quiznos brand name! Yay! Think Quiznos! Think human feces and vomit!

The execution of the ad is no less appalling than the fact that some moron even thought up this idea in the first place.  Two months ago, we asked in good fun if the new Padma Lakshmi Hardee’s commercial was “Soft Core Porn.” Ha! We were just joshing you. Compared to that ad, this one is like Deep Throat 7 – Tonsil’s Revenge. We also wondered if the Stacker 2 “6 hour power” ad was the most sexually explicit ad ever. Ha! That ad might as well have featured bunny rabbits and snowflakes compared to this one.

A YouTube video of the commercial is below the fold. I will tell you that while there is no nudity, this ad is about as NSFW as it can possibly be short of nudity or actual sexual intercourse – pay attention to those headphones people, there is plenty of sound! Be sure to keep reading on for my full thoughts on why this is such a horrendously awful ad.

So we have a few problems here. For starters, readers of this blog know that I think Quiznos sandwiches taste disgusting. I was already associating them with excrement and vomit. Now Quiznos has basically taken the next step and formalized my suspicions: even people in their marketing department can see the link between the taste of human excrement and vomit and the taste of their sandwiches! Otherwise, how would they have thought up this ad?

The next issue, of course, is that the two models, 21 year old Kari Nautique, and Playboy playmate Hiromi Oshima, are making noises, and writhing around, as if they are mid-orgasm while eating the sandwich. Not to mention deliberately allowing the “mayo” to become smeared all over their faces from their messy eating. I don’t even think we need to broach the subject of the phallic shape of Quizno’s sandwiches.  Oh yeah, and of course, they are sitting on a bench wearing bikinis while eating the sandwich, because why wouldn’t they be?

Now as a 28 year-old male, I’m not complaining about a hot 21 year-old in a bikini. Besides, sex sells. I get it, and I don’t have a problem with that. But who is the target market for this ad? Obviously not women. Probably not old people.   I’m guessing 18 – 34 year old males is the exact target demographic they are going for.  Well, I fall into that demographic.  When I’m watching an ad that is trying to sell me something using sex, I should either be turned on by it or excited by the idea of watching it. Watching this ad, I felt neither of those things. I felt gross, icky and uncomfortable just watching it from the privacy of my own desk and computer screen.  That’s me, a 28 year-old male. Imagine how offended/uncomfortable a woman of any age or a parent might be when they see this? Oh, and I never even mentioned the fact that Quiznos made this ad in collaboration with Playboy.

Now I could make some bold proclaimation like “I will never eat at Quizno’s again!” but that would be meaningless, because I never eat at Quizno’s anyways, because their food is horrid.  But if you are a parent, and you ever take your kid to Quizno’s, stop doing so immediately. Seriously. I’m not into drawing lines for how far advertising should go, but this ad makes anti-line-drawers suddenly realize that yep, now that I’ve seen this, I know the definition of crossing the line, and this is it.

So just to re-cap the stupidity of Quizno’s on this:

• Name our ad after the most disgusting viral video ever? Check.
• Offend anyone over the age of 35 and probably almost any female? Check.
• Make even your target demo of 18-34 year old males feel uncomfortable? Check.

and finally……

• Associate your food with BOTH human excrement AND vomit? CHECK.

Well, you did it Quiznos. You made possibly the most appaling, offensive commercial possible. Now thousands, if not millions, of people who weren’t already doing so will begin to associate your food with vomit and shit. Reapeat after me: Quiznos = vomit & shit, vomit & shit, vomit & shit. Well done Quiznos marketing department, well done.

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