The hot dog industry was placed under the spotlight this past Monday when the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommended that hot dog makers change the shape of the tubular food item in order to be less of a choking hazard for kids.  The recommendation also targeted “hard candy, whole grapes, raw carrots, peanut butter, chewing gum, marshmallows, peanuts/nuts, popcorn and sausages.” 

Now, I am as much against kids choking to death as the next guy, but come on – tube-shaped foods are popular because mouths are round and they are easier to eat.  Round peg, meet round hole.  Hot dogs, brats, sausages, subs (grinders to the NE crowd), burritos, enchiladas, popsicles, etc. are all cylindrical, and mighty tasty.  Should they be redesigned because they are a potentially dangerous? – No.  OK, so kids eat hot dogs more than the other foods – solution: either don’t buy hot dogs for kids (also preventing childhood obesity – a plus), or cut them up!  Problem solved.  The same thinking applies to all the other foods that the AAP is warning people against.  Let’s all use a little common sense here so that we don’t have to enjoy government-mandated hot dog shakes at the next ball game (extra kraut in mine).

Speaking of the ball game, choking is not the only danger posed by wieners, as seen at a Kansas City Royals game last season here.

H/t to Ben’s Chili Bowl for the hot dog porn.  Obama loves it!

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So what’s the deal with this meat monstrosity? Archie McPhee describes what you get for your $79.95 investment:

Our bestselling Hot Dog Hideaway kit comes with enough cured deli slices and kosher dogs (Over 10 pounds!) to make a veritable McMansion of meat! Just follow the included blueprints and use the pate spackle to join it together and smooth over the rough edges. Not only will you get the complete Hot Dog Hideaway, but also a set of meat landscaping materials to make pimento loaf trees and meatball bushes.

Yummy. My favorite part of the description?

Note: This kit will only remain edible for three weeks without refrigeration.

ONLY three weeks? ONLY? We are talking about 10 pounds of meat here.  Shouldn’t the shelf life be even less than that?

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The Sara Lee suit, filed in U.S. District Court in Chicago, says the ad is false and misleading because in large type it implies one Oscar Mayer dog bested the taste of all Ball Park dogs. But the footnote, “in very small type,” says that Oscar Mayer compared its hot dogs to “the leading beef franks” of its main rivals.

H/t to Peta2 for the photo above of someone you will not find on OM’s YouTube channel.

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Huh? A hot dog vending machine? On the one hand I’m sure you’re thinking that sounds disgusting, but c’mon, is a hot dog really any less processed and full of preservatives than anything else you’d get out of a vending machine? So how does this new fangled contraption work?

The Hot Nosh vending machine will be under the supervision of the KOF-K kosher certification agency. It sears and cooks the refrigerated hot dogs using a special infrared heating element and warms the buns before dropping them into a Styrofoam container.

Styrofoam? Really? Really? So this company is all about helping people adhere to a strict dietary code, but they can’t be bothered to stop using a material that puts holes in the ozone layer?

Seriously though, a vending machine hot dog? I implore each and every Boston based So Good reader: please, please head over to Fenway and send me some pictures/reports about this vending machine. How does an infrared heated kosher hot dog from a vending machine taste? How does the machine work? Is it a machine devoted totally to hot dogs, or does it look like the machine above, with a variety of foods? Can you see the hot dog being made in front of you? Or does it just pop out of a slot at the bottom?

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Before the season began, I outlined some of the popular local eating establishments that joined up with the Nationals to provide food for the game. The food at this ballpark is insanely good. Lots of good variety everywhere, and it all appears to be of really high quality. The park features Ben’s Chili Bowl, Five Guys, Red, Hot & Blue, among other DC institutions. As you might expect, the lines for these well known spots were far longer than for other vendors.

My Ben’s half-smoke, “all the way” with chili, onions and mustard. Picture taken just moments before this tasty treat entered my stomach.

This is probably the point in time where I should admit that I have never had a half-smoke before. This is despite the fact that it is an entirely unique to DC food. If you’ve never heard of one before, it’s slightly larger than than a regular hot dog, spicier and with more coarsely ground meat. It is usually cooked on a grill rather than steamed, and it’s usually made with both beef and pork, although Ben’s are made with all-beef. Anyways…I knew for sure that I needed to try one. Fortunately, I quickly discovered that the “Ben’s half-smoke” was available at all the food stands, not just the Ben’s Chili Bowl stand.

Mark my words, the Ben’s half-smoke is going to be THE signature food for Nationals Park. Fenway has Fenway Franks, Dodgers have Dodger Dogs, we now have Ben’s half-smokes. Delicious.

One semi complaint. The food stands don’t each have their own signs. Everyplace has the name of their food stand in similar style glowing neon letters. If each food place had their own unique signs, it would make the inside tunnel areas where you get food feel a little bit less strip-mallish and give a little more character to each establishment.

Beer at the park appeared to be decent selection, including Stella on tap, and what appeared to be 20 or 22 oz cups at certain locations. The restaurant in Centerfield, called “Red Porch” is quite large, as is the “Red Loft” bar above it. It is a fully functioning bar, with bar stools, TV’s, a full cadre of liquor, and easy to view sight lines to the field, as it is located high up in left center.

Needless to say, I’m excited for many more future games, and many future hot dogs, burgers and sausages at the new park.

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