However, in most cases, the slick selling charlatan smartly ditched town quickly in fear of being lynch mobbed, after the duped residents got wise, realizing that bottle of whiskey diluted with blackberry juice & egg shells wasn’t going to cure rabies.

It seems everyone and their Grandma seemed to have a favorite home remedy they claimed  looked after everything from headaches to plow rash. It should come as no surprise that so many of these cures stem from everyday items easily accessible in any little house on a prairie. Food being the most readily available in most cases. I’m sure many a desperate Pioneer women tried to MacGyver anything from turnip to back bacon if it meant ridding their child of chicken pox.

Thanks to the internet, one can now document the time line of outlandish homegrown cures from the dawn of time to the present day. Who needs all those years of pesky and costly education when you can just tell a desperate person online to stick a bulb of garlic in his ear to cut down on a bad case of hiccups? Google has enabled everyone to become a snake oils salesmen in their own right. The fact these tips for curing what ails you are now free  and in most cases anonymous just makes it decidedly more scarier. Telling people your Grandmother swore by it doesn’t make it any less crazy. For all I know she has eighty cats & home cures her dander allergies using butter and a Civil War era bugle.

But they do make for a hilarious read.

Black Ants For Your Pants

Still used in some parts of the world today, black ants are said to be a powerful aphrodisiac. Gather a good amount, dry them out & grind them up. It’s suggested that you mix the powder into wine. Apparently anyone who downs this magical potion will soon become ferociously enamored. I’m sure the wine doesn’t hurt the cause either.

Have a Wart? Get to a Butcher

This one stems from Europe. If you have a wart you want gone quickly, just grab a piece of meat and apply directly to the unsightly blemish. Take the said meat and bury it in the ground. As it deteriorated and rots in the ground, the wart should subside directly. I also suggest Oscar Meyer bologna for cold sores.

Hangover Cure That Makes You Say – EWE!

According to historical notes, after pillaging, murdering and too much libation, Genghis Kahn and his troops would eat pickled sheep’s eyeballs and wash it down with a mixture of brine and tomato juice. Hmm, maybe the Bloody Mary originates from this Fear Factor worthy recipe.

Why Not Just Pee on It?

GoodHousekeeping.com notes that if you get stung by a jellyfish while enjoying a day at the beach, vodka will disinfect the wound, thus alleviating any discomfort by applying it directly over the affected area. I would imaging drinking a few shots of Grey Goose would easily ensure you’re no longer bothered by the sting either. Just saying.

Nose Bleed? Penny For Your Thoughts

Back in the Pioneer Days, when someone came down with a severe nose bleed, the town Doctor would always suggest this no fail remedy. Take 1 penny and place between the patients upper lip and teeth. It’s documented that this worked religiously.

 Onion Glad that Earache is Gone?

The Big Doctor’s Book of Home Remedies cites that cutting an Onion in half and baking at 350 degrees will help rid you of that nagging earache. When it’s soft, wrap it in a towel and hold over your ear. It helps draw out the infection and works great on babies, who don’t have to go to work and worry about being shunned by fellow employees because your head smells like a funky Greek salad. Another popular old fashioned use for a onion was to slice it in half, place it in a bowl of water so it would draw the sickness in the house away from everyone else. Classic.

Willy Wonka’s Corny Foot Mix

Do your feet resemble the sun damaged corinthian leather interior of  a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba? Head on down to the candy shop! Licorice contains estrogen-like substances that soften the hard skin of calluses and corns,” says the Institute of Whole Health. Make this homemade licorice paste: Grind up some black licorice, mix them with ½ teaspoon of petroleum jelly, and rub the mixture into the rough areas of your feet. Oompa Loompa approved!

No Need to Old Yeller That Feller

Did your dog swallow something he shouldn’t have? Marble, Lego Block etc? Evidently all dogs can go to heaven from this. Don’t worry about an expensive vet visit though. Just cut some ham up into cubes about 1 to 3 inches square, depending on the size of the dog. Allow the dog to eat as much as he will eat of the ham, then allow to drink as much water as he will. This bloats the ham they have eaten like a dry sponge in their stomach and will usually force any object out the cheap and easy way.

Give Sassafras a Chance

From a book of old Pioneer remedies comes this gem. Ladies if you are on bad terms with the husband, take an ample amount of sassafras root, steep in a pint of water and fill a bottle. When he comes back into the kitchen (this is from a book – please don’t direct angry “sexist” comments to me) take the biggest swig of this brew possible and hold it in your mouth until he goes away. A sure cure it says. Year later this remedy would be replaced by Couples counseling.

This article got me thinking about some of the healthy,fast, alternatives you may encounter. Before we dig in to that, I just wanted to say, Detroit? really Detroit is the the healthiest airport? Color me shocked. I’m not sure I quite agree with the article’s definition of healthy but it works. Looking at the list of what is available in Detroit, I do wonder what you can get at the Heineken lounge, besides a skunky beer, that qualifies as healthy. Certainly in a larger airport you would expect to have a greater variety. Here in my local airport we have one terminal where everything is fried in batches through one machine. You want a hotdog? The bartender drops a hot dog into the hopper, presses a button and in a few minutes it drops from a chute in the bottom. Pretty awesome if you think about it but certainly not healthy. You can get a clam pack salad though.

OK so you can find something good to eat in an airport, but how about on the highways. Here in NY we have the NYS Thruway with its many lanes and frequent rest stops it is the way to travel if you are heading across a large swathe of New York State. Even with an Easy Pass, you never really want to get off of the thruway, so the rest areas are the stop of choice. There was an initiative to try to change over many of the restaurants along to way to something that might be a better, healthier alternative, but if you are stopping in scenic Sloatsburg you might be in trouble. The initiative seems to have stalled pretty badly.

At least you can get some good coffee.

If you look hard you find  some ways to make it work on the road, but if it’s not a regular thing. Go ahead have the Cinnabon

 This food pyramid was the guiding principal to government lead food programs like school lunches, food stamps and W.I.C.

The pyramid was updated in 2005 to resemble a crazed pyramid shaped rainbow that required a degree in Mathematics to understand, or at the very least a tutorial on how to apply the pyramid to your daily life .

I’m pretty sure they were just trying to encourage us to eat more skittles or jelly beans. I honestly don’t even recall seeing this one get released. It must have come in with a whimper.

So now when you reach the top of the pyramid steps you get a plate. The governments new plan is a much more accessible and easy to understand diagram. Everyone knows how pie works.

Not only is the plate easier to understand as a concept it actually allows for someone to organize a meal with the appropriate volumes. I’m certain we can look forward to appropriately sized plates for school lunch programs where all a School Chef  needs to do is place the right volume of the right food into a section (I was actually really impressed by the passion of the “lunch ladies” in the previous link, it was cool to see.)

Amidst all of the discussion of late about Pizza becoming a vegetable it is important to see some of the effort the government is taking to help people eat better. Say all you want about nanny states protecting us from ourselves, when it comes to kids, and schools being the only place they might get 2 meals a day, I like seeing some progress towards meals that will be healthier.

While the plate on its surface, has many of the same issues as the old pyramids; like a lack of specific examples and details on portion sizes, the web page and PDFs mention whole grains specifically and portion sizing as important concepts. Marion Nestle had some really interesting thoughts on why the plate works, and where it doesn’t go far enough.

All in all I think it is a move in the right direction and I’m happy to say hello to the plate and goodbye to the pyramid.

There is also a related segment of this discussion about HFCS, and that is why it is so cheap, and why the surplus of corn is so vast that food manufacturers are shoving it in to products where it really has no business being.

But that isn’t what this article is all about. In the wake of the negative publicity HFCS is receiving, the Corn Refiners Association has decided on a new approach. “Let’s just rebrand HFCS as Corn Sugar, that way the people who are shopping and have been trained to avoid HFCS will be duped into buying our products again.” Oh wait, not duped; according to the Corn Refiners Association website  “Relabeling high fructose corn syrup as “corn sugar” would enable consumers to easily identify added sugars in the diet.”

Seriously? Intentionally obfuscating a standard household name for a product is going to make it easier for consumers?

Despite the fact that the Corn Refiners Association claims the name changed is approved by the FDA, the FDA would beg to differ. Unfortunately, the FDA is toothless in this case. They can’t prohibit the Corn Refiners from using the name as a part of their marketing, since it is not an actual product they, themselves, are selling. They can only go after manufacturers who use the name Corn Sugar as a part of their own product label. But will they?

It should be insulting that the corn processing industry thinks that consumers would fall for such a tactic, but sadly I think they are right. It could take the general public years to come to grips with this change in terminology, during which time much of the progress that has been made in educating consumers on which products should or shouldn’t contain added sweeteners would be lost.

Cue Debbie Downer.

While it is not news that fries pack on the pounds, the fact that they are the worst offender in a sea of tragically unhealthy choices is a sign that maybe the fried potatoes are the true monster lurking in your Happy Meal.

I love this infographic here, which points out how much American’s eating habits have changed for the worse.   It’s likely that french fries of all varieties have played no small part.

Does this affect the way you view the crisp, golden, salty sides?

Thanks to the Post for the graphic.

Here at So Good we write about all sorts of different restaurants and food chains – from fast food to sit-down fare to home cooking or more casual fare. Since we keep a special eye out for interesting marketing campaigns, we find ourselves writing with some frequency about big fast food chains – after all, they often have the most money to throw around and their food quality doesn’t usually speak for itself. These chains need to spend large amounts of money to entice consumers to give outrageous new products a try.

After years of writing all too often about fast food chains and products, I couldn’t be more excited to be leading the charge on the brand strategy for a company that stands for all the right things. It’s a great feeling to work for a company whose mission and values you completely believe in. Sweetgreen sources ingredients from local farmers and creates products that are healthy & fresh, but also delicious. Its silverware and packaging is 100% compostable and the company has a strong commitment to the environment and sustainability.  Founded in 2007 by 3 Georgetown graduates, it now features 7 stores in the greater DC area, two in Philadelphia, and continues to build a loyal customer following.

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Is this really the best way to ward off swearing? Any word you say in place of an expletive is going to carry the same amount of anger or derision; the fact that it’s now encased in a sickly-sweet word package doesn’t change the negativity.

Just think about it: a brick falls on dad’s foot and he screams, “Fudruckers!” while his kid watches on. Said kid is still going to be traumatized by dad’s screaming and anger. Plus, dad has just forever tainted the image of what would have been a delightful hamburger establishment.

Some other popular unsettling swear word replacements I gathered from various parenting websites:

“Aw, peaches!”

“Son of a biscuit!”

“Oh, fish paste!”

“Good gravy!”

“Asset crackers!” (I don’t get this one)

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Well, the fact that I will never be able to eat fudge again without thinking of your barely-restrained outrage is rude and upsetting to me.

I’d rather you just go for the gold and swear at me, or not swear at all.

What are your experiences with using food names to avoid swearing? Share your cheesy, disturbing, and clever submissions in the comments section below.

I have never been a huge fan of Whole Foods, despite my affinity for great produce and knowledgeable employees.  It might be my imagination, but that store has always been a little too snooty for me.  I love grocery shopping, but am not looking to pick up my game before I hit the market.  That said, I read today that the grocery chain granted over 500 salad bars to schools due to a fundraising campaign they ran last September.  This campaign, called the Salad Bar Project, generated donations totaling $1.4million.  I love this idea, and loved this even more:

“To make an even larger impact in lunchrooms across the country, Whole Foods Market announced it is a founding partner of Let’s Move Salad Bars to Schools, whose goal is to provide 6,000 salad bars across the nation by 2013.”

Knowing all the garbage that many kids eat at school (corn dogs, microwaved pizzas, french fries, etc.) – in the absence of healthy options – this fundraiser is a big step in the right direction towards getting kids to eat better, and forming healthier habits, hopefully for life.  Cheers to Whole Foods for this effort.

What do you think of this campaign?  Does this affect your opinion of Whole Foods?

H/t to Eater for the scoop.  The press release is here.

If you’re anything like me, it seems like the holidays are just an excuse to go from one pie to another, leaving you a little wider come January. Therefore, instead of offering a luscious, butter-filled sweet recipe in this space, I thought a better idea would be to share a slightly healthier one. I found this in the April issue of Real Simple, and it really lives up to its name of Easy Granola. Granola is shockingly expensive in the grocery store, and this version is just as good (and fresher). I am not advocating this over pies and sweets as a whole, but a swap every once and a while might help the waistline a bit.  My additions are bracketed below.

Easy Toss-and Bake Granola
Ingredients:
* 4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (not quick cooking)
* 1 cup sliced almonds [Or walnuts, pecans, etc. – these have all worked for me]
* 1/2 cup shredded coconut (preferably unsweetened) [As a coconut lover, I go a full cup]
* 1/4 cup unsalted pepitas (hulled pumpkin seeds) or shelled sunflower seeds [I prefer a ½ cup]
* 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
* 2 tablespoons canola oil
* 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1 cup dried fruit (such as cherries, cranberries, raisins, or currants) [the cranberries and pepitas offer a little holiday flare]

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350° F. On a rimmed baking sheet, toss the oats, almonds, coconut, and pepitas with the maple syrup, oil, and salt. [A tsp of vanilla extract as well as cinnamon doesn’t hurt either.]
2. Bake, tossing once, until golden and crisp, 25 to 30 minutes. [I disagree here - make sure to take out and toss every 7/8 min or so – or the top layer will burn – especially the coconut.]
3. Add the dried fruit and toss to combine. Let cool.

This one is a winner and is great for snacking or for having a big bowl of cereal (and it won’t change the color of your milk!).  And of course, So Good is an expert on granola, so trust us – we’re professionals.

So Good readers, it’s time to throw out everything you ever knew about dieting and weight loss. Seriously – trash those untouched copies of The South Beach Diet and Jenny Craig workout DVDs (admit it to yourself: she was never all that attractive, anyway). Because this guy has found a new way to lose weight: eating Twinkies.

According to NBC, Kansas State nutrition professor Mark Haub lost 30 pounds over ten weeks consuming almost nothing but the deep-fried, abominable treats – one every three hours, to be exact. He actually ended up taking in less calories per day (2,600 to 1,800), demonstrating the supreme power of eating in moderation. Other healthy steps: supplementing his highly-processed diet with such nutritional mainstays as Oreos and Doritos, with the occasional multivitamin and can of green beans.

Who is this guy? He’s a nutrition professor, so  he can’t possibly ascribe to the myth that less weight equals better health. He must know the implications all this trash has for his body. Hell, this doesn’t even sound enjoyable.

Now, I’m not about to discount what is almost certainly the childhood dream of every person ever: eating candy all the time. But once you get past the initial glow of eater’s liberation, the idea of actually subsisting on nothing but a singular Twinkie every three hours just sounds like a horrible existence.

What do you think, So Good readers? Would you follow this Spurlockian charlatan into the golden halls of Twinkie-dieting, or pop in the next Jenny and ignore this gutbomb of an undertaking?