While I have been trying to avoid all of those places for the same reasons, none of them were even a real option compared to the almighty golden arches. Outside of a hangover, where McDonalds cheeseburgers and a Coke are the thing I crave most, I don’t even really think about McDonald’s as an option to get something satisfying and delicious. So what is it about a stressful situation that drives me right into the loving arms of Ronald and friends?

What is the connection between fast food and comfort? Studies have shown that the same chemical processes in our bodies that lead to drug addiction, can be triggered by food, notably high fat, high salt/sugar foods.  Eating these foods can release dopamine and dopamine can induce reward seeking behavior. Once the association between high fat, high calorie foods and pleasure is made, it can be a hard habit to kick. Unfortunately just like continued drug use, when your body creates dopamine more often, the dopamine receptors in your body can get burned out from over use, which means it takes more dopamine (more food) to get the same reaction. Addiction similarities aside, it offers an explanation for the association between fast food and happiness, however brief that happiness may be.

Similar research shows that sleep deprivation and junk food can go hand in hand. The quick bursts of happiness produced by high fat foods can push you through a period of exhaustion, again reinforcing the connection between those foods and positive results. Considering how stressful exhaustion itself can be, it’s no wonder we crave foods that are bad for us when we are over tired.

As far as my own personal association between McDonalds and comfort goes, that is just my childhood. Burger King was around but never seemed to be in the right location for those times when fast food was the order of the day. I have such fond memories of McDonalds as a kid that even today, when I know a Shamrock shake would be enough to make me gag, I still have happy feelings when I think about them.  McDonalds breakfasts in particular hold a special place in my brain. An egg McMuffin, a crispy football of hash browns and a raspberry danish were a little slice of heaven. Does anyone else remember when McDonalds danishes got impaled on a device that looked like an iron maiden? Heated metal spikes were jammed into the bottom of the danish, making the whole thing uniformly hot and delicious without melting all of the icing off.  It was pretty magical to a young, plump lad.

Now it all makes sense, in a moment of stress, a lifetime of little bites of happiness brings  me right back to the place where it all began. And with that, I can forgive myself for enjoying it.

How about you, what is your go to junk food of choice when times get tough?

Frosted Toast Crunch is described as “frosted vanilla squares” with a “dash of cinnamon.” I headed to Wal-Mart to see if I could track this bad boy down. While strolling down the cereal aisle, I saw some interesting things. For example, since when are there 12 different flavors of Cheerios? Peanut butter? Dulce de Leche? Fruit?! Who knew? Also, Chocolate Frosted Flakes. That sounds like overkill. And diabetes. Anywho, I grabbed me a box of Frosted Toast Crunch and headed home for a taste test.

There’s only one way to try a new variety of junk food: on the couch, watching TV. On this particular night, I watched Modern Family as I dumped cereal in my mouth. Everyone needs to watch that show, it’s amazing. After a number of garbled guffaws, I had had enough. When you have to work to get your hand in the box, it’s time to stop eating. Seriously though, General Mills, bigger boxes. Adults eat this stuff too. So Frosted Toast Crunch passed the couch test. I was able to eat through an entire sitcom.

I wouldn’t say the flavor screams vanilla. If the box hadn’t said it, I wouldn’t have known that’s what they were going for. I would describe it as more of a…pure sugar flavor. The coating is definitely sprinkled on liberally, as with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. As for the alleged “dash of cinnamon,” it must have been a very small dash, because I got no cinnamon flavor. The overall flavor was pretty monotonous. It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch, sans cinnamon. The cereal square itself has good toasted rice and wheat flavor, and packs a delightful crunch.

My next test was eating this cereal with milk. While reading the comics. It’s the purest form of cereal-eating. I don’t know about you, but I read the funnies from top to bottom, left to right. It’s called OCD. I also skip Doonesbury (maybe when I’m 50 I’ll find it funny), and Mutts (maybe when I’m 50, and my only friends are stray dogs and cats, I’ll find it funny.)

I enjoyed eating Frosted Toast Crunch with milk. It held up ok, retaining some of its crunchiness and most of its flavor. I’m not one to drink the milk at the end (blasphemous, I know), but if I had, I would imagine it basically tastes like really sugary milk. While we’re on this topic, is it just me, or does Cereal Milk make no sense? Why would you pay money for this? I literally just made some myself in 5 minutes. People will overpay for anything that looks cool.

Frosted Toast Crunch is about what you’d expect from a sugary cereal. It’s basically Cinnamon Toast Crunch without the delicious cinnamon flavor. It’s nothing to write home about, but it’s not bad either. If you’re looking for something new to snack on, and you like diabetes and licking your fingers, give it a whirl.

Not too long ago I was talking to some friends about a recipe, and mentioned my hunt for Grade B maple syrup, and the response I got was “it has different grades?”

That got me to thinking that maybe the joys of real maple syrup were not as well known as I suspected. In an effort to rid the world of Aunt Jemima  lets start with the basics. Maple Syrup is graded based on it’s color.  Grade A is the lightest color and grade B is darker. Within those classifications there are different sub-classes.

The scale is actually quite simple, it relates directly to how much light passes through the syrup. it doesn’t get much easier that that. Maple syrup also has many health claims and diets associated with it, most famously the Master Cleanse, which always sounds far too ominous a title to be good for you. I always picture Master Blaster from Mad Max fame when I hear the phrase, and that does not make me think healthy thoughts

The lighter maple syrups tend to be used as breakfast syrup while the darker grades are typically more suited to cooking.  The reason for that, is the lighter syrups have a much more delicate maple flavor that is easily overwhelmed by other flavors so you want to serve it as is. The darker syrups have a more intense maple flavor so you can combine them with other flavors and more than just sweet survives.

Regardless of your preference (if you have one) in grade I think we can all agree that maple is mostly known for its breakfast applications. Whether you like to drizzle it on to your waffles so it fills every single hole or you are a dunker of sausage then you will appreciate the flavor that real maple brings to the table.

In addition to its place at the breakfast table, maple syrup is very much at home in savory dishes. I use it a lot in my own cooking and it has seen a rise in popularity in restaurants and food shows in the last few years. A quick search returns over 4 million results for recipes. Many of those are related to different kinds of pancakes, waffles, and french toast, however there are many recipes for other desserts and savory applications. It resonates particularly well with pork. If you think about the way that maple syrup works with your breakfast sausage or bacon you can see why.

Based on your location and the country of origin for your syrup you may see some slightly different scales but as a general rule color is your guide.

If you are fortunate enough to live near a maple producing region of the world I can’t encourage you enough to find a produce and go for a tour if they offer them. Many time you can get a side by side tasting of the different grades and experience they incredible variance in flavor yourself. If not take the plunge and order 3 or 4 varieties from the internet and have a sampling yourself.

“I vant to eat your cereal!”

Count Chocula had the richest and most satisfying cocoa flavor of the bunch, and it was also the most similar to  real chocolate. Although cocoa pebbles might have given it a run for its money, getting to stare into that nostalgia-filled vampire visage secured Count Chocula’s place in the top spot. You can check out the count through the years on this poorly-designed website.

“He looks, like, a suave guy.” – Betsy, my roommate

Personally, I thought the boo berry was the least compelling mascot of the three, but both my roommates found the dark circles under his eyes vaguely attractive. Go figure. Anyway, this was our least favorite cereal. Although we could detect a hint of blueberry muffins, the cereal itself didn’t actually have much flavor. It got better when paired with the marshmallows, which were sweet and sort of milky, and better than Lucky Charms.

Has strawberries for fingernails.

Franken Berry isn’t quite as famous as the other two, having debuted on the market two years later in 1973. We liked the fact that he has strawberries for fingernails, though. And he kind of looks like someone that would be in a Pixar movie. We found the cereal’s Day-glo pink color a little disarming at first, especially when I read online that the dye in the cereal used to turn children’s poop pink. The flavor, sadly, was a similar situation to Boo Berry – weak and not strawberry-like on its own, pretty good with the marshmallows.

It’s not every day you get to have a bowl of pop culture for breakfast.

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You can tell a lot about someone by the way they like their eggs.* Just ask Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, who discovered she loved Richard Gere because he was the only one who cared how she liked her eggs cooked (eggs benedict). Or my namesake, who knew that the main character in a Dr. Suess book would just love green eggs (that appeared to be sunny-side up) if he would just be willing to try something new.

Find something out about yourself today with one of the following egg styles (and be sure to check out my new book Eggs: Scrambling Along Pathways Into the Human Psyche**):

Scrambled

Fried (soft or hard)

Poached (includes eggs benedict)

Sunny-Side Up

Omelette

So what’ll it be, Thursday morning diners? Do you prefer the versatility of scrambled eggs and omelettes (read: mix-ins)? Or the runny indulgence of eggs sunny-side up? Or perhaps you enjoy your eggs by merit of what you can build around them, like eggs benedict around poached eggs or a breakfast sandwich with a fried egg. Or maybe you’re just a really big fan of Julia Roberts. Whatever your reasons, vote for your favorite egg style below and tell us why in the comments!

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*No, you can’t.

**Book does not exist.

Toast has been the artistic focus of many oddball creators throughout history, including Dr. Suess, Ok Go, and about a million artists who have used it to reproduce the Mona Lisa. But today, we don’t want to know what you make with your toast. We want to know what you put on it.

Do you slather butter on that burnt canvas in the morning, So Good readers? Honey? Peanut butter and jelly? Nutella? Or maybe you’re an ambitious foodie who goes for something more creative. Vote for your favorite toast topping below and explain in the comments. By the way, ”I don’t eat toast” is not an option. There are literally hundreds of ways to enjoy this breakfast classic, so even if you don’t think you eat toast…you do.

My question is simple: do you pick the marshmallows out?

Some morning munchers have been known to deviously slide their spoons in and around those treacherously healthy-looking cereal bits to capture the marshmallows and only the marshmallows. The benefits of this eating style? Sugar high! The drawbacks? Sugar coma.

Other cereal eaters prefer to balance their super-sweet refined carbohydrates with slightly less super-sweet refined carbohydrates by including both marshmallows and cereal in every bite. Though not as sensational, this eating technique is more balanced and requires less thought – a true asset for an early meal.

I’ve also seen eaters who clear out the cereal bits first, leaving a stockpile of soggy, colorful, sugary goodness for the end. It’s no pot of gold, but you take what you can get.

How do you eat your Lucky Charms, So Good readers? Do you take the time to isolate those marshmallow chunks of sugary delight? Plow through your bowl like the groggy morning breadwinner you are? Or maneuver your spoon around the marshmallows and gather up the cereal bits, leaving yourself a “pot of gold” at the end? Any other quirky cereal techniques? Choose your answer and explain in the comments!

It goes without saying that this poll also applies to Marshmallow Mateys, or any other marshmallow-based cereal.

And, just because I’m curious…

Of course, I brought along my own real maple syrup to see if Vermont’s case had any standing. I totally understand why McDonald’s would not want to include real maple syrup in every single oatmeal dish they put out. It’s expensive. I was going to get the stuff that actually came from Vermont, but it was $15 and came in what looked like a box of Band-Aids. The $7 (still ridiculous) “real maple syrup” from Cumberland, Wisconsin would have to do.

Save for the bright red chunks of apple on top, the oatmeal was pale and extremely innocent-looking. Though my first bite was pasty and largely flavorless, the spoonfuls obtained a faint undercurrent of pancake syrup flavoring down near the center. I was thankful for the variety the raisins and cranberries provided- the pockets of sweetness were commendably scattered throughout the 9.2 oz. cup.

All in all, it hardly lived up to the (somewhat drastic) “explosion of flavor” claim on the side of the bag. Like every other oatmeal experience I’ve ever had, McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal was both comforting and slightly disappointing.

I suppose this is where I need to salute the state of Vermont, because halfway through the cup I added the real maple syrup to the mix, and that’s when the party really got started.

It wasn’t spectacular, but it was good. Sweet, satisfying, deep and flavorful – everything oatmeal aspires to be. The oats were mushy and pasty, but that’s the nature of the beast. Real maple syrup, as much as I hate to lift my hat to Vermont foodie police, really did complete the oatmeal palette picture.

UPDATE: And now all you frightened consumers can rest easy, because McDonald’s is no longer running around, giving inaccurate names to products willy nilly. According to Internetbits, they came to see the err of their ways and are now providing real maple syrup at every Vermont location.

Crazy.

Via Ads of the World.