Stabbing food with sticks and toting them around as you nibble isn’t anything new. Any toothpick will tell you that. In recent years however, this type of delivery system has mutated to the point of excess, thanks in no small part to State & County Fair vendors trying to become the next deep fried Snickers [...]

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Only a few days until you’ll be scrambling for that last minute Father’s Day gift. Like so many before you, possessing limited creativity and/or an anemic bank account, it will likely boil down to the tried and true “eeny meeny miny mo” method of either socks or a necktie. Some call these the classics. Your [...]

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I lost my Urban Legend virginity to “Mikey”, the picky pitch kid for “Life” cereal during the 70′s. I can still vividly recall the first time hearing about his “Final Destination” worthy death many years ago, as the story made the rabid rounds at my middle school playground. For the two people who’ve never heard [...]

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For many of us, candy and /or bubble-gum cigarettes offered a prepubescent run at sticking it to the “Man”. Packs of sugared smokes sold like hotcakes at local corner stores with the sole purpose of taking sinful mock drags during Recess, while your 5th grade teacher looked on with a disapproving scowl. Most would argue [...]

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In case you haven’t had the pleasure of viewing the now very viral video of “Clueless” & “Batman & Robin” actress Alicia Silverstone, feeding her young son “Bear” premasticated food, well far be it from me to deprive you from this gem being added to that dark vault in the back of your mind containing  [...]

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Days after the Shamrock Shake gets unceremoniously escorted from the Golden Arches, the Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry appears in all its soft serve majesty. Some look to chirpy robins decimating a worm family reunion on their front lawn as the first sign of Spring. Myself, it’s sensuous tango of chocolate and nougat whirled together into [...]

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Over the next few weeks, I’ll be delving into the Hype, History & Hysteria revolving around a once elusive fast food item that is making a bigger splash this year in many more fast food fanatic circles. In the weeks leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, Ronald McDonald is making it easier for you to [...]

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Growing up in a Catholic household, I am well versed in Lent. For those of you not in the know,  Lent is a time of abstinence, of giving things up in the weeks leading up to Easter. For a kid growing up in a semi-observant Christian household, this may have boiled down to cutting out [...]

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Meetings make me tired. There’s something about a vanilla Power Point presentation set against dimmed office lighting that instantly propels me into free danish assisted hibernation. Maybe it’s an evolutionary defense mechanism 9-5er’s have bred to avoid being subjected to monotony.  If I haven’t managed to down three cups of Sanka before one of these [...]

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As you sit down to a table full of wings, chips, burgers and dips this SuperBowl Sunday, imagine being able to devour truck loads of these delicious items as a profession. Glamor, prestige & unlimited wet naps could be yours right? Meet Crazy Legs Conti;  a man with one lofty goal in life. His dream? [...]

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