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Internationally, particularly in China, KFC is the dominant brand with items like a Dragon Twister and spicy tofu chicken rice, in addition to the usual fried chicken.  Burger King and Pizza Hut also have some international treats like the Golden Fortune Pizza in Malaysia.

This all got me to thinking, where are the international chains bringing their wares to the US? We have an ever expanding group of high end fast causal dining, from burgers to tacos to sausages and hot dogs, but there does not seem to be a major international player making in roads into the US. Certainly it is not because our plates are so refined that we simply don’t want more fast food. As late as 2009 the Top 400 restaurant chains in the US  are all US based.

More recently Tim Horton’s has made some significant inroads into the Northern US but it only boasts 600+ locations. That would fit it nicely in between Steak and Shake and Olive Garden in the US.

Where is my Slug and Lettuce or my Bacolod Chicken Inasal darn it!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I can get just about any type of food I want, even in the small city I live in, but I find it odd that our fast food may be considered a delicacy in other markets and we don’t have the same chance to make ourselves look foolish by oohing and aahing another countries exports.

Seriously Wendys, Wheres the Fois Gras?

In my house we do the Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve. Traditionally this is a very long meal of many courses that ends just before midnight, so that people could attend midnight mass. Personally I have not been to midnight mass since I was teenager, apparently falling asleep and snoring loudly exempted me from attending any more. Many of you likely let Christmas Eve go by with little or no fanfare, to be followed by a big Christmas Day meal with Ham, Turkey, Roast Beef or some other large hunk of protein.

For Hanukkah there is a custom of eating foods fried or baked in oil (preferably olive oil) to commemorate the miracle of a small flask of oil keeping the flame in the Temple alight for eight days.

The Kwanzaa feast, or Karamu is typically celebrated on December 31st and will likely includes dishes with African roots like spicy stews and soups, roasted lamb or ham with black eyed peas. Kwanzaa cake is optional

The original holiday dinner for Festivus  featured turkey or ham followed by a Pepperidge Farm cake decorated with M&M’s. The Costanza family appeared to have meatloaf, or maybe spaghetti with red sauce. I think you can play it by ear if you want to enjoy this December 23rd traditon. The airing of grievances is required.

The one common thread for all of these meals is the tradition of families coming together to enjoy them and celebrate whatever reason for the season that they have.

As households in the US get smaller and smaller…

More and more families are moving away from the large extended family holiday dinner, to a restaurant meal with their immediate family.  As a result restaurants are beginning to cater to those family traditions in order to attract more business.  You can have your very own feast of the 7 fishes brought to your table without any sweat off of your, or your mothers brow. Or how about a delicious prime rib dinner on Christmas day without having to give up hours of playing with you new Christmas goodies.

There is already a long standing “tradition” for Jewish families to eat Chinese food on Christmas day.

but what about other meals during Hanukkah? Seems like there are many options.

So what do you think? Is going to a restaurant the path of least resistance and maximum enjoyment for your holiday meal or is is it the hearth, home and pile of people that make the season for you.

As much of a foodie as I am, I have to admit, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without a houseful of people, My Kill all Humans apron and the smell of fish frying in my kitchen.

People have flocked in increasing numbers to these occasionally quick means of hunger management. In a 2010 study by Yale University it was reported that nearly 60% of all fast food consumers procure their burgers and shakes via the stop, yell and grab method. Drive Thru’s systematically rendered the Drive-In concept to be quaint, while continuously assisting in the obliteration of our Ozone layer via that never ending idling conga line of exhaust.

At one point in time it was considered glamorous to be awarded with the Drive Thru job during your shift. There may have even been a small amount of prestige that went with this tour of duty. I doubt it got you laid.

David Letterman had a reoccurring bit during his late night tenure at NBC where he would man the window at a local restaurant and gleefully confuse increasingly befuddled patrons as they tried to put in straight forward orders. It always culminated in enraged folks, only wanting their trans-fat soaked bag of carbs being strung along mercilessly to the delight of viewers and more importantly Dave himself.

Truly, the Drive Thru window had become a beloved institution in America.

Then we began to get wise to the power the Drive thru held over us. How many times had you been asked to pull up ahead and wait for someone to run you out a burger because you had the audacity to ask that the pickle be held? Why was it that you had to now request salt and ketchup? Why had Ronald revoked our God given rights to free condiments? How many times have you heard pimple face snickering in the background when replying that you wanted the “boy toy” with that Happy Meal?

The increasing resentment toward Drive Thru service is no more eloquently summarized in pop culture then Joe Pesci’s legendary profanity laced rant in Lethal Weapon 2, which remains the expected stereotypical outcome for anyone dumb enough to wait until getting home before checking an order for accuracy.

As the digital age stormed the golden arches et al, it has armed the consumer with Smart Phone prowess. This has turned the tide of power considerably and ensured that Drive Thru Cinema could be considered a legitimate art form. Today’s technology means whether it an elaborately planned joke or an improv based drive by, all can be captured if there is a iPhone at the ready. These days you can get it all up on You Tube before you even leave the parking lot and finish that McRib. And with that, the power has shifted from window jockey to the consumer.

Just look how quickly Coning became a phenomenon as the money shot was not someone manhandling soft serve, but the general shock or disbelief on the face of the drive thru operator.

I used to think operating the fry station at any restaurant would easily be the most hated job in Fast Food Land. You’d think having to labor hour upon hour in oppressive heat while fending off searing barrages of spitting grease only to trudge home defeated, smelling like you oil wrestled in Crisco all day would be the last choice of any kid reeling in those big minimum wage dollars.

My theory is soundly trounced upon viewing any of the Millions of You Tube videos in which poor corporate smocked souls manning the Drive-Thru window are continuously subjected to pranks, customers ordering as Elmo and other unrelenting torture via their two way headset.

The Drive Thru window could now be considered the Gulag of medial fast food jobs. Isolated from the majority of your co-workers, it’s just you against the elements. Namely aspiring Cinéma vérité Directors ordering up a sac of tacos while documenting your reaction to him made up as a Party Clown with nothing but a pair of Where’s the Beef? boxer shorts on.

And Heaven help you if you’re working the late night shift, in a County with lax drinking and driving enforcement and run out of McNuggets.

“I don’t feel like cooking tonight.”

“Me neither.”

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I recently came across one of Yahoo’s properties called Shine (another portal for women – and couldn’t the world use one more of those) because of an article about the 10 worst food trends in a restaurant near you. 

Food critic Jonathan Gold made the list, and I agree with many.

#1: “Changes and Modifications Politely Declined” – I always thought this italicized menu disclaimer was absurdly pompous and preposterous.  If you are paying for the dinner, you should be able to get it how you want it – within reason.  I understand that the chef might feel that all the flavors/textures work well together, but if I don’t like cilantro, just take it off.

#3: Untranslated menus – Yes, your Ris de veau selon l’humeur might be the best in town, but could you give me a slight hint about a key ingredient or two?  If not, what is the purpose of having a menu to begin with?

#4: $5 tap water – I have long been mystified by the average consumer’s tolerance to spend absurd amounts of money on bottled water such as Fiji, Evian, etc. Where did this trend come from?  Possibly the restaurant scene, which has been able to somehow charge for free tap water for some time now.  Trickledown effect? –  maybe so…

#10: Better living through chemistry/molecular gastronomy – regular food + liquid nitrogen.  Enough said.

Others?  How about the national bacon craze? Or the cupcakes and donuts that have jumped the shark?

What food trends do you think are the pits?

Shake Shack features a menu of burgers, fries, hot dogs, shakes and frozen custard. The shakes, much like those at Good Stuff Eatery, are made from a custard, rather than an ice cream base, making them extra sweet and rich.

The star of Shake Shack’s food is definitely the burgers. Hormone & antibiotic free angus beef, the patties are cooked to a juicy medium. Unlike some area burgers, this is a relatively grease free affair – the Shake Shack burger has a clean, fresh taste.

The french fries served are crinkle-cut style fries like you see served at Nathan’s or maybe your high school cafeteria, although these aren’t your soggy cafeteria fries, as they all have a crunchy, crispy exterior.

The opening party was jam-packed, and while it may feel like higher-end burger places are reaching a saturation point in DC, I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that Shake Shack will thrive.

Jill VanHeest says she took her 2-year-old son Nikolai to the hospital after his eyes turned red and dilated and he began acting up. She said he was given fluids and released a couple hours later with no lasting effects.

This is interesting timing, because almost a week ago an Applebee’s in Michigan served another toddler a margarita instead of apple juice.

The company’s responses since have been interesting:

Applebee’s president Mike Archer, said, in part:

“We want to express how thankful we are that the child involved in the incident at our restaurant … was not seriously injured as a result of accidentally receiving the wrong beverage. We also want to apologize to his parents, for the stress and worry this caused them. Although our efforts to speak with the child’s parents have been unsuccessful, we extend our personal apologies.”

Further, the company has posted a few times on their Facebook page, as well as website, addressing the issue.

Conversely, Olive Garden spokesman Rich Jeffers, said, in part:

“This was an extremely regrettable accident caused by the failure of an employee to follow our strict operating procedures. We take this situation very seriously, and we are especially grateful that the child involved was not seriously harmed. We have absolutely no tolerance for failure to follow our operating procedures and we took swift, appropriate action to deal with this situation.”

The company’s Facebook page and corporate site fail to mention this issue, the former instead focusing on its sweepstakes and garden fare menu (they were probably too busy waterboarding the offending employee).  Also note that the Olive Garden debacle happened on March 31 – two weeks ago – with very little damage control until recently.  Applebee’s has taken a much more aggressive approach to this six-day-old incident, proactively responding to the issue – even publicizing its new training protocol for employees, without blaming anyone for making the mistake (albeit a doozy).

Both of these chains claim to be family-friendly, but which response leaves a better taste in your mouth?  My answer is the chain that avoided sweeping the problem under the rug and took the issue on.  Do you agree?

One story over the holidays that caught my attention took place a couple days before Christmas in LA.  Apparently, an owner of the restaurant Red Medicine came up to the noted restaurant critic for the LA Times (S. Irene Virbila) while she was waiting for a table, took her picture, and posted it on the restaurant’s website.  This would not have been nearly as big a deal if the critic had not been working anonymously for the paper for the past 16 years.   The owner’s reason for this public outing:

“Our purpose for posting this is so that all restaurants can have a picture of her and make a decision as to whether or not they would like to serve her. We find that some her reviews can be unnecessarily cruel and irrational…”

Oh, and did I mention that the owner then kicked the critic out of the restaurant, along with her three dining partners?  Talk about adding insult to injury. 

When I read this story, I was outraged.  I realize that a bad review can really hurt a business, especially in an ultra-competitive market like LA.  That said, it’s not like a critic of this stature just goes in once, orders an appetizer, and then offers up their influential review.  The method is more like going in at least three different times, sampling a plethora of items on the menu, and then making a ruling on the success of the overall operation.   I think what this owner did was cowardly.  He is no martyr, but rather a fool who thought it was a better idea to hurt a career over a possibly poor review.  Weak sauce.

As someone who loves to eat out and also read restaurant reviews, I like knowing that the reviewer received an experience similar to mine, if I had gone.  But, this only works when the critic is not easily identified.  If they are, the service could be far better, the chef could make special preparations, and the experience could be different – thus, the review would lose credibility. 

What do you think, readers?  Do restaurant reviewers have too much power?  Should they all be outed?  Speak your mind.

And to critics like Tom Sietsema from my beloved Washington Post: just remember to keep your head low.

[At top, critic Jonathan Gold from LA Weekly, keeping it real... c/o Portfolio.]

After several days of lots and lots of street food, my final night in Bogota we opted to eat at a “nice” restaurant and drop the kind of cash you wouldn’t normally come close to spending on the street. Up entering La Jugueteria, we were immediately confronted with a display case full of retro toys, including the old school WWF action figures you see below.  Man, this display case was full of every toy you could imagine – an eBay re-sellers wet dream.

After being seated and starting to review the menu, my friend suddenly leaned over to me and quietly whispered “look up.” When I did, this is the sight I saw:

Yep, babies. Literally HUNDREDS of dolls of babies were hanging from the rafters throughout the entire restaurant. Creepy, but I also admired the commitment. These folks went ALL IN on their restaurant theme idea and it was totally working for me from an atmosphere stand-point.

Click below to read more and see pictures of some of the tasty food!

First up we got an order of empanadas to share as an appetizer for the table.  No complaints here. The pastry was light and flaky, the sauce had just the right kick, and the meat was tender and well-seasoned.

Next up for me was some tortilla soup. I appreciated the separation of the ingredients as I got to mix  corn, cheese, avocados and sour cream into the soup at my own pace. Kept all the accompaniments nice and fresh.

One of the more interesting dishes was the side order of plantains. At La Jugueteria, they prepare the plantains to look like a banana split smothered in cheese to resemble ice cream, and even topped with a cherry in the middle.

My main course of beef tenderloin was less remarkable than the earlier courses, but tasty nonetheless.

A couple more pics of the decor:

Overall, solid food and a very, very unique atmosphere.

The sandwich you see above contains bacon, bananas and peanut butter, served on French toast. Heavy? Yes. Messy? Yes? Absolutely freakin delicious in every bite? You bet.  If you ever go to EL Ay Si, my advice is no matter how much apprehension you have, man up, order this sandwich and enjoy the experience.  Just ask yourself WWEO (What Would Elvis Order)

The meal wouldn’t have been complete without another extravagant, bacon themed side dish, so we made sure to order the bacon mac ‘n cheese to accompany our meal.

Yummy.