You can’t truly fathom the bitter disappointment a Father must feel each Christmas as he unwraps sock after sock. That is until it happens to you. Maybe it doesn’t take form in a pile of argyle fail but there’s certainly always something under the tree from a relative or friend who shopped at “I Don’t [...]

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After last week’s 12 Days of Christmas Dinner, I had plenty of people contact me, wondering how I function on a day to day basis as I am clearly insane. (Some say madness and brilliance teeter precariously on a thin line. A thin line I have named George.) They also asked for me to offer [...]

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Other than a few bouts of poisoning and the occasional hardening of an artery here or there, food hasn’t done wrong by me. Sure there have been a few bumps in our relationship over the years. But for every steak cooked to death at the hands of an inept line cook or an under seasoned [...]

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To some, the beloved Holiday tradition of taking time each day to open one window on a shoddily crafted cardboard house, only to be rewarded with a paltry subpar piece of waxy chocolate that would enrage even the most lax Willy Wonka quality control Oompa foreman could seem a tad odd. Advent Calendars may seem [...]

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Much like taking their kids to be terrorized by an inebriated Mall Santa or putting up a kajillion lights while spewing profanity that would make a Merchant Seaman blush, some don’t consider it the Holiday season until they’ve had a delicious glass of their beloved eggnog. What’s the allure of a drink that smells like [...]

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Whether they be stacked or stripped, Malls have made many notable contributions to the lives of maxed out, credit card carrying North Americans. Malls are where the art of loitering is refined, questionable Santas are given jobs, Flash Mobs prey upon the weak & minimum wage serfs make up the now legendary 99%. Without these [...]

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I often ponder on where particular sayings related to food in pop culture originate from. I don’t lose sleep over it mind you, however, it’s always been an interest of mine. Think of me as “CSI: Too much time on my hands.” I’m sure you don’t have to be a twenty-one day Jeopardy Champ to [...]

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The Fast Food Drive Thru has been servicing the motorized masses since 1948. Cornering that lucrative niche of hunger panged folks, too lazy to exit the vehicle, too impatient to stand in line or who just want to be alone with their Burrito, on the freeway, doing 70 mph with a Fries Supreme balancing on [...]

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If you woke up yesterday morning, still harboring a mini Snickers hangover, you may have noticed something odd amongst some of your male co-workers appearance. Had aliens come to earth and began liberating facial hair for some type of extraterrestrial experiment for Mars? Is there some type of burgeoning cult that demands its growing legions [...]

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Dogs only fear three things in life. Vet Visits, Thunder & Halloween. Man’s best friend is always on a vigilant lookout for pumpkins, as they represent impending humiliation. Each time this year our beloved companions are subjected to a relatively new and horrifying ritual. Having tired of dressing up babies and toddlers in lavish Halloween [...]

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