Update: Unlike Kellogg’s, Subway has announced they are standing by Phelps and keeping him as their spokesperson. Bravo Subway, bravo.

Yeah that’s right, I said it. I’m going to boycott Kellogg’s. Why? Because otherwise they will think everything is just hunky dory after they fired an American HERO for doing what millions of other 23 year-olds have done before: smoke pot.

We’re talking about freakin Kellogg’s here people. Are they not aware of who their customer base is? Do they not know who is regularly buying Pop Tarts? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t sober people. You’re honestly going to tell me that the guy who created Pop Tart’s wasn’t high at the time? Rubbish.

Personally, I’m not even a fan of Michael Phelps.  In his media apperances he seems about as smart as a bag of rocks. However, you cannot deny that his performance this past summer united Americans and instilled many of us with patriotic pride. There is no debate: Michael Phelps is the single most successful athlete in the history of the Olympic games.  The man is, plain and simple, an American hero.

So how does a company like Kellogg’s treat American heroes? By not renewing their contracts, a.k.a FIRING them. Yes, that’s right, Kellogg’s fires American heroes. Are you patriotic Kellogg’s? Do you love America? Then why are you taking money out of the pocket of an American hero?

Michael Phelps was photographed smoking pot. Newsflash: Barack Obama used to smoke pot. The mayor of NYC, Michael Bloomberg, used to smoke pot.  The American people have decided that if you have smoked pot, you are good enough to manage a city of 14 million and good enough to be leader of the free world. Clearly Kellogg’s does not agree with the American people – in their eyes, if you smoke pot, you are not even good enough to be a cereal spokesperson.

Lee Strahan, writing at Huffington Post, is also calling for a boycott, pointing out:

Kellogg’s has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg’s products were they not wicked high.

Andrew Sullivan has also weighed in, asking, “When on earth are we going to grow up as a culture?”  Supporters on Facebook have set up a fan page titled, “I don’t care that Michael Phelps smoked a bong” that is already above 2,000 members. An online petition has been set up, and there are now a flurry of news articles about how the story is uniting pot smokers, which CNN even did a report on:

I ask you So Good readers, who do you want dictating who your cereal spokesperson is? A) Puritanical anti-drug zealots?, B) The 41% of American’s who believe pot should be legal? or C) Patriotic individuals who don’t fire American heroes? Me? I choose B or C.

Some of you may be saying, oh it’s bad PR to keep Phelps, Kellogg’s had no choice, blah, blah, blah. WRONG. Kellogg’s could have easily stood by Michael Phelps. Both Omega and Speedo have NOT dropped Phelps as a spokesperson, and put out statements saying that the picture of him smoking a bong was a private matter. I don’t hear any deafening chorus of people telling me not to buy Speedo’s anymore. So I say bravo Omega, bravo Speedo. I vow to all of my readers that if I ever decide to do a total 180 with my preferred beachwear and buy a bathing suit that exposes 100% of my white, hairy legs, I will make it a Speedo bathing suit.

Subway is already making noises indicating that they will be the next company to cut ties with Phelps. As a former “Sandwich Artist” and lover of Subway, I’m asking you Jared, I’m asking you Subway corporation: don’t do it.  Fear my wrath, fear the wrath of So Good’s readers, and fear the wrath of rational thinking American’s everywhere who have already elected a pot-smoking President and can therefore totally, most definitely, handle a pot-smoking sandwich spokesperson. I don’t want to have to boycott you Subway, but mark my words, I will.

There’s plenty of other cereals out there. General Mills, Post, those weird bags that are always on the bottom shelf. Sure, Pop Tarts are pretty tasty, but I’m sure the store brand “toaster pastries” are fine too. Be honest with yourself: you could live without Kellogg’s. So do it. DO IT. Boycott Kellogg’s.  It’s time to stand up for Michael Phelps, and stand up to American corporations who want to take money out of the pockets of American heroes just because when they are partying they prefer to smoke a plant instead of chugging a Coors Light.

If you feel the same way I do, let Kellogg’s know how you feel:

Kellogg’s Consumer Affairs: [email protected]
Kellogg’s corporate responsibility department: [email protected]

29 Responses

  1. food techie

    In my opinion,there are also many other reasons to boycott Kellog’s not only about this issue, but that’s just me.

    And maybe it’s just me too (I’m not American, and how things are different where I live) , but smoking pot is considered “normal” and acceptable…??? In America you mean? What about other parts of the world?

    Reply
  3. Denise Smith

    ummm dudes. In this wonderful country of which Michael Phelps so skillfully represented, possession of marijuana is ILLEGAL. I think you are missing the point.

    Reply
  5. AC

    Having inhaled myself, I’m standing up for Kellogg’s on this one. Pot smokers don’t belong on a Wheaties box. That’s not the image they’re selling and they have every right to dump him.

    Reply
  6. Karen

    I think Kelloggs took appropriate action. As Denise pointed out – what he did is illegal. Regardless of the fact that millions of other folks have done the exact same thing, Phelps is conisdered a role model for young people; young people who emulate the actions of their heroes and idols. Are you saying we should encourage our kids to go out and start smoking pot? What about other illegal activities? And yes, millions of little kids also idolize “stars” like Britney whose actions are far from perfect either and NO, I wouldn’t want them to start imitating her either but so far what she’s been doing isn’t illegal as far as I know.

    While I agree that there are more than enough other reasons to boycott Kellogg’s, the fact that they’re not supporting illegal activity by continuing to have Phelps as a sponsor gets a thumbs up from me.

    Reply
  7. food techie

    I *think* another valid fact that differentiates Kellog’s (and maybe Subway’s) action compared to Omega and Speedo, is the fact that they are FOOD companies. Not only that, they are promoting “healthy, wellness, wholesome-ness etc etc” in their brand, which might not reflect well upon having a pot smoking person as their spokesperson.

    Dunno what that means about the US endorsing Obama though! (=D j/k!)

    What do you think John?

    Reply
  8. M

    Karen-
    I think you are stupid. Just because something is illegal does not mean that it’s inherently wrong, and vice versa. Owning slaves was legal, and women couldn’t vote. If Michael Phelps can hit the bong and win olympic medals, more power to him. It’s his choice. The legality of the situation is highly suspect anyhow.

    Reply
  9. Cary

    First of all, Karen, I would not want to grow up in a world where your children idolize Britney Spears. Illegal activities…hmm…driving without a license in the state of California, driving with her child unrestrained in her lap, driving with the baby seat backwards, eating morphine lollipops (that’ll be a nice So Good feature later on) usually reserved for cancer patients, holding her children hostage…um. What?

    No one seems to mention that Phelps was put on a box of FROSTED FLAKES. FROSTED FLAKES, people. Granted, what he did was illegal, but why are we so surprised?

    David Hasslehoff is drunk and eating a giant sandwich in front of his teenage daughter…oh, that’s just gossip fodder. That’s not terrifying and depressing. Although that sandwich looked fantastic!

    Meanwhile, a 23-year-old white male smokes a bong and CNN is putting together opinion pieces. Great. I don’t care.

    It’s Kellogg’s prerogative. That being said, it’s been a DECADE since I ate their cereal and I certainly won’t eat that garbage any time soon.
    Frosted Flakes are not a good source of nutrition. They are tiny sugar depositories pointing you towards tooth decay. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY FOOD. STOP KIDDING YOURSELVES.

    Reply
  10. Eick

    Food Techie – a fair point about food companies having to think more about promoting health and wellness, but as I just noted in my update, Subway has decided NOT to drop Phelps, which is an interesting decision. Perhaps they saw all the anti-Kellogg’s backlash building online and realized there was much more risk in dropping Phelps than in keeping him.

    Reply
  11. Stacey Snacks

    I used your line at a dinner party this weekend
    “the guy who invented pop tarts had to be high”.
    I totally agree! and who else is eating them besides drunk and stoned college kids!!!!
    (the good old days!).
    Stacey Snacks

    Reply
  12. Aaronichi

    Might I remind people that Phelps had a DUI under his belt ( a way worse offence than hitting a bong) BEFORE getting endorsed by Kellogg’s and Subway. What is this saying about our consumer culture?

    Reply
  13. shatraw

    smoking marijuana from glass marijuana pipes is illegal! he should be in jail! with the rest of the drugs users!

    whoever made the point about slavery being legal and women not getting to vote said it best. and it was totally topped off by whoever else said that the drunk driving arrest was OK for kelloggs, but the bong wasn’t.

    the funny part about all of this is that someone just wanted to give phelps his comeuppance, because “american hero” or not, the guy is supposedly a huge asshat.

    also, the word hero is overused. the guy swims fast, which barely qualifies as “unique” but misses hero by a 2 furlongs. until dolphin boy starts swimming the salaries of corporate execs down river where the rest of america wades, he ain’t done shit.

    Reply
  14. food techie

    i’m still so confused over the openness of smoking pot here. TRYING to see the relevance of Kellogs’ main customers are teens on a high.

    Oh well, we all learn a new thing each time right!

    Reply
  15. Mary

    This rant was more or less on SNL.

    But at any rate, I’m going to have to disagree with you. Pot smoking is illegal, plain and simple, and the fact that college-age people all over the country does not change that. Phelps broke the law, and he should not be supported in doing that. Kellogg’s did the right thing.

    If Kellogg’s hadn’t cut the deal, what would that prove? That law breaking doesn’t interfere with success? What kind of a lesson is that to teach to young Americans? He broke the law, and he should suffer the consequences.

    I honestly cannot believe that this is such a controversy.

    Reply
  16. pressly

    eick the truthspeaker. kellog’s costs too much anyway. fuck the dumb shit, im buying Post.

    Reply
  17. Raiders757

    I think some of the posters completely missed the point. So what if pot is illegal? The point is, a majority of America think it’s time to redefine out drug laws, as well as end the lost “war on drugs”.

    None of us are perfect, and it’s nice to know that someone who can do so much, is normal after all.

    This roll model crap, is just that as well. The only roll models children should have, is their parents and family. If you let your kids look up towards athletes as roll models, you have failed, and are no better than those you accuse of being less than yourselves.

    I don’t smoke weed anymore, and never will again, but at least I understand the culture behind it. Most of you “it’s illegal” drum thumpers, truly have no clue what your talking about. Your only knowledge is from the propaganda your government force fed you.

    Illegal or not, the people have spoken, and the majority thinks Kellogg’s is is full of shit. Almost as much shit as yourselves.

    Reply
  18. Scott

    As others have pointed out to me, Subway is a big supporter of smoking pot. Michael Phelps is just their latest messenger for that. Notice they changed the name of their bread to HERB and cheese bread; their soup signs say “Try our Soup-HERBly flavored soups.” The red eyes with the munchies who come to Subway understand this, but the rest of us aren’t supposed to. But their support of Michael Phelps makes it oh so clear.

    Reply
  19. atrix case

    You can’t completely blame Kellogg’s for this, they were stuck between a rock and a hard place and it would be hard to please everyone. No matter what they did they would have people attacking them.

    Reply
  20. Shannon

    I think the key term in your post about all the political figures smoking pot is that they used to probably several years ago. As in it is something they can reveal about their youth to make them seem kinda cool, but they also have prestigious degrees and several years of work experience. None of them would admit to smoking weed now. Kelloggs cereals are mostly marketed to children who should not be influenced to partake in illegal activities.

    Reply

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