Via Next Round and Jock and Balls.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

(Disclosure: As I’ve mentioned before, I do social media consulting for Domino’s, but this clip is too amusing for me not to post!)

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

So how terrible would this be: you’ve been taken prisoner in North Korea. You don’t know when you’re coming home – you could rot in jail for the rest of your life.  You finally get released, and here is the photo that the national/international news media uses (from CNN frontpage):

Hahahahahaha. Look, I know this woman just went through the extremely unpleasant/horrible ordeal of being held hostage by a vicious dictatorship that is part of the “Axis of Evil”, but there is something hilariously comical about CNN using a photo of the woman holding a giant sub/hero/hoagie/grinder. I mean, seriously, was that the ONLY photo they could find of her? You would think CNN would have tracked down a normal, respectable photo. You would think that would have been something they would have done a few months ago, like, I dunno, how about RIGHT AFTER SHE WAS TAKEN HOSTAGE???

Doesn’t this woman have a Facebook page? Vacation photos? A family they could have contacted for a better picture? A headshot from her employer’s website? Then again, maybe I don’t know the full details here. Maybe they did contact the family, and this is the photo they supplied to CNN. Heck, maybe CNN even said “uh, are you sure you want to use a photo with that giant sandwich in it?” to which they probably responded, “she LOOOOVES sub sandwiches. When she is released, nothing will make her happier than to know that the photo of her that appeared on the news showed her with a giant sandwich.”

Kind of makes me afraid that if I ever die, get lost in the mountains for days, or am taken hostage, the newspapers will randomly settle on this as a stock photo:

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

H/T to Endless Simmer.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

“In tough economic times, more people than ever are turning to fast food options as a way to stretch their paycheck.  Playboy.com has taken note of this trend with its own ‘video salute’ to lunchtime. The site’s editors recognized that Quiznos seems to have a good sense of humor about their brand, and didn’t hesitate in selecting them as one of the best bargains out there.”

When pressed with specific questions about if Quiznos had knowledge of the video’s release or gave tacit approval of the video, Playboy did not directly address my question, but simply replied with this statement:

“Playboy.com is responsible for the video and put it together as its ’salute to lunchtime’.”

Does the mystery continue?

Update: Confusion is swirling online as to whether or not Quiznos had any involvement in making this video.  We knew all along that it was produced by Playboy, but the assumption from most seemed to be that the prominent featuring of a Quiznos sub made clear Quiznos was part of it. AdAge reports that they have spoken with Quiznos, and the company has denied any involvement in the ad. However, many bloggers seem skeptical.

Jezebel:

“It seems unlikely that Playboy independently produced a viral video advertising their sandwiches.”

The Denver Egotist:

“We’re calling bullshit, especially after watching that creepy sex-addled talking oven spot they’ve been running.”

Adrants:

“We can’t help but wonder just how many people over at Quiznos are loving (even hoping) this thing gets as much exposure as it’s getting. We still think there’s some shenanigans going on here.”

Cafe Society:

“We say bullshit. We’ve seen those creepy mutant hamster commercials and “Put it in me” talking-oven spots, so we know for a fact that the folks at Quiznos are sick enough to make this ad happen.”

Original Post:

Oh. My. God. I cannot believe that Quiznos made this ad.  First off, for those of you unfamiliar, this ad title/concept is based off the popular viral internet video “2 girls, 1 cup.” If you haven’t seen the video before, don’t bother looking it up. I can’t even begin to describe it to you in any level of detail without losing half my readers, but lets just say that it involves 2 women, eating, a cup, human excrement, and vomit. Enough. I don’t even want to say more.

Well some marketing genius over at Quiznos decided that a phrase (2 girls, 1 cup) that most users of the internet associate with one of the most disgusting, revolting and abhorrent things they have ever seen in their lives, should also be associated with the Quiznos brand name! Yay! Think Quiznos! Think human feces and vomit!

The execution of the ad is no less appalling than the fact that some moron even thought up this idea in the first place.  Two months ago, we asked in good fun if the new Padma Lakshmi Hardee’s commercial was “Soft Core Porn.” Ha! We were just joshing you. Compared to that ad, this one is like Deep Throat 7 – Tonsil’s Revenge. We also wondered if the Stacker 2 “6 hour power” ad was the most sexually explicit ad ever. Ha! That ad might as well have featured bunny rabbits and snowflakes compared to this one.

A YouTube video of the commercial is below the fold. I will tell you that while there is no nudity, this ad is about as NSFW as it can possibly be short of nudity or actual sexual intercourse – pay attention to those headphones people, there is plenty of sound! Be sure to keep reading on for my full thoughts on why this is such a horrendously awful ad.

So we have a few problems here. For starters, readers of this blog know that I think Quiznos sandwiches taste disgusting. I was already associating them with excrement and vomit. Now Quiznos has basically taken the next step and formalized my suspicions: even people in their marketing department can see the link between the taste of human excrement and vomit and the taste of their sandwiches! Otherwise, how would they have thought up this ad?

The next issue, of course, is that the two models, 21 year old Kari Nautique, and Playboy playmate Hiromi Oshima, are making noises, and writhing around, as if they are mid-orgasm while eating the sandwich. Not to mention deliberately allowing the “mayo” to become smeared all over their faces from their messy eating. I don’t even think we need to broach the subject of the phallic shape of Quizno’s sandwiches.  Oh yeah, and of course, they are sitting on a bench wearing bikinis while eating the sandwich, because why wouldn’t they be?

Now as a 28 year-old male, I’m not complaining about a hot 21 year-old in a bikini. Besides, sex sells. I get it, and I don’t have a problem with that. But who is the target market for this ad? Obviously not women. Probably not old people.   I’m guessing 18 – 34 year old males is the exact target demographic they are going for.  Well, I fall into that demographic.  When I’m watching an ad that is trying to sell me something using sex, I should either be turned on by it or excited by the idea of watching it. Watching this ad, I felt neither of those things. I felt gross, icky and uncomfortable just watching it from the privacy of my own desk and computer screen.  That’s me, a 28 year-old male. Imagine how offended/uncomfortable a woman of any age or a parent might be when they see this? Oh, and I never even mentioned the fact that Quiznos made this ad in collaboration with Playboy.

Now I could make some bold proclaimation like “I will never eat at Quizno’s again!” but that would be meaningless, because I never eat at Quizno’s anyways, because their food is horrid.  But if you are a parent, and you ever take your kid to Quizno’s, stop doing so immediately. Seriously. I’m not into drawing lines for how far advertising should go, but this ad makes anti-line-drawers suddenly realize that yep, now that I’ve seen this, I know the definition of crossing the line, and this is it.

So just to re-cap the stupidity of Quizno’s on this:

• Name our ad after the most disgusting viral video ever? Check.
• Offend anyone over the age of 35 and probably almost any female? Check.
• Make even your target demo of 18-34 year old males feel uncomfortable? Check.

and finally……

• Associate your food with BOTH human excrement AND vomit? CHECK.

Well, you did it Quiznos. You made possibly the most appaling, offensive commercial possible. Now thousands, if not millions, of people who weren’t already doing so will begin to associate your food with vomit and shit. Reapeat after me: Quiznos = vomit & shit, vomit & shit, vomit & shit. Well done Quiznos marketing department, well done.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

The first episode does contain a food related prank – splitting Carlie Smith’s hot pocket in half while it’s in the microwave so that one half comes out hot and the other cold. Check out the first episode below:

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

H/T Bacon Unwrapped.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

My stumbling across this video was good timing, as I had just finished reading an interview with the CEO of Carl’s Jr. at Fast Food Maven.  Andrew Puzder, chief executive for Carl’s Jr.’s parent company CKE Restaurants, initially blamed the downturn on rivals selling cheaper, lower-quality food.  However, in his interview with Fast Food Maven he discusses a number of different issues about Carl’s Jr., including the advertisements.

Pointing out that the chain only spends $60 million a year on advertising while competitors spend hundreds of thousands millions, Puzder argues:

We can’t compete with those brands…with nicey, cutesy ads. When you see our ads,  you see them once, and you remember it.

When asked if he agrees with some critics who call their ads offensive, he responds:

Nobody is trying to offend anyone…But if we run vanilla ads, this company won’t exist.

Looks like Carl’s Jr. is standing behind their ads. What do you think?

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Seems like a pretty adult oriented ad for a commercial that is promoting kids meals. Trying to convince parents to take their kids to Burger King? Also, what’s the message to kids? Booty is booty?

H/T to So Good commenter Youppi.

Update: SongSpeak posts video of the full song/music video as well as the full lyrics of the song.  He also asks the obvious question that still must be asked:

Is it wise to use a song that glorifies fat asses to advertise a fast food restaurant that gives people…well…fat asses?

The full music video appears below:

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

That’s the hate part of my view of Jim Gaffigan. The love part? This dude talks about food ALL the time.  Courtesy of our friends at the Bacon Salt Blog, comes a video clip from his upcoming special, “King Baby” where he discusses bacon.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

(Click on bracket to see a larger, easier to read version)

There are no rules and no criteria other than to answer the question: “What is the #1 meat?” You can base your vote on taste, cost, convenience, prestige, flavor…anything you want.  Just like the NCAA tournament, when a team from the East coast will randomly get sent into the Western bracket, there are a couple minor exceptions with our regions.  For example, Rabbit has been placed in the Poultry Region and the “Red” Meat Region contains a few reddish meats that technically aren’t actually red meat (Lamb, Veal, Venison).

Obviously March is the time of year when people do brackets for everything – and So Good is no exception. I don’t know if something like Meat Madness has been done before, but this is certainly the debut offering of such a tournament on So Good.  There are similar brackets going on right now, such as Washingtonian’s Burger Bracket to determine the best burger in DC.

On Wednesday we will begin voting on our first round match-ups. Two first round match-ups a day for 8 days, then we move on to the second round.  Finally, thanks must be given to one of my readers, Jenelle, who suggested this idea to me 4-5 months ago.  I’ve patiently been sitting on the idea until the NCAA tournament arrived (which was really tough because I LOVE the idea of  a Meat Madness bracket!).

Click “Read More” to see each Region up close and read a little analysis of some of the early match-ups we have to look forward to.

We have four regions, “Red” Meat Region, Poultry Region, Pork Region and Seafood Region. Let’s take a look at each one.

First up, the “Red” Meat region.  Steak (1), Lamb (2), Ground Beef (3) and Veal (4) are the top 4 seeds in this bracket, and I think there is no doubt that Steak and Ground Beef are forces to be reckoned with.  Will Lamb be able to protect its #2 seed? Or will Corned Beef present a threat in the midst of Lent?  Veal and Buffalo could be an interesting first round match-up as well.

The Poultry region presents us with a wide-range of tasty birds – plus Rabbit.  The top four seeds are Chicken (1), Turkey (2), Duck (3) and Rabbit (4).  Will the more widely used and readily available Chicken and Turkey prove impossible to stop? Or will advocates emerge for more tasty alternatives?

The Pork Region sees a bevy of 8 different meats all coming from the same animal.  The top 4 seeds are Bacon (1), Sausage (2), Prosciutto (3) and Ham (4).  Yes, I am aware that Prosciutto IS Ham, but we are going by the English definition here.  According to Wikipedia, “in English the word is almost always used for an aged, dry-cured, spiced Italian ham that is usually sliced thin and served uncooked.”  Bacon has proven to be the darling of the food blogosphere in the past year, but this bracket is stacked from top to bottom. Potential upsets abound with extremely strong lower seeds in Pulled Pork (5), Pepperoni (6) and Ribs (7).

The Seafood Region is just that – seafood.  The top 4 seeds are Lobster (1), Scallops (2), Salmon (3) and Tuna (4).  Like the Pork Region, this region has depth – Crab (6) and Shrimp (5) look like potential first round sleepers, and Clams (8) and Mussels (7) both certainly have their supporters.

Voting on first round match-ups will begin on Wednesday.  Use the comments on this post to predict potential first round upsets, your pick to win the title, or any debates over seeding.  Let the Meat Madness begin!

Bookmark It

Hide Sites