Miss Michigan, Nicole Blaszczyk, perhaps with consideration for the ailing Michigan economy, decided to highlight a particular Michigan based company: Kellogg’s cereal.  While I can’t find the transcript online, and the video clips of the introduction portion on YouTube are mysteriously missing Miss Michigan, to paraphrase she came out and essentially said:

“From the birthplace of breakfast cereal and home of Kellogg’s, did you eat your Wheaties this morning?”

Cute right? And a nice shout-out for Kellogg’s. There’s just one problem: Kellogg’s doesn’t make Wheaties. It’s biggest competitor, General Mills does (which is based in Minnesota). Wheaties is also considered to be huge direct competition for one of Kellogg’s flagship cereals, Corn Flakes.  Whoops!

Seems like an innocent mistake, but she probably had weeks to work on that intro.  Wouldn’t it have made sense to make sure you were actually citing a Kellogg’s brand cereal in the intro?

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In case you miss it live, the site lets you replay the footage of that day’s shower song so there is incentive to check back each day. The site also lets users help decide what song she will sing the next morning, and which bikini she will wear (see burger themed bikini above and fried egg themed bikini below).

In a time where you get used to seeing nothing but ultra skinny supermodels in ads, it is interesting to note that the woman they selected for this, while certainly attractive, falls more into the average-build, girl next door kind of look, rather than the “oh my god I’m looking at a supermodel showering” kind of look.  Oh, and one other thing, those of you that saw the site can confirm: her singing is TERRIBLE. I mean really not good at all. There will be no Britain’s Got Talent auditions for this young lady.

Now I’m certainly not the first one to report on this, as Mashable, BrandChannel and AdRants all posted about it in mid-December.  What is interesting, however, is that no one seems to have realized that this promotion/webpage was gone almost as soon as it appeared.  Fast Food Maven posted about the Shower Babe on December 26th, inviting her readers to watch the Shower Babe and share their thoughts – apparently totally unaware that by Wednesday, December 23rd, the site wasn’t even live anymore, and the previous ShowerCam URL re-directed people to a new page devoted to the Whopper and promoting the fact that at Burger King “Taste is King.”

So what’s up with the idea to promote Burger King through a girl singing in the shower? While Burger King has not been afraid to release some highly questionable and offensive sexually laced ads in the past, featuring a woman showering, live on camera, may be a new low (high?) for Burger King’s advertising strategy.  Initially, a BK spokesperson defended the website, noting:

“Our research showed that breakfast is a male-centric audience for Burger King; it doesn’t resonate as well with women – we are targeting the people who are buying breakfast.”

Oh. Wait. You are promoting Burger King Breakfast???? I didn’t realize that, I was too distracted WATCHING A WOMAN SHOWERING. Breakfast. Right. That makes sense, because you shower in the morning, then head out to get a BK breakfast sandwich. It all makes sense now. Uh, yeah.

Now your typical guy will probably be pathetically lured into this, because c’mon, we’re guys and we’re weak. We’ll watch live based on the .ooooo1% chance that something will go wrong and her bikini will accidentally burst off, exposing the BK Shower Babe for all the world to see. Sorry kiddos, but there is definitely no nudity, these videos are about as CLEAN as it gets (Haha! See what I did there? Clean? Huh? Clean? Get it? Cause it’s a shower?  Comedy GOLD).

The question to ask now is not what possessed Burger King to launch this website, but rather why did they take it down in basically two weeks time? Now I’m sure the official BK company line is that they always planned for this to be a quick promotion and it ran its course…blah, blah, blah. Bullshit. If the site was getting flooded with millions of visitors and drawing favorable coverage left and right, they would have definitely kept the site running. Furthermore, even if they only contracted the woman to do two weeks worth of showers (wow, it feels dirty just writing that…haha! get it? dirty?) wouldn’t they re-hire her for additional weeks if it proved to be a viral hit? Or even if the promotion had run its course, why not leave the site up for people to watch the old videos rather than essentially hiding its existence behind a re-direct to a new “Taste is King” promotion?

My guess? Burger King saw the consumer, online and press reaction to this and decided to pull the plug prematurely.  While Burger King doesn’t shy away from controversial advertising that gets people talking, this campaign had a notably stalker-esque and creepy feel to it. For a company that already centers so much of its marketing around a creepy, stalkerish mascot, it may have decided, in retrospect, that allowing its customers to watch a woman showering was just one small, creepy step away from drilling a Porky’s style  peep-hole in a woman’s locker room so that Burger King consumers online could feast their eyes on a bevy of Burger Shots.

I don’t expect Burger King to admit this of course, but that’s my theory.

Farewell BK Shower Babe, we hardly knew you.

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No, that is not a Halloween disguise or temporary tattoo on the corn flake cereal icon.  Rather, in an effort to maintain its corn flake brand identity, Kellogg’s is going slightly above and beyond to set itself above second-rate flake manufacturers.  The potential plan, or should I say, boondoggle, it to literally give each flake an etched seal of approval so that people know what they are eating.  As explained by Kellogg’s lead food technologist (doesn’t that sound delicious):

“In recent years there has been an increase in the number of own brands trying to capitalise on the popularity of Kellogg’s corn flakes. We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg’s does not make cereal for anyone else. We’re constantly looking at new ways to reaffirm this and giving our golden flakes of corn an official stamp of approval could be the answer.”

The fact that someone actually thought it would be a good idea to burn the Kellog’s name onto each flake is mind-boggling.  I can’t even imagine how they would physically do this, or the poor soul that would have to QC the stamped product.  And you know it is only a matter of time before there is a typo.  And the taste?  I love burnt etchings on all my food.  Overall, I haven’t heard an idea quite this good since food pioneer Clark W. Griswold’s non-nutritive cereal varnish.  Legendary.

H/t to Paste for the info.

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Today I stumbled across a relatively new Corn Pops commercial called “Dragon Dreams.”  The title was intriguing, so I gave it a watch. I don’t know what else I should have expected from something that used both the word “Dragon” and the word “Dreams” in its title, but this entire commercial was like one giant acid trip right from the get go.

Now I know kids have this crazy active thing we like to call an “imagination”, and thus kids ads are different, but is there any type of food product with ads that are anywhere in the same ballpark as cereal ads in terms of trippiness?  Liquid Generation even put together a compilation video of what they believe are the ten trippiest cereal commercials:

If you’re in your late 20’s like I am, you must still have a whole host of memories about some crazy trippy cereal ads you saw when you were a kid.  Well then So Good readers. What do you think? Share some of your favorite trippy cereal commercials in the comment section.

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Dude, I totally don’t remember this at all dude. Nor did I ever try it, so I don’t even know if it’s “most excellent.”  But I am amused by the commercial. Anyone remember ever trying this?

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Considering that Toffee For Your Coffee wasn’t even in the top 4 for consumer voting (see below) this would seem to be a bit of an upset.  The creator of the winning doughnut, Jeff Hager, must have really wowed the judges in the bake-off.

Orignal Post:

The Dunkin Donut’s “Create Dunkin’s Next Donut” contest, which we wrote about previously, has a notice up on their website announcing that voting is closed, and the winner will be announced tomorrow. Considering that the vote percentages are displayed on the website though, this is obviously a done deal.  With 18.1% of the vote, at 11:40 pm June 4th, So Good and our scientific projection system is ready to declare a winner: sm’OREO has defeated Chocolate Monkey, A Nutter One and Tour de France!

So what is a Sm’OREO? It’s a marshmallow-filled donut with chocolate icing topped with OREO® cookie pieces and graham cracker crunch.  No idea when it will be available in stores, but I have to say, as someone who never eats dougnuts, the thought of marshmellow in a doughnut makes me even less likely to do so.

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You can vote for your favorite new doughnut on the Dunkin Donuts homepage. The page also provides up-to-the minute results showing you which donuts are in the lead. As of right now, sm’OREO is off to an early lead over Chocolate Monkey and A Nutter One.

Click below to read the full descriptions of each of the 12 donuts and weigh in with your thoughts for which donut sounds best.

• “A Nutter One” – A chocolate butter kreme-filled donut with peanut butter icing and chopped Reese’s® Peanut Butter Cups (Carol D’Angio, Palm Beach Gardens, FL)
• “Bodacious Banana” – A Bananas Foster-filled donut with chocolate icing topped with shredded coconut (Christine Roman, Ellenville, NY)
• “Chocolate Monkey” – A Bananas Foster-filled donut with chocolate icing topped with Hershey®’s Milk Chocolate shavings (Michelle Ventura, Cranston, RI)
• “Economic Crunch” – A cake donut with chocolate icing topped with graham cracker crunch and butternut crunch (Michael McNeil, Aliso Viejo, CA)
• “Frozen Assets” – A chocolate mint Bavarian-filled donut with white icing topped with blue and green sprinkles (Kimberly Brooks, Orlando, FL)
• “Grandma’s Blueberry Maple Donut” – A blueberry cake donut with maple icing topped with graham cracker crunch (Caitlyn Vandervelde, Coventry, RI)
• “Mexican Hot Chocolate” – A chocolate cake stick filled with marshmallow and topped with chocolate icing, Hershey®’s Cinnamon shavings and Hershey®’s Vanilla shavings (Jane Boderck, Easton, PA)
• “Sm’OREO” – A marshmallow-filled donut with chocolate icing topped with OREO® cookie pieces and graham cracker crunch (Laura Sherland, Smithtown, NY)
• “The Graham Slam” – A marshmallow-filled donut with chocolate icing topped with graham cracker crunch and white sprinkles (Nevrie Dauti, Wayne, NJ)
• “The King” – A Bananas Foster-filled donut with peanut butter icing and chopped peanuts (James Smith, Mount Vernon, NY)
• “Toffee For Your Coffee” – A glazed, sour cream cake donut topped with chopped Heath® Bar (Jeff Hager, Hoover, AL)
• “Tour de France” – A chocolate cake stick with hazelnut kreme glaze (Lindsay Piccotti, Clay, NY)

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According to one news article,

Current boxes of Cheerios are touting what the company calls exciting news — the cereal’s ability to help lower cholesterol 10 percent in one month.

Ok, so there are studies showing Cheerios can lower your cholesterol up to 10%. What’s the issue?

The agency said claims that Cheerios ingredients can lower cholesterol within a certain amount of time, all while providing cancer-fighting and heart-healthy benefits, essentially makes Cheerios “a drug” by their definition. And no drug in this country can be legally marketed without an approved new drug application.

I have a big issue with this. My issue is that, as General Mills points out, the FDA is not disputing the science behind this, merely that General Mills can’t use the language they’ve been using to promote this science, UNLESS they have Cheerios classified or approved as a drug.  This seems symptomatic of America constantly bowing to the wishes of Big Pharma.  “Oh, something can lower your cholesterol by 10%? Well then it MUST be a drug, because only drugs are capable of having such profound affects on your health. What’s that, it’s food that you say can lower my cholesterol 10%? Nonsense! Drugs, drugs, drugs!”

Newsflash: Cheerios, whole grains and other forms of fiber are extremely healthy for you. If Americans ate more of them, and ate more fruits and vegetables, we wouldn’t have so many health problems that Big Pharma could  exploit to get the medical industry to prescribe us a ton of drugs.  The typical American diet is terrible.  If people ate healthier we could avoid needing so many prescriptions.  Big Pharma fears Americans eating healthier diets just like they fear legalized marijuana – both are bad for their profits.

I understand the FDA needs to restrict how companies can market the health benefits of their products and I would like strict, not loose oversight on this point.  But to essentially say that drug makers can tout very drastic health benefits, but food manufacturers can’t, seems back asswards.

Our country is way overmedicated, to the point of using medication to treat problems caused by other medications.  The key to good health really is as simple as eating healthy and excercising.  Americans need to put down the pills and pick up a salad.

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Also, nothing says “eat up” like a decapitated severed hand pouring you a bowl of cereal.

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Stick around for the last few seconds of the commercial and you’ll see why someone really needs to bring back the term “Nerd Gate.”

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How Vanno tracks this stuff is unclear to me. It seems to be a Digg-like site where users vote on brand reputation etc., so I’m not sure how reliable the data is.  As Consumerist observes, they released a less than stellar Powerpoint to back up their data. No offense Vanno, but it kind of looks like it was made by a 12 year old. That being said, there is clearly something a foot, because according to their metric, Kellogg’s brand reputation took a nose dive after their much publicized decision to cut ties with Michael Phelps.

A recent poll shows that 44% of Americans currently believe that marijuana should be legalized, including nearly 6 in 10 people living on the West Coast and the vast majority of those under 30.  The tide is slowly turning against the absurdity of our country’s marijuana prohibition, and the incident with Michael Phelps should be a lesson for companies nationwide that the consumer landscape has changed.  You criticize pot and pot smokers at your peril, and it could end up hurting your bottom line.

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Update: Unlike Kellogg’s, Subway has announced they are standing by Phelps and keeping him as their spokesperson. Bravo Subway, bravo.

Yeah that’s right, I said it. I’m going to boycott Kellogg’s. Why? Because otherwise they will think everything is just hunky dory after they fired an American HERO for doing what millions of other 23 year-olds have done before: smoke pot.

We’re talking about freakin Kellogg’s here people. Are they not aware of who their customer base is? Do they not know who is regularly buying Pop Tarts? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t sober people. You’re honestly going to tell me that the guy who created Pop Tart’s wasn’t high at the time? Rubbish.

Personally, I’m not even a fan of Michael Phelps.  In his media apperances he seems about as smart as a bag of rocks. However, you cannot deny that his performance this past summer united Americans and instilled many of us with patriotic pride. There is no debate: Michael Phelps is the single most successful athlete in the history of the Olympic games.  The man is, plain and simple, an American hero.

So how does a company like Kellogg’s treat American heroes? By not renewing their contracts, a.k.a FIRING them. Yes, that’s right, Kellogg’s fires American heroes. Are you patriotic Kellogg’s? Do you love America? Then why are you taking money out of the pocket of an American hero?

Michael Phelps was photographed smoking pot. Newsflash: Barack Obama used to smoke pot. The mayor of NYC, Michael Bloomberg, used to smoke pot.  The American people have decided that if you have smoked pot, you are good enough to manage a city of 14 million and good enough to be leader of the free world. Clearly Kellogg’s does not agree with the American people – in their eyes, if you smoke pot, you are not even good enough to be a cereal spokesperson.

Lee Strahan, writing at Huffington Post, is also calling for a boycott, pointing out:

Kellogg’s has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg’s products were they not wicked high.

Andrew Sullivan has also weighed in, asking, ”When on earth are we going to grow up as a culture?”  Supporters on Facebook have set up a fan page titled, “I don’t care that Michael Phelps smoked a bong” that is already above 2,000 members. An online petition has been set up, and there are now a flurry of news articles about how the story is uniting pot smokers, which CNN even did a report on:

I ask you So Good readers, who do you want dictating who your cereal spokesperson is? A) Puritanical anti-drug zealots?, B) The 41% of American’s who believe pot should be legal? or C) Patriotic individuals who don’t fire American heroes? Me? I choose B or C.

Some of you may be saying, oh it’s bad PR to keep Phelps, Kellogg’s had no choice, blah, blah, blah. WRONG. Kellogg’s could have easily stood by Michael Phelps. Both Omega and Speedo have NOT dropped Phelps as a spokesperson, and put out statements saying that the picture of him smoking a bong was a private matter. I don’t hear any deafening chorus of people telling me not to buy Speedo’s anymore. So I say bravo Omega, bravo Speedo. I vow to all of my readers that if I ever decide to do a total 180 with my preferred beachwear and buy a bathing suit that exposes 100% of my white, hairy legs, I will make it a Speedo bathing suit.

Subway is already making noises indicating that they will be the next company to cut ties with Phelps. As a former “Sandwich Artist” and lover of Subway, I’m asking you Jared, I’m asking you Subway corporation: don’t do it.  Fear my wrath, fear the wrath of So Good’s readers, and fear the wrath of rational thinking American’s everywhere who have already elected a pot-smoking President and can therefore totally, most definitely, handle a pot-smoking sandwich spokesperson. I don’t want to have to boycott you Subway, but mark my words, I will.

There’s plenty of other cereals out there. General Mills, Post, those weird bags that are always on the bottom shelf. Sure, Pop Tarts are pretty tasty, but I’m sure the store brand “toaster pastries” are fine too. Be honest with yourself: you could live without Kellogg’s. So do it. DO IT. Boycott Kellogg’s.  It’s time to stand up for Michael Phelps, and stand up to American corporations who want to take money out of the pockets of American heroes just because when they are partying they prefer to smoke a plant instead of chugging a Coors Light.

If you feel the same way I do, let Kellogg’s know how you feel:

Kellogg’s Consumer Affairs: kellogg@casupport.com
Kellogg’s corporate responsibility department: corporateresponsibility@kellogg.com

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For those of you hankering for a couple flapjacks plus eggs, bacon and sausage, go into Denny’s today from 6am to 2pm for a free Grand Slam breakfast.  If you are willing to face the lines, it is probably worth a shot.

Here is the terrible Super Bowl commercial where Denny’s let the cat out of the bag:

It will be interesting to see if this marketing strategy will work.  I have read reports about Denny’s losing lots of regular customers because of the economy, and they are trying to bring them back.  I am kind of surprised that Denny’s has been feeling the pinch – I know McDonald’s profits have been soaring because of the price point of their food, and I assumed Denny’s might see similar results.  I hope it does, as I have many fond late night memories of this place.

FYI: Calorie count on the GS breakfast here.
H/t to Bransontips for the pic.

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