I used to enjoy hot dogs on pizza, when I was 8. As a latch key kid any thoughts of taking the culinary high road was an afterthought, as hunger dictated MacGyver like skills be employed to satiate a growling belly.
English Muffin, Kraft single, spaghetti sauce, chopped wiener, toaster oven. Done.
So when I stumbled across this banner ad online last week (O.K. fine, I was ordering from the Pizza Hut site), I was intrigued via pangs of nostalgia, yet horrified beyond words that Pizza Hut was going to make good on their promise and unleash their latest phenomenon in North America.
To say the internet lost its collective shit when the hot dog stuffed crust pizza made a huge splash across the pond in the UK earlier this year would be an understatement. However in a massive middle finger to the United States, Pizza Hut has launched it today, Monday October 15th, in Canada only.
As to why Pizza Hut would deny the U.S. this Holy Grail hybrid of two of their most beloved fast food items is beyond me. Perhaps we Canadians are just gastronomic guinea pigs for the North American territory. All I know is, cross border visits are going to be way up this week.
From Pizza Hut’s Marketing Elves:
The legendary pizza-hot dog combination is made by stuffing a juicy Angus beef hot dog into Pizza Hut’s famous stuffed crust. It’s available in medium or large pizza(i) with your choice of toppings and is the same great price as regular stuffed crust pizza. Each pizza comes with a Heinz Ketchup Dip and Squeeze and Heinz Honey Mustard Dip.
Toppings: Red onions , fresh cut tomatoes, crispy bacon, a useless, unnoticeable & unnecessary nacho cheese drizzle (in the UK, it was mustard). The sauce was a bit of a downer. as they’ve replaced the regular Pizza Hut tomato base with a tangy/sweet BBQ alternative. Personally, I don’t think this bait and switch was needed.
Most people will rip off the dog stuffed crust and dunk it into the provided dipping sauces, not even getting trace amounts of the BBQ sauce. Also, honey mustard is a weak attempt to fast foodie up the tried and true hot dog topping of choice. Throwing everything but the kitchen sink onto this pizza and you can’t even give us unadulterated mustard? Kick the HM to the curb and retrieve a bottle of yellow gold from your refrigerator.
What Lies Beneath: The dog itself is enjoyable when consumed within its doughy cocoon but I can’t with good conscience recommend you take it out.
At one point, this was probably a tasty wiener, however during the baking process, it shrinks and hardens, resembling an over sized Slim Jim or a movie theater dog that’s been spinning on that carousel far too long, or worst case; a Snausage.
The whole concept of hot dogs wrapped in bread or batter is nothing new. Corn dogs, pigs in a blanket, Pretzel dogs, all have come well before this freak show. The sum of all its parts certainly don’t come together in a cohesive taste bud bonanza, but if dissected properly, you could do a lot worse.
Sadly, catering your Staff Christmas party with this gem will not be possible as the hot dog stuffed pizza has a limited run from October 15, 2012 to November 25, 2012. Much like other enigmatic fast food cult legends (McRib, Shamrock Shake anyone?) perhaps absence will make the stomach grow fonder.