Granted, the title of this post sounds strange, but consider following excruciating choice:

Option #1: You have to eat a squishy over-ripe banana every day for the rest of your life.

over-ripe-banana

Option #2: You can never eat anything that could be classified as “dessert” ever again.

dessert

Things to consider:  Have you ever brought a banana to work thinking you were so swell?  “Hey, look at me, I try to eat fruit once a day!” you say to yourself.  Your smug feelings are soon replaced by a gag-inducing realization:  YOUR BANANA HAS GONE SOFT.  Like super-soft, to the point, that it is barely able to maintain its banana-form when you peel away its epidermis.  And you have to eat one of theses monstrosities once a day…for the rest of your life.  Now when I say eat, I mean EAT. As in straight on, just the banana. You cannot grind it up into a smoothie, chop it up and put on top of cereal, or slather it in peanut butter. You must eat it all by itself.

Unless you decide to give up dessert.  No more creme brulee? Dah!  It’s terrible just writing that sentence.  And I can’t even put the little accent over the “e” at the end of brulee.  Sad.  For others, this means no more strawberry ice cream.  Or cheese cake.  Or this heart-rending scenario: It’s the end of another brutal day at work, and the only thing you want to do is sit down and watch your favorite episode of Magnum P.I. while clutching a pint of Haagen Daaz.  Only you don’t have that option anymore.  It’s just you and Tom Selleck’s mustache.  Here’s the thing: there is no cheating.  You may say, “Oh Cary, it’s so simple to give up sweets.  No one is that weak.”  What I mean is this: you can’t ever have it, EVER again.  So yes, in the short term it may seem like an easy decision.  But ten years down the road, when you’re still working the same job, and that same episode of Magnum P.I. comes on where Ted Danson’s character is killed by a boat propeller, YOU’LL WANT THAT ICE CREAM.  Trust me.

[poll id=”60″]

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24 Responses

  1. Brian

    I’m still trying to figure how you know about my television viewing habits. Please stop peering through my blinds.

    Reply
  2. dee

    Ugh, the though of answering this poll has turned my stomach…On the one hand, I really really really dislike bananas (over ripe and mushy or otherwise). On the other hand, dessert is awesome. Especially cheesecake. Mmm, cheesecake….

    ok, fine, give me the stupid banana.

    Reply
  3. Eick

    Bear – I would say fruit does not count as dessert, unless it has been in some way sweetened or put in dessert form – i.e. fruit salad or a fruit sorbet.

    Reply
  4. Hillary

    This question is…torture! And the banana thing is so true! Yesterday I took an underripe banana to work thinking it would magically soften by snack time, and….well..not quite.

    Reply
  5. Kat

    I love dessert, but overripe bananas are icky.
    But I can’t give up cupcakes and pie and cheesecake and cookies….

    Reply
  6. Antonio

    It is all in how you classify a dessert. Sweets and deserts are two different things. I don;t classify all cookies as a desert, nor do I classify th sweet preztels at Auntie Anne’s. And candy is not a dessert.

    Reply
  7. Vanilla

    Whoa! What a question. Banana is a important source of a good nutrient in our diet. But I’d be lying to say that I’d go with banana and not care about the lovely treats. Specially if they are made from any Vanilla recipes.

    Reply
  8. Cary

    @Antonio

    Wait, cookies aren’t a dessert? I can almost understand your problem with candy, but if cookies aren’t dessert then my name isn’t Cary. Which it is, no internet anonymity here.

    I’ll allow that “dessert” is a rather nebulous term, but if you love it, and it’s sweet, YOU CAN’T HAVE IT EVER AGAIN. make your choice, don’t give me this life is gray stuff.

    Reply
  9. Antonio

    @Cary. It does not say sweet it says dessert!

    I will agree some cookies I guess can be classified as a desert. Im not the biggest fan of sweets, but a girl scout thin mint to me is not a dessert.

    But I could give up a dessert. I would rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich late night than some ice cream.

    Reply
  10. Cary

    Well, I remember eating thin mints after dinner growing up, as a dessert.

    So, for me, cookies (even girl scout species) are considered a dessert.

    Reply
  11. Heather

    Gag. Overripe bananas are soooo disgusting, but I still picked option one. I would just gobble the banana as quickly as possible, then chase it with a milkshake or something.
    I don’t think I could give up cheesecake…

    Reply
  12. matt

    Does it count if I have Ice Cream for dinner and then forgo the spinach for dessert?

    Reply
  13. Cary

    No! Eat your spinach or you don’t get any ice cream! And your mother and I aren’t going to leave the table till you finish that spinach! Hurry! You know I don’t like to miss an episode of Simon and Simon!

    Reply
  14. Julie

    Maybe I’m crazy but I LOVE overripe bananas. True, the one you described in the post is a little riper than I would normally go for, but I absolutely hate when bananas are a little too firm. Yay squishy bananas!

    Reply
  15. Bear Silber

    Most people throw away or discard bananas when they’re at their best. People are thrown off by their “discolor” but that’s just the sugars coming out and the best tasting bit….although there is something to be said about the texture.

    Reply
  16. RhondaB

    Gah! When bananas lose the slightly green tinge at the ends I can no longer eat them alone and they are destined for a smoothie or banana nut bread. That being said, I could never give up sweets entirely, so I’d gag down the nasty black banana rather than suffer a pointless life with no ice cream.

    Reply
  17. Eick

    I’m absolutely shocked that so many people would choose to eat a mushy banana EVERY SINGLE DAY! Why? So you can keep eating dessert?

    Come on people, not only is that horrifying, but it’s a sign that you are WEAK. Think of this decision as a great way to force yourself into healthier eating habits.

    Reply
  18. sydney manuel

    uhm i need your last name && first name because i need it for a project giving credit for using your picture

    Reply

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