What is your favorite type of candy to buy for the kiddies (or get dropped in your plastic pumpkin bucket, you adult wierdo)?

Do you like the decadence of a Reese’s? The fresh pop of Skittles? The anticipation of a Starburst (“Will I get a pink one? Will I? Will I?”)? The nutty complexity of Snickers? Or maybe the simplicity of a classic Hershey’s bar?

Vote for your favorite Halloween candy below, and explain your choice in the comments. Let me know if I missed any!

Option #1: Eat 5 pounds of candy corn

Option #2: Eat 5 pounds of Necco wafers.

Share in the comments why you made the choice you did.

That’s because in this day in age, we have to contend with an entirely new breed of Halloweener. This generation of cul-de-sac cruisers come calling with attitude and technology to spare. Pleasing them is tough, as 364 days of constant coddling by their parental Yes Men have endowed them with illusions of Gossip Girl level self worth. Yes that’s right, all savvy spooky night solicitors are surly iPads, while you are a befuddled and dusty Atari 2600 sitting on your Martha Stewart Living decorated porch with a Halloween pail full of candy fail awaiting judgment.

Here are a few tips on how to survive, and better yet, deter the impending onslaught of your neighborhood boys and ghouls this October 31st. The fewer twelve year olds dressed up as Snooki and the Situation sauntering up to your door begging for hand-outs (please note this foreshadowing Jersey Shore cast), the better off you are in retaining any glimmer of hope for our future.

• If you’re looking to reduce foot traffic at your home on Halloween, ensure that you begin giving out healthy snacks such as granola or raisins early in the evening. Hippie Houses, as they are often coined amongst Tween circles can be instantly blacklisted via Facebook and Twitter updates resulting in a dramatic drop in doorbell rings.
• Try Instituting “Halloween Idol” at your front door. This only requires three people and a small card table. Once word gets out that you are judging costumes and giving out treats in accordance to creativity and originality, you will instantly ensure Teens with half ass outfits consisting of nothing but a dollar store wig or last minute garbage bag attire will move on.
• Buy a house with a long and/or steep driveway. According to most government reports and frequently credible episodes of “Maury”, all kids today are obese creatures that when faced with exercise will give up immediately and move on. Actually they won’t even move on. It’s more akin to continental drift. Unless you are dispensing free double dip soft serve with sprinkles or mashed potato scented asthma inhalers, you will instantly cut out 50-70% of potential Trick or Treat contenders.

Here’s a short list on the right ammunition required to help your front door get instantly brandished with a scarlet letter by pint size snack critics and surly teens alike. Remember, less knocks on the door means more leftover Hershey’s Miniatures for you.

• Candy Corn: Each year they come out with new flavors for this faux maize butter bomb. My Grandfather was a wise man and often he would use a quote which I believe sums up Candy Corn’s annual attempt at a confectionery come back. “You can put lipstick on a pig but in the end it’s still a pig.”
• Candy Kisses: Inert blobs of congealed molasses are hardly something I would associate to a kiss. Sure I had a Great Aunt who smothered me with pecks which always left sticky Werther’s Original residue all over my face. I’d take an eternity of that weirdness over having to consume one Candy Kiss. The first thing I would do upon returning home after Trick or Treating was sift through my take like a crazed Gold Miner seeking out the yellow and orange wrapped witch poop so I could exorcise them to the nearest trash can.
• Apples: There has been this Urban Legend which has persisted for eons. It tells the tale of one unfortunate kid who found a razor blade in his apple. To this day I believe this story was created by a group of paranoid children who thought getting this myth out there would in effect halt the chances of anyone ever giving out Granny Smith’s ever again. Unless the apple is smothered in caramel and impaled on a stick, this item should be stricken as a Halloween Treat option.
• Plain Potato Chips: In this era of Lunch size Doritos and mini Pringles tins why is it that people see it fit to settle on offering plain Lays? Or worse yet, those generic bags that always seem to be plagued with a plethora of those nasty green edges? Every kid knows the street value in a cafeteria for a bag of plain chips is half a day old tuna sandwich. Maybe the bottom remnants of a pudding cup at best.
• Raisins: You know who came up with the saying “Nature’s Candy”? The National Let’s Make Raisins Hip Board that’s who. The raisin is the Trojan horse of the junk food world. Show me a kid who pulls a mini bag of Raisnettes out of his loot bag and screams “Hooray! Chocolate covered raisins” and I’ll show you a kid who is home schooled.

If you’ve decided to move forward with any of these kiddy Kryptonite ideas I have provided, please ensure your property damage insurance is up to date. Either that or you’ve invested in a new power washer. Hell hath no fury like a twelve year old deprived of their annual entitled hand out.

What are some of the most hated items that you’ve discovered slumming at the bottom of your Trick or Treat pillow case?

In grade school, my friends and I engaged in a curious and meaningless practice – we would dump out our Skittles, organize them into rainbow order, and eat each color separately. Later on in life, I decided this was too much work and took to dumping the whole packet (if it was a little one) into my mouth at once. This resulted in a giant ball of saccharin awesome-ness that would last for at least five minutes.

How do you eat your Skittles, So Good readers? The rainbow order way? All at once? The regular way? Or maybe you prefer to make adult beverages out of them? Let us know and explain your method in the comments below!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Wow. That’s pretty blatant. To say right on your wrapper that your product is “Not For Girls”??? After seeing this, I was wondering how Nestle didn’t take some flack for it. I mean, I’m a comedian, marketing guy and food blogger, who finds things like this mildly amusing. But surely other people must think/have thought this is a pretty sexist marketing tactic, no? I mean we wouldn’t tolerate a candy bar that say’s “It’s Not for (insert ethnic group, minority group, political group, religion etc. here).”

Turns out this campaign has been around quite a while, launching in the spring of 2002. At the time it did catch some flack. When the campaign first launched, it used slogans in TV ads and on posters such as: “It’s not for girls”, “don’t feed the birds”, “not available in pink” and “King size, not Queen size.” Wow. The back of the wrapper even features the phrase “Do Not Feed the Birds” (In Britain, “bird” is a slang term for woman or girl). The wrapper was supplemented with TV ads in which the only way girls could buy a Yorkie bar was to try and dress up to pretend and be a guy:

Yorkie/Nestle, when they released the ads, talked about “reclaiming” chocolate bars for men, since so much of chocolate advertising is aimed at women. This Yorkie campaign attempts to make eating chocolate bars a thing that is ok for gruff, manly men to do again.

Well So Good readers, what do you think? A little harmless fun by Nestle? A deliberately controversial campaign that was made purely to draw attention and press? Blatentently sexist? A subtle appeal to women by trying to entice them into buying something they “shouldn’t” be trying to buy? Effective? Ineffective? Offensive? Fun?

And then? Well I don’t know what happened then. Do you? The product was released with not enough fanfare for me to originally notice. They launched a Facebook page and made some “edgy” YouTube videos like this one. Someone even launched a Twitter account calling it “the worst product of all time.” That Twitter account has been inactive since March 2009, the Facebook page no longer exists, and as far as I can tell there have been no new videos made in a couple years. There is still a page for the product on the Butterfinger website, but when you click “get the details” on Butterfinger Buzz events, they’re all listed for dates in 2009.

So why do I ask about this product now? Because the traffic driving geniuses at Buzzfeed featured a post a few days ago on the front page of their Food Buzz section titled “Butterfinger, now with added caffeine!” The word “now” of course, usually indicates a recent product development or change, but Butterfinger Buzz is anything but that. This is something created 2 1/2 years ago that may or may not still exist.

Supposedly the product was originally available at Wal-Greens and 7-11. I ask my eagle-eyed So Good readers – have you ever seen this product before? Was it two years ago? Have you seen it in stores recently? If it does exist, where is it sold? If it doesn’t why does Butterfinger STILL have a webpage for it up? DOES THIS BIGFOOT OF THE CANDY WORLD STILL EXIST? Or was it all just a brief enigma or figment of our imaginations?

Have any of you had the patience to find out the answer to this question yourself? In other words, when you eat a sucker, do you lick it until the end? Or do you give in and…CRUNCH!!!

Cast your votes, and if you know the answer to the famous question, for the love of God, explain in the comments.