#5: Frankenstein for Orange Shasta

#3: Frankenstein for Pepsi/Doritos

Honorable Mention: Elvira for Coors Light.

Have a safe weekend, and take it easy on the candy – especially the stuff at the bottom of the bag.

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So this is a new one to me. A burger with butter on it? Hmmmm. I know places that butter, or sometimes even heavily butter the buns they put their burgers on, but putting a big old slab of butter directly onto a burger? Wow. I stumbled across these butter burgers when reading a post on Andrew Sullivan’s blog, featuring a new ad for Miller High Life that prominently features this high-fat treat.

That looks awful and awesomely appealing at the same time. Apparently butter burgers are a Wisconsin favorite, and have been made famous by a place called Culver’s. Check out a review of these burgers from Would I Buy It Again?

Anyone tried one of these bad boys?

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As reported back in January, due to financial concerns, the NBA is allowing courtside liquor advertising for the first time since 1991.  This was hardly shocking news considering how much NBA teams will be going into the red next season, and their subsequent need to generate revenue.  What is interesting here is some of the partnerships that have formed between booze companies and teams. The Miami Heat has deals with Bacardi, Grey Goose, and Dewar’s (covering the young, midde-aged, and old demos).  Also, the Los Angeles Lakers just signed the first exclusive deal with 1800 Silver tequila.  (Apparently, Lakers fans drink more tequila than other booze.)  Regardless, it will be interesting to see the affect of every arena being wallpapered with liquor ads as well as which new partnerships form – Toronto Raptors/Canadian Club?  Atlanta Hawks/Southern Comfort?  New York Knicks/Aristocrat Vodka?

Which teams/brands make the most sense to you?

H/t to Media Post for the pict.

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After a bit of a hiatus while Phelps was serving his suspension, Subway has finally put the swimming superstar back on the air.  For hidden message seeking stoners and freedom lovers everywhere, the ad could be viewed as either a subtle dig at Kellogg’s and/or nod of approval toward Phelp’s activities.  The new ad pairs Phelps with will-he-just-vanish-off-the-face-of-the-earth-already Subway icon Jared Fogle, and features Sly and the Family Stone’s “Thank You.”  The name of the ad? “Be Yourself.” That’s right Phelps, you should be be yourself! Toke up if you want!

Dan Neil, writing for the Los Angeles Times, examines the (lack of) endorsement fallout from the Phelps story and notes:

To the extent that endorsement opportunities are a rough metric of how well someone in public life is liked, admired, respected, the bong-heard-round-the-world scandal might as well never have happened. With the benefit of hindsight, Kellogg execs might well be kicking themselves.

With Phelps back on the air for Subway and still challenging world records in recent swim tournaments, it’s clear that American’s are happy to have him back, and their collective shrug in response to his pot use shows just how outside the mainstream Kellogg’s is.

Welcome back Michael Phelps, and way to go Subway. I knew there was a reason I worked for one of your franchises for 4 years.

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Spotted on AdGabber.

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

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Via AdRants.

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Check out the actual ads below:

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Yes, Burger King has a new sandwich called the “Super Seven Incher.”  When I say “hot”, “meaty” and “7 inches” what do you think of? Well you aren’t alone.  So did the ad minds behind this new campaign, who apparently just couldn’t resist the idea/imagery of a woman giving a blow job to a giant 7-inch hunk of meat.  Just in case you couldn’t pick up on the subtlety of the idea, they decided to hit you over the head with it.  Other blogs, such as Gawker, have already taken notice:

Just look at all that piping hot beef laden with creamy mayo aligned perfectly with the open mouth of a wide-eyed blonde

Add in the fact that the woman has make-up and facial expressions which pretty much resemble that of a blow-up doll.  Of course her mouth is agape, which serves to alleviate any doubt someone might have that maybe, just MAYBE they aren’t making a blow-job reference.  Oh, and just to be sure, the word BLOW is prominently featured.   The description of the product is only slightly less sexual:

Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER

When it comes to blatantly using sexual innuendo in your advertising, this is the print ad equivalent of the “Two Girls, One Sub” video that Quizno’s may or may not have been behind.  Burger King’s ad agency, Crispin, Porter + Bogusky is known for edgy, attention grabbing ads. When they succeed they soar, but when they flop, they usually crash and burn, generating tons of backlash and negative attention.  They don’t shy away from controversy, and they seem eager and ready to use sexual innuendo whenever possible.  However, CP+B is focused on BK’s domestic marketing.  Copyranter has updated his original post to say that CP+B is NOT responsible for this ad.   It appears the ad is running outside of the United States – Fast Food News says it’s a new menu item in Singapore area restaurants, while also remarking:

We’ve seen more suggestive advertising, to be sure, but this one just seems to be poorly executed AND in bad taste (and probably tastes bad, too).

I’m with Fast Food News on this one. Not sure why the people who designed this ad thought it would “work.”  Sure, it’s getting attention, but all negative. Even if it helps sell the sandwich in Singapore, it may provoke a backlash in the United States. Every time you get press for one of these ads, an offended mother is that much less likely to take her kids to Burger King.

On a total side note, this ad campaign does hilariously match-up with Burger King’s “It Just Tastes Better” slogan.

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To see the contrast in the marketing technique utilized to shape the appeal of the BK King, take a look at this 1978 Burger King commercial, which features “The Magic Burger King” performing all sorts of tricks for an audience of captivated children:

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Uh…..why was that so long? I feel like I could have got the message in 15-20 seconds.

Via AdFreak.

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Hmmmm…I think I’ll be looking forward to this ad.

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Created 15 months ago by Weiden + Kennedy and directed by Buck Production, this “epic rock opera” for Coke Zero features “a singing bear, candy-pooping birds, an elk with sausage antlers, g-string wearing antelopes and honeycomb encrusted sheep.”

Ooooook. That was random.

The ad has only aired so far in Brazil. The computer animated animals kind of remind me of the Orangina Orgy commercial.

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“In tough economic times, more people than ever are turning to fast food options as a way to stretch their paycheck.  Playboy.com has taken note of this trend with its own ‘video salute’ to lunchtime. The site’s editors recognized that Quiznos seems to have a good sense of humor about their brand, and didn’t hesitate in selecting them as one of the best bargains out there.”

When pressed with specific questions about if Quiznos had knowledge of the video’s release or gave tacit approval of the video, Playboy did not directly address my question, but simply replied with this statement:

“Playboy.com is responsible for the video and put it together as its ’salute to lunchtime’.”

Does the mystery continue?

Update: Confusion is swirling online as to whether or not Quiznos had any involvement in making this video.  We knew all along that it was produced by Playboy, but the assumption from most seemed to be that the prominent featuring of a Quiznos sub made clear Quiznos was part of it. AdAge reports that they have spoken with Quiznos, and the company has denied any involvement in the ad. However, many bloggers seem skeptical.

Jezebel:

“It seems unlikely that Playboy independently produced a viral video advertising their sandwiches.”

The Denver Egotist:

“We’re calling bullshit, especially after watching that creepy sex-addled talking oven spot they’ve been running.”

Adrants:

“We can’t help but wonder just how many people over at Quiznos are loving (even hoping) this thing gets as much exposure as it’s getting. We still think there’s some shenanigans going on here.”

Cafe Society:

“We say bullshit. We’ve seen those creepy mutant hamster commercials and “Put it in me” talking-oven spots, so we know for a fact that the folks at Quiznos are sick enough to make this ad happen.”

Original Post:

Oh. My. God. I cannot believe that Quiznos made this ad.  First off, for those of you unfamiliar, this ad title/concept is based off the popular viral internet video “2 girls, 1 cup.” If you haven’t seen the video before, don’t bother looking it up. I can’t even begin to describe it to you in any level of detail without losing half my readers, but lets just say that it involves 2 women, eating, a cup, human excrement, and vomit. Enough. I don’t even want to say more.

Well some marketing genius over at Quiznos decided that a phrase (2 girls, 1 cup) that most users of the internet associate with one of the most disgusting, revolting and abhorrent things they have ever seen in their lives, should also be associated with the Quiznos brand name! Yay! Think Quiznos! Think human feces and vomit!

The execution of the ad is no less appalling than the fact that some moron even thought up this idea in the first place.  Two months ago, we asked in good fun if the new Padma Lakshmi Hardee’s commercial was “Soft Core Porn.” Ha! We were just joshing you. Compared to that ad, this one is like Deep Throat 7 – Tonsil’s Revenge. We also wondered if the Stacker 2 “6 hour power” ad was the most sexually explicit ad ever. Ha! That ad might as well have featured bunny rabbits and snowflakes compared to this one.

A YouTube video of the commercial is below the fold. I will tell you that while there is no nudity, this ad is about as NSFW as it can possibly be short of nudity or actual sexual intercourse – pay attention to those headphones people, there is plenty of sound! Be sure to keep reading on for my full thoughts on why this is such a horrendously awful ad.

So we have a few problems here. For starters, readers of this blog know that I think Quiznos sandwiches taste disgusting. I was already associating them with excrement and vomit. Now Quiznos has basically taken the next step and formalized my suspicions: even people in their marketing department can see the link between the taste of human excrement and vomit and the taste of their sandwiches! Otherwise, how would they have thought up this ad?

The next issue, of course, is that the two models, 21 year old Kari Nautique, and Playboy playmate Hiromi Oshima, are making noises, and writhing around, as if they are mid-orgasm while eating the sandwich. Not to mention deliberately allowing the “mayo” to become smeared all over their faces from their messy eating. I don’t even think we need to broach the subject of the phallic shape of Quizno’s sandwiches.  Oh yeah, and of course, they are sitting on a bench wearing bikinis while eating the sandwich, because why wouldn’t they be?

Now as a 28 year-old male, I’m not complaining about a hot 21 year-old in a bikini. Besides, sex sells. I get it, and I don’t have a problem with that. But who is the target market for this ad? Obviously not women. Probably not old people.   I’m guessing 18 – 34 year old males is the exact target demographic they are going for.  Well, I fall into that demographic.  When I’m watching an ad that is trying to sell me something using sex, I should either be turned on by it or excited by the idea of watching it. Watching this ad, I felt neither of those things. I felt gross, icky and uncomfortable just watching it from the privacy of my own desk and computer screen.  That’s me, a 28 year-old male. Imagine how offended/uncomfortable a woman of any age or a parent might be when they see this? Oh, and I never even mentioned the fact that Quiznos made this ad in collaboration with Playboy.

Now I could make some bold proclaimation like “I will never eat at Quizno’s again!” but that would be meaningless, because I never eat at Quizno’s anyways, because their food is horrid.  But if you are a parent, and you ever take your kid to Quizno’s, stop doing so immediately. Seriously. I’m not into drawing lines for how far advertising should go, but this ad makes anti-line-drawers suddenly realize that yep, now that I’ve seen this, I know the definition of crossing the line, and this is it.

So just to re-cap the stupidity of Quizno’s on this:

• Name our ad after the most disgusting viral video ever? Check.
• Offend anyone over the age of 35 and probably almost any female? Check.
• Make even your target demo of 18-34 year old males feel uncomfortable? Check.

and finally……

• Associate your food with BOTH human excrement AND vomit? CHECK.

Well, you did it Quiznos. You made possibly the most appaling, offensive commercial possible. Now thousands, if not millions, of people who weren’t already doing so will begin to associate your food with vomit and shit. Reapeat after me: Quiznos = vomit & shit, vomit & shit, vomit & shit. Well done Quiznos marketing department, well done.

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H/T to11 Points and their “11 Early Roles the Cast of Lost Wishes We’d All Forget.”

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